Tag: stronger

Scary moment today

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Today the scariest thing happened. I was eating across from my mom and she suddenly started turning white. I immediately ran over to her grabbed her hands and asked her what was wrong. She wasn’t answering me. It’s like she was staring at me but like nothing I said she could hear. Of course in full panic I tried again, mom what is wrong please tell me? Are you having a stroke please mom tell me? Tears running down my eyes I kept grabbing her hands and face asking please tell me what is wrong? I started saying please just breathe calm down.

Mom, just breathe take deep breaths. I gave her water and she started drinking it. It seems she was chocking and she didn’t even know. She was able to swallow what was in her throat with the water. I was so scared the panic in her eyes the panic that overtook me was absolutely frightening.

I know one day my mom won’t be here and my dad won’t be here. I just pray that’s not anytime soon. Today was such a scary event and I just I was so scared. I know I’m extremely lucky but I still have both my parents when so many don’t. I’m just not ready to let them go not yet. And I pray to God that time doesn’t come anytime soon because that really scares me.

Thank God everything worked out and she’s fine but it really did scare me. I am so grateful to God that I could hug my mom tonight, smell her hair, hold her in my arms, kiss her and say good night.

Just a friendly reminder to live each day like it’s your last. To love like you will never love again. And cherish each moment because you will never know when that moment becomes a memory. ~Always Emma.~



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It’s 3:23 AM in the morning, I can’t sleep. My head is pounding and I have a very bad nasal infection I think or sinus infection. I haven’t made any videos since last Friday because I’ve been sick. Hopefully trying to cure this naturally will get me better in the end. I’ve decided this time. I am not taking any antibiotics but instead I’m going to use nothing but natural healing remedies to try to get me to get better.

I’ve spent time in the sauna with essential oils trying to break up the mucus in my chest and sinuses. My head is stuffy, feel like I can only breathe one side of my nose. Being in the sauna has worked tremendously, but unfortunately, it’s taking a lot longer for me to feel better. I have pretty much lost my voice. It’s very raspy and it hurts when I talk. But I am hoping for a good outcome in the end. So while I take some time out to just let my body heal I hope you have a wonderful amazing week.

I know it’s Tuesday morning, but I’m writing this while I lie in bed waiting to fall asleep, hoping I can sleep well tonight. I hope your Tuesday is a wonderful, beautiful blessed day and week. ~Emma~

Letting you in

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What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

The thing I am scared to do the most is to allow people into my heart. Time after time, I have a lot of people in my heart, but never really given my heart away. I built this wall around myself. I know it’s been there. Maybe it’s protecting myself from the bad things that I have experienced.

But as I’ve grown more comfortable being myself, I’ve also learned that in order to truly have a good relationship with another person, you open yourself and be willing to get hurt.

As the years have gone by, I’ve learned to understand what I like about a man while also learning to be more open, act like a grownup and learning a relationship is a partnership you give and take but always have each other’s backs. I wanna be honest, I wanna connect intellectually. I want to feel more than just a connection.

I want him to teach me new things while also learning how to grow together as one. This has been a scary thought for many years. I have thought I had fallen but the truth is I always hid a piece of myself and was never really honest. I hope the day comes I can find someone to be myself around.

Liberation day 

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Today was the Inauguration of President Trump. After four years under the Biden administration it finally feels good to be free from him. This isn’t about being a Republican or Democrat it was about being American. I was so tired of trying to explain why I am proud being American.

People from every nation are proud of their homeland, this is my homeland. I am not embarrassed where I come from nor should I be. People are taught to hate themselves for what? I can never understand why you would listen to anyone tell you to hate yourself.

As a person that suffered a devastating severe depression that left me in a mind prison for 10 years. When I was finally freed, thanks to God, it took me forever to feel like myself. As I grow each day not looking back at the past, I learn to be more comfortable in myself.

So again why would I listen to anyone that tells me I need to hate myself. Not only hate myself but also I need to fit in the boxes they decided to make. No thank you, I like being myself. I don’t need to fit into the box you have created for me to live in.

As a Christian I love everyone but I don’t need to be around everyone, nor do I have to accept everyone. Just like everyone doesn’t have to love me or accept me. It’s God I follow, it’s God that I have to answer to, it’s God who saved me from the darkness and it was God that saved Trump.

Was it to save the United States from the insanity it was going through, I do believe that. Regardless of how, Trump was saved to be used by God, that was His plan.

In the end I am just absolutely happy the madness of 100 genders, offending people by just being myself is done. So for me today isn’t just another Inauguration Day, for me it’s a day to celebrate my country. I may have ancestors from Spain but my country is America, my blood is American and my heart is for America.

So to all my fellow patriots I hope you have a beautiful night celebrating winning our country back. Make America Great Again!

Happy New Year

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I am praying everyone has a beautiful blessed new year. May God bless you all with love, joyous moments with the people you love, and a healthy year ahead. Stay well my darlings. ~Emma~

Anime

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What’s your favorite cartoon?

I love anime. Mr favorite cartoons growing up was watching Batman and the Superman animated series. I still watch them from time to time. Even now I still make time to watch each new DC animated movie. Even if they suck I will watch them.

I recently watched an anime called My Happy Marriage. Loved the the love story between the two and the magic components. I hope the second season will be just as good as the first one.

Shhh 🤫

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What could you do less of?

Share less about myself. I am trying to grow into a better version of myself. I have learned that some mysteries are better left not knowing. It builds the intrigue of the person. The only way to accomplish that is by learning to stay silent. So that’s exactly what I am trying to do.

Being comfortable

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What is one thing you would change about yourself?

I have grown into a better version of myself. I have learned from my mistakes and changed my perspective on life. I think it’s easy for us to forget that in order for us to keep moving forward. We need to focus on something greater than ourselves.

I am learning to be more confident in myself and more comfortable in my own skin. If there is one thing I can change about myself, it would be to stay more silent.

I was once told by an old acquaintance that sometimes it is better to not say anything or be comfortable in the silence. I never understood what he meant until I started taking time for myself in the silence.

There is such power being in silence and not having to fill the silence with words that mean nothing. Taking time to reflect or be comfortable in the silence is extremely powerful.

I never got to share that with him, that he taught me an extremely important lesson. And though our paths may never cross again, I am grateful that he did teach me such an important lesson.

Sometimes being in the quietness amongst the chaos of the world is absolute freedom.

So if I have to change about myself it would be to spend more time in the silence. Thinking my own thoughts, listening to the words of other people around me just being comfortable in the silence.

Dogs

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Who are your current most favorite people?

Dogs are my favorite. I would say “people” suck. Dogs are like little angels that just help in life.