If I don’t write you it’s because I stop giving a f**k.
Tag: sunshine
Secret skill
What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?
The secret ability I wish I had was to not love so easily. I give my heart to the wrong people because I fall in love too easily. Is it love, admiration or simply giving of my heart away I don’t know. But I really wish I had the ability like so many others to keep it to myself. It’s hard to always be an open book. It’s hard for me and it’s hard for others. I try never pretend to be something I am not and always share my feelings. I wish I could ignore them I wish I had the ability to keep them to myself but I don’t. I get easily hurt and I immediately close the book on that chapter. Some might say I close it too quickly while others say I dwell for too long. Either way I learn my lesson and move on. But I do wish I had the skill to be able to not fall so hard and be so open about it.
Finding love
How does one truly find love? Now I am not talking about the love of family, friends or even the love of God. Though all these are important, I am speaking of love from a partner.
I believe there must be a connection to the person, whether that be a person that is attractive to you by some sort of beauty, personality, a quality that makes them more outstanding than others.
I am one that personally goes by the smile I see on a man. For me a man that has a beautiful smile is absolutely a must. Not anything other than the fact that when a man has a genuine beautiful smile it usually means he will make me smile. I love to smile and I love to have someone that makes me laugh.
In a world filled with so much darkness it’s nice to have a companion that can make you smile. Smiling can change anyone’s day. It’s like walking into work and passing by a coworker that greets you with a genuine smile and says have a beautiful day. Somehow that makes you feel better, it brightens your day, it lightens your mood. Did that coworker know all that m, probably not nor did they probably think about it. But that coworker just changed your day. I use this as an example because it has happened to me and I am sure it has happened to you. It’s why I always speak about smiling because you never know whose day you might change just by a smile.
So this brings me back to love a smile is a definite for me. I have not found love yet and maybe when I find it I will know. It is extremely hard to find love today for the simple fact many men search for beauty, youthful girls and I cannot compete with a 20 year old. That just isn’t happening I have accepted that and I am completely fine with that. There are a lot of things girls that are single will do that I won’t. I have respect for myself and expect the same from the man I date.
There has to be more than just a smile that connects two people. There has to be more than attractiveness that connects two people. Both are fleeting and won’t make anything last.
There has to be things other than outside appearances that connect two people to truly make you find that connection. Common goals, common dreams, common beliefs, these are things I truly believe make connections last longer. Leading to the path of find love. Being able to have conversations with that person about anything because you trust them. Or even sit in silence with that person that is a connection very few have.
Love is a feeling. I love music, I love writing, I love walking dogs, I love playing with dogs, I love the seasons and when they change, I love Christmas, I love roses and how they are full of thorns. I love having conversations with men and learning about what they like and don’t like. I love hearing about passions. I love being myself and I love finding someone whom I can be myself with. I love a lot of things.
So I guess finding love is somewhere in between all that. Love is more than just feeling it’s also having that connection with a person. Going through the pain, happiness, sadness together that is love. Have I found it, not yet. But one can never lose hope. Hope is eternal and I like to keep hope alive always.
Dragon Stole My Heart: written by Emmanuelle-Rose Grace
The other side of the world, I still think of you
Coming from two different cultures I still want you
Knowing that it will never be a possibility I still wish for it
Seeing your smile brightens my day
Seeing you laugh, makes me feel
Giddy like I want to play
I dream of the day I get to kiss you
I dream of the day I get to touch you
I dream of your laughter in my ear
My fingers running through your black hair
My hands touching your white pale skin
It’s only in my dreams that I get to see you
It’s only in my dreams that I get to be with you
To hear your laugh, to touch your skin, to feel your lips
The day may never come, that I may never get to do any of these things
But for now, as I fall asleep, I know that I will get to see you there. Good night my sweet Babe
Be yourself
If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be, and why?
I know this is going to sound silly but honestly I wouldn’t want to be someone else. What has made me unique, what has made me, ME, are my life experiences. The dark times I have gone through, the happy times and the times of complete insanity shaped me into who I am today. I love completely, I hide nothing, I trust easily, I try to live with no regrets and move forward. I have an open heart and don’t hide my feelings well. I don’t act fake and won’t pretend to be fake. It is a weakness and a strength. So I wouldn’t want to be someone else even for a day.
Advice to my teen self…
What advice would you give to your teenage self?
The advice I would give myself as a teenager would be, “don’t allow anyone to control you. That starts by learning to not react to others. Learn self discipline and learn to control yourself. Learn that you can’t change anyone. Learn that you can’t control the circumstances of life. Learn to grow from each situation. Each thing that happens in life will be for a reason, even if you can’t see that now. Allowing your emotions to cloud your mind, leads to you making choices you might never have chosen if you had a clear mind. So allow yourself time to reflect. Allow yourself time to hurt. Allow yourself time to be alone, away from others. Allow yourself to be comfortable in the quietness of yourself. Never give anyone the power over you and that can only start by controlling yourself. Most of all don’t forget that no matter what, you are never truly alone. God will always be with you.”
FaceTime
The most important invention in your lifetime is…
FaceTime it allows you to see your loved ones no matter where they are in the world. Though it will never be the same as holding and hugging the people you love. It gives you the opportunity to speak to them daily. It better than cellphones. Because again you can be with the person see their face enjoy the time together even though you are in different parts of the country or even the world. It’s definitely the greatest invention during my time.
Scars Fade
How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?
Each life event we go through as human beings we either learn and grow from that experience. Or we learn nothing and stay in a perpetual state of victimhood. We are all struggling, fighting our own demons or just simply fighting life. It is through these trials that we become stronger and learn from our past mistakes. Not taking the time to learn from our past mistakes will allow us to continue making the same mistakes over and over again. I have learned in life that we must change our perspective, focus on the goals we wish to obtain and let go of the things that we cannot change. Doing this, I have allowed myself to become stronger and not defined by my past. This has also allowed me to be open about my feelings, my sickness and not hide who I am. It’s given me great strength. It has me freed me to be myself. Growing constantly into a better version of myself. It has given me the confidence that I need to be comfortable in my own skin. I may not be perfect, I am extremely flawed and extremely chaotic but I have learned there’s only one like me. Through time life events are like scars, they never really go away, but they fade. They stay a part of you as a lesson, but overtime you can hardly see them.
White Flag by Dido
I know you think that I shouldn’t still love you
Or tell you that
But if I didn’t say it, well I’d still have felt it
Where’s the sense in that?
I promise I’m not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were
I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be
I know I left too much mess and
Destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can’t talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of it’s over
Then I’m sure that that makes sense
I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be
And when we meet
Which I’m sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I’ll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I’ve moved on
I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag abobe my door
I’m in love and always will be
Farm life
What would you do if you won the lottery?
I would buy a huge farm where I can grow my own food, have lots of dogs, chickens and other animals. Hire people to help me run the farm. I would rescue of bunch of the dogs from the shelter. Yeah even save some of the them cats at the shelter. Build a grand house where my whole family can live. But also build different guest houses on the property so they can stay, while also having privacy for themselves. Though while staying they would have to do tasks around the farm to earn their stay. We would all have to eat dinner together as one family. I know it’s crazy coming from a girl that grew up in the city but honestly I think that would be the best life.
Emma the Mizfit 