What is your mission?
To find the path God wants me on. I want to be an explain of His love and His patience. He has given me so much I want to repay that by showing what He had done for me. I want to be the light He gave me in my darkest moments. Also to bring awareness to the mental health issues and how is the only answer.
What is the greatest gift someone could give you?
Love me the way I am. Accept me the way I am. Be with me regardless of the chaos that I am. Stand strong with me and hold me up when I can’t. That would be the greatest gift for me.
“traitor”
Brown guilty eyes and little white lies
Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew
That you talked to her, maybe did even worse
I kept quiet so I could keep you
And ain’t it funny
How you ran to her
The second that we called it quits?
And ain’t it funny
How you said you were friends?
Now it sure as hell don’t look like it
You betrayed me
And I know that you’ll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah
You talked to her
When we were together
Loved you at your worst
But that didn’t matter
It took you two weeks
To go off and date her
Guess you didn’t cheat
But you’re still a traitor
Now you bring her around
Just to shut me down
Show her off like she’s a new trophy
And I know if you were true
There’s no damn way that you
Could fall in love with somebody that quickly
Ain’t it funny
All the twisted games
All the questions you used to avoid?
Ain’t it funny?
Remember I brought her up
And you told me I was paranoid
You betrayed me
And I know that you’ll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah
You talked to her
When we were together
Loved you at your worst
But that didn’t matter
It took you two weeks
To go off and date her
Guess you didn’t cheat
But you’re still a traitor
God, I wish that you had thought this through
Before I went and fell in love with you
When she’s sleeping in the bed we made
Don’t you dare forget about the way
You betrayed me
‘Cause I know that you’ll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah
You talked to her
When we were together
You gave me your word
But that didn’t matter
It took you two weeks
To go off and date her
Guess you didn’t cheat
But you’re still
You’re still a traitor
Yeah, you’re still a traitor
God, I wish that you had thought this through
Before I went and fell in love with you
How have your political views changed over time?
As I have gotten older I have become more conservative. When I was younger g I wouldn’t say I was super liberal but somewhat. As time has passed my views changed. Especially when it came to abortion. The fact that the baby isn’t even considered a human being makes me extremely sad. Many women never get the chance to have a child of their own and you have some women just aborting babies. I am sorry if it comes off as judgmental but the killing of an innocent child should never be celebrated or praised as a good thing. Becoming a warrior for Christ meant defending the innocent. I don’t wish harm on others especially those that have committed such acts. That is between them and God. But as long as I have breath I will continue advocating as a pro-lifer and one that advocates for the mentally ill.
When are you most happy?
I am the most happiest when I am able to be myself comfortably and completely without having to constantly say I am sorry for being myself. It’s not easy having bipolar, I tend to repeat things and go in circles a lot. I use coping skills and try to constantly remind myself to not do it but I do fail at times. So it’s nice when I can just be myself without worrying about wasting someone’s time. I can actually say I don’t get to be that happy most of the time. The world is constantly asking for people to be themselves but the truth is when it comes to mental health it’s still a topic no one truly wants to understand. Instead they would rather ignore the person or the problem. So I am forced a lot of the time to not speak in order to contain myself. Even around the people I feel the most comfortable with, I am still forced to not be myself. I guess I hope one day I can find someone I can be myself with. If that day comes cool if it doesn’t it’s because it was never meant to be. Someone told me a few days ago faith is my thing not theirs, and yes it is. I believe the Creator of the Universe has a purpose for each person. He removes things in your life for a reason. Is it faith to believe that the path I walk on, is something I might have to walk alone without a man possibly. But I am never alone, I have God with me so it’s okay to accept that journey with just Him by my side. Because regardless if no one ever can truly make feel comfortable or love me being myself God does. He loves everything about me and accepts me the way I am. For me that is all I need.
What was the last thing you did for play or fun?
The last thing I did for fun was dance to Christmas music with three dogs trying to jump on me. They danced at my legs trying to climb on me. It was so nice and fun to just dance in the living room with all their little faces looking at me. I did it today by the way, and it was epic. 🤣🐶❤️
Describe a man who has positively impacted your life.
Well if it has to be someone that I have never met per as without a spiritual connection it would have to be Jesus Christ. He gives me the direction I must go. Fills my heart when I am sad and hopeless. He gives me hope that no matter how dark times maybe He will always be by my side. As for a man not counting Jesus Christ, a few have come and gone that have left impressions and lessons I have learned from them. But to be honest I have never met anyone other than Jesus that has positively influenced my life. Again don’t get me wrong few have come and helped me to grow into a better person. But if I weigh that against how they made me feel or the way the spoke to me or treated me, it would be a hard not enough to justify them being in my life at all.
Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?
Surprisingly it’s better than I pictured my life a year ago. Things might not be perfect or even going the way I planned but it is good. Life is good. For that I am grateful to God for allowing me another year of life and the endless blessings he has bestowed upon me.
I try hard to keep up. You have never made it easy so I gave up. Time has lost all its luster and my feelings are dead. I stop caring after learning you can careless. It’s like the quote goes from How I met your mother…
“You may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone’s face, but there’s a third option: you can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone, and you can move forward.” – Ted Mosby
Because of your mother
I can’t seem to forget
That our love is a trembling one
And healthy to my soul
Because of your father
You’ve got a hole in your trust
And when I see you hide it I wish I could
Remove it from your heart
In silence I make promises
I’m lying still in the dark
And because of your peaceful soul
I keep thinking to myself
Don’t, don’t, don’t cry for love
Cry for love
Don’t, don’t, don’t cry for love
Cry for love
Don’t you cry for love
It’s a part of our path
Think about the way
Things were left to be
It’s a raging sea
And colors that you won’t be
Here to see
And it’s just a matter of time
Till they put me in the grave
Till they put you in the grave
So I don’t, don’t, don’t, cry for love
I don’t cry for love
Emma the Mizfit 