Tag: stay strong

Can’t sleep

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I am writing this at three in the morning. Today was a really good day. I can’t complain, but I can’t sleep. I worked out, went to PT, did acupuncture, it really was a good day. I mean every day that you’re alive is a good day isn’t it?

Unfortunately sleeping is my biggest problem right now. My dreams have been filled with nightmares of darkness. I get the same ones over and over.

Most of my dreams are centered around seeing things I shouldn’t see. I am usually walking in the city. There are flames and fires everywhere, there are dead bodies all over the place. Everything is destroyed in that and there I am just walking in the midst of all that chaos and destruction. It’s a dream that I’ve had over and over again. I don’t know why I have it yet I dream it over and over again.

Sometimes I wonder if they will ever stop. Right after I start thinking that I get like five dreams in a row crazy dreams. It’s funny because so many people I ask “do you dream” and their answer is always “no”. When I go to bed the moment I fall asleep I am dreaming all night from dream to dream to dream. Hopefully tonight I get to sleep, even if it’s dream and dream and dream.

I hope tonight you have wonderful dreams always ~Emma~

Liberation day 

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Today was the Inauguration of President Trump. After four years under the Biden administration it finally feels good to be free from him. This isn’t about being a Republican or Democrat it was about being American. I was so tired of trying to explain why I am proud being American.

People from every nation are proud of their homeland, this is my homeland. I am not embarrassed where I come from nor should I be. People are taught to hate themselves for what? I can never understand why you would listen to anyone tell you to hate yourself.

As a person that suffered a devastating severe depression that left me in a mind prison for 10 years. When I was finally freed, thanks to God, it took me forever to feel like myself. As I grow each day not looking back at the past, I learn to be more comfortable in myself.

So again why would I listen to anyone that tells me I need to hate myself. Not only hate myself but also I need to fit in the boxes they decided to make. No thank you, I like being myself. I don’t need to fit into the box you have created for me to live in.

As a Christian I love everyone but I don’t need to be around everyone, nor do I have to accept everyone. Just like everyone doesn’t have to love me or accept me. It’s God I follow, it’s God that I have to answer to, it’s God who saved me from the darkness and it was God that saved Trump.

Was it to save the United States from the insanity it was going through, I do believe that. Regardless of how, Trump was saved to be used by God, that was His plan.

In the end I am just absolutely happy the madness of 100 genders, offending people by just being myself is done. So for me today isn’t just another Inauguration Day, for me it’s a day to celebrate my country. I may have ancestors from Spain but my country is America, my blood is American and my heart is for America.

So to all my fellow patriots I hope you have a beautiful night celebrating winning our country back. Make America Great Again!

Mom

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Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

Being around my mom I have always felt loved. Even when I disappointed her. Even when I fought with her. Even when I was rebellious teen she never stop loving me. She has showed me what unconditional love means.

Dogs

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What is your favorite animal?

My favorite animal by far is a dog. I know I am a little biased on this particular subject but I can’t help myself. Dogs love you no matter what. Treat them badly they love you, hurt them they love you, ignore them they love you.

As a dog sitter myself having dogs constantly coming and going makes me enjoy life. These dogs spend days or a day here but they remember.

I will be walking in the park with my sister and a dog I haven’t seen in months will pull his whole family to come see us.

They are such remarkable creatures. They absolutely with their complete heart and that is why I will always favor dogs.

I also believe dogs can sense evil. So again another reason to love your four legged bestie.

Happy New Year

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I am praying everyone has a beautiful blessed new year. May God bless you all with love, joyous moments with the people you love, and a healthy year ahead. Stay well my darlings. ~Emma~

Mom

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What relationships have a positive impact on you?

The relationship between me and my mom has always had a positive impact on me. Even though we have had our differences and fought many times my mother is my guiding light. She is strong, far stronger than I think I will ever be.

I have seen what she has been able to accomplish throughout her life, raising a family, being a wife, being a grandmother, a role model for her daughters. She would work a full-time job come home and cook a three course meal. My mom always worked. It didn’t matter if she retired. She was always working.

She fights with you but she’s also quick to forgive you. She can be extremely dismissive, but also very attentive. She just is full of absolute love. Like I said she has always been and will always be a positive in my life. 

Busy bee

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Life has been extremely busy for me. Taking time out to catch up on just personal things has been exhausting. I can’t complain though I am alive and that is always a good thing. I am incredibly blessed and grateful to God for all the blessings He gives me. I hope as the Christmas season is in full bloom I hope you are blessed. May you remember a child was born to save us all. May your heart never forget that it is through that child we are reborn. May this season be a blessing to you all. Filled with love, laughter and pure joy, that you will remember each moment with a smile. Even through the darkest of times there is always something to be grateful for, never forget that. Have a blessed week. ~Emma~

Anime

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What’s your favorite cartoon?

I love anime. Mr favorite cartoons growing up was watching Batman and the Superman animated series. I still watch them from time to time. Even now I still make time to watch each new DC animated movie. Even if they suck I will watch them.

I recently watched an anime called My Happy Marriage. Loved the the love story between the two and the magic components. I hope the second season will be just as good as the first one.

Shhh 🤫

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What could you do less of?

Share less about myself. I am trying to grow into a better version of myself. I have learned that some mysteries are better left not knowing. It builds the intrigue of the person. The only way to accomplish that is by learning to stay silent. So that’s exactly what I am trying to do.