Today wasn’t any better my mood spiked to further level of down. Sat on my bed crying for about an hour before trying to find something to wear. I wish I could say I felt better and I did this morning when I woke up. I got up and decided to try and smile and put myself to work doing different things to get excited. Unfortunately something triggered me into a downward spiral of just feeling like completely angered and out of control. The truth is I knew it was happening but couldn’t stop myself from just losing complete control. I did end up in my room pleading with God to help me, I cried as I laid in bed. I finally got up again and here I am getting dressed, trying to get excited for tonight and smile for everyone around. One of the most important things for me, is to know when I have lost control and try avoid things that will bring me into that state of mind. It’s one of my coping skills and asking God just for the strength to get up again is enough for me to get up. I did cry in a full blown crying fit and as I write this I am still not carefree. It’s a matter of knowing I will never be “normal” like others and learning to just be happy being myself. It’s not easy I wish I could say it is but it is not. It is something I must fight everyday, every single morning and throughout the day. If fighting bipolar was as easy as taking a pill and walking around happy everyone that suffers from it would be happy. Unfortunately reality is much more harsh than some dream pill to make you feel like you are normal. It’s a fight that you have to be willing to fight and if I can fight it so can you. So if you reading this right now and suffer from it or know someone that suffers from it. Just know you aren’t alone and it’s extremely hard but you can do it. And to all those whom hold the person that suffers from the illness don’t give up because they need you more than you will ever know. I do hope this Christmas is blessed for all of you. ~Emma~
Tag: thankful
Daily positive advice….
I hope everyone has a blessed day filled with love and blessings. Spread as much love as you can and kindness to others it’s the only way to truly change the world. ~Emma~
Stay positive
No matter how dark things may seem stay positive. Don’t let the darkness take a hold of you. Keep fighting it because it will take you down if you allow it. Stay strong. ~Emma~
Feel the magic
There is something so magical about this time of the year. No matter how crappy I feel I can’t stop smiling. People that don’t believe in Jesus Christ I can’t understand how you can not feel the magic of the season. Either way I hope everyone is doing well listening to Christmas music. And just try enjoying the beautiful season no stress just enjoy the moments of the season. Have a beautiful night. ~Emma~
Still sick but still smiling
Trying to stay positive but my body is betraying me. I spend most of my time sleeping. Hopefully this medication will help me get my strength back. I have so much to do. I am missing my group therapy for a second time this month. I really enjoy them but I can’t get through the session with all this coughing. So I am aiming for next week. I hope you have a beautiful day. Don’t forget no matter how crappy you feel things could always be worse. So even through the bad mood or sickness smile, it not only changes your moody ass but others around you. So don’t forget to Smile 😊 ~Emma~
Love always
bible.com/bible/1/1jn.4.20.KJVBeing sick 🤒
I have been sick for over a week. I finally get some antibiotics after seeing the doctor this afternoon. Hopefully I will be fine by the weekend so I can try posting again. Hope everyone has a wonderful blessed week. No matter how small the victory is remember to always be grateful for it. ~Emma~
Dear friend: written by Emmanuelle-Rose Grace
Dear “friend”, I want to say thank you for we no longer speak. Time has passed us by and friends we never really were you see. Things change, I have changed, my heart no longer cares for any of you. It’s strange you love something till you find out it wasn’t worth your time and it never was. You learn to let go not because you have forgotten the hurt or pain but because you no longer need them at all. They no longer exist in your life. You learned a valuable lesson that your “friend” may never see but wish them well. Never look back with regret and don’t forget the only one with the power is yourself. This “friend” I write about doesn’t exist they never did. Complete figment of my imagination because the truth is, real friends would be there for you, only figments of our imagination never existed in our life. So let go of the lie this friend never existed. Tomorrow when you open your eyes it’s your world no one else’s. So erase the figment of your imagination and dive into a new world free from the lie. Stop wasting time on shadows that never existed live in the present with the love around you. Sincerely, the Black Rose
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Words to live by…
◦ Let the seeds you planted be what you look forward in the future. Plant beautiful seeds everywhere you go and may the season they blossom bring much joy. ~Emma~
Emma the Mizfit 