Today wasn’t any better my mood spiked to further level of down. Sat on my bed crying for about an hour before trying to find something to wear. I wish I could say I felt better and I did this morning when I woke up. I got up and decided to try and smile and put myself to work doing different things to get excited. Unfortunately something triggered me into a downward spiral of just feeling like completely angered and out of control. The truth is I knew it was happening but couldn’t stop myself from just losing complete control. I did end up in my room pleading with God to help me, I cried as I laid in bed. I finally got up again and here I am getting dressed, trying to get excited for tonight and smile for everyone around. One of the most important things for me, is to know when I have lost control and try avoid things that will bring me into that state of mind. It’s one of my coping skills and asking God just for the strength to get up again is enough for me to get up. I did cry in a full blown crying fit and as I write this I am still not carefree. It’s a matter of knowing I will never be “normal” like others and learning to just be happy being myself. It’s not easy I wish I could say it is but it is not. It is something I must fight everyday, every single morning and throughout the day. If fighting bipolar was as easy as taking a pill and walking around happy everyone that suffers from it would be happy. Unfortunately reality is much more harsh than some dream pill to make you feel like you are normal. It’s a fight that you have to be willing to fight and if I can fight it so can you. So if you reading this right now and suffer from it or know someone that suffers from it. Just know you aren’t alone and it’s extremely hard but you can do it. And to all those whom hold the person that suffers from the illness don’t give up because they need you more than you will ever know. I do hope this Christmas is blessed for all of you. ~Emma~
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Daily positive advice….
I hope everyone has a blessed day filled with love and blessings. Spread as much love as you can and kindness to others it’s the only way to truly change the world. ~Emma~
Stay positive
No matter how dark things may seem stay positive. Don’t let the darkness take a hold of you. Keep fighting it because it will take you down if you allow it. Stay strong. ~Emma~
Love always
bible.com/bible/1/1jn.4.20.KJVBeing sick 🤒
I have been sick for over a week. I finally get some antibiotics after seeing the doctor this afternoon. Hopefully I will be fine by the weekend so I can try posting again. Hope everyone has a wonderful blessed week. No matter how small the victory is remember to always be grateful for it. ~Emma~
Dear friend: written by Emmanuelle-Rose Grace
Dear “friend”, I want to say thank you for we no longer speak. Time has passed us by and friends we never really were you see. Things change, I have changed, my heart no longer cares for any of you. It’s strange you love something till you find out it wasn’t worth your time and it never was. You learn to let go not because you have forgotten the hurt or pain but because you no longer need them at all. They no longer exist in your life. You learned a valuable lesson that your “friend” may never see but wish them well. Never look back with regret and don’t forget the only one with the power is yourself. This “friend” I write about doesn’t exist they never did. Complete figment of my imagination because the truth is, real friends would be there for you, only figments of our imagination never existed in our life. So let go of the lie this friend never existed. Tomorrow when you open your eyes it’s your world no one else’s. So erase the figment of your imagination and dive into a new world free from the lie. Stop wasting time on shadows that never existed live in the present with the love around you. Sincerely, the Black Rose
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Words to live by…
◦ Let the seeds you planted be what you look forward in the future. Plant beautiful seeds everywhere you go and may the season they blossom bring much joy. ~Emma~
Love you
Just because I love you doesn’t mean I want to.
You know Nothing!!!
Today was a long day. Sitting here about to have a conversation with God and wanted to drop few lines. I finished reading the first Dune book. It was really good and I really enjoyed it. I am looking forward to the next book in the series. I watched the whole Tim Pool/Kayne thing last night. My heart goes out to Kayne. Unfortunately, the world is extremely cruel to ppl with a mental illness disorder. They don’t understand and they are extremely dismissive about anything coming from someone that has any mental health issue. I really do feel for him because unlike many others that assume to know how it feels or understand, you don’t. It’s not easy and you can be compassionate, understanding and love the person that suffers. But at the end of the day you have no clue how hard it is for them to fight to be heard. You have no idea how hard life is for them. You can watch all you like and judge however you like. But unless you are suffering and fighting every day with mental health problems you have no idea. So please do me a favor to all the ppl that think they know….shut up! You know nothing. What that person needs is love, kindness, compassion, understanding, to feel like they are heard and God. If you can’t be any of those things in that person’s life stfu and walk away. I have zero tolerance for ppl that pretend to know how it feels or how they think it is. You have no clue, so stop. My prayers go out to Kayne and all of you whom suffer from any mental disorder. It’s not an easy fight. You fight each and every day but don’t give up. You are not alone. Never forget you are not alone!!! I might be one but together we are many. Always, Emma~
Emma the Mizfit 