Happy Friday, I hope everyone has a beautiful day and a wonderful weekend. Remember to stay positive and don’t allow the negativity of the world get you down. You can’t change anyone, you can only control how you react. Stay strong and stay positive. ~Emma~
Tag: stay strong
🙂
Have a kind and wonderful weekend. Filled with love and many blessings. ~Emma~
Today…
Some days I just want to give up. Some days I can fight the world.
Some days I just want to be left alone.
Today I wake up with hope that things are going to get better.
Grateful for the blessings and struggles.
Keep fighting the good fight.
Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.
But today you can make a difference even if tomorrow never comes.
Have a beautiful blessed day.
~Emma~
Can’t sleep
I am writing this at 4:23 in the morning. I can’t sleep and I am trying hard. It seems even with the medication to make me fall asleep my mind doesn’t seem to want to shut off. Skipping sleep really isn’t an option for me. The more days I go without sleeping the easier for my grip on reality will start to shift. No one ever really knows how easily it is for a bipolar person to slip, it’s the little details such as not sleeping for days. It definitely leads to a spiral. And unless you have dealt with it personally or know someone that has you have no clue. And the truth is most ppl have no clue. I am going to keep trying to use a different coping skill to help me try and relax. Wish me luck. Nite. ~Emma~
how I am doing…
It has been a very difficult year for me especially the last five months. I did not notice I had gone into a depression until I was in the middle of it. I am working hard with my books and creating content, so I really thought I was fine. It wasn’t till about around my birthday that I realized, I was not just depressed, I was extremely depressed. I have joined group therapy again which is helping me a lot. I am trying some new coping skills to try and change my behavior. The fact that I didn’t even notice I was going through a depression is extremely alarming to me. I can’t afford to allow it to take me over. I spent over 10 years fighting a very dark depression. So, for me being proactive is the only way I can keep myself from falling that deep again. Therapy has always been my go to, coloring, writing, working out all kept me focus. I really thought with the busy schedule, I was doing much better. Now I realized I wasn’t. Why share this? Simple you are not alone. I was so busy trying to focus on the future, what I was doing and how to get there. I wasn’t taking the time to focus on myself. You need to focus on yourself not just work, not just the future and what you want to do. Being proactive when you know you suffer from any mental illness will keep you from losing complete control. It’s important to establish ways to cope and find help when you need it. I made my appointments, told my family and I am going to each session. It is not something I can afford to lose control of, so today I decided to share that with you. Don’t be afraid to fall and seek help when needed. It is not weak to ask for help or find help for yourself. Remember fighting mental illness is a fight that never stops. You wake up, it is part of you and you have to learn to fight it every day. No day will be easy, no day will be lite, each day is worth fighting for. Some people don’t have that battle but it is my battle and if it is your battle don’t give up. You are not alone no matter how many times you feel alone. Keep fighting because each day is worth living. ~~Emma~~
My mood right now— Happier Than Ever by: Billie Eilish
When I’m away from you, I’m happier than ever
Wish I could explain it better
I wish it wasn’t true
Give me a day or two to think of something clever
To write myself a letter
To tell me what to do, mm-mmm
Do you read my interviews?
Or do you skip my avenue? (My avenue)
When you (when you) said you were passing through
Was I even on your way?
I knew when I asked you to (when I asked you to)
Be cool about what I was telling you
You’d do the opposite of what you said you’d do (what you said you’d do)
And I’d end up more afraid
Don’t say it isn’t fair
You clearly weren’t aware that you made me miserable
So if you really wanna know
When I’m away from you (when I’m away from you)
I’m happier than ever (happier than ever)
Wish I could explain it better (wish I could explain it better)
I wish it wasn’t true (wish it wasn’t true), mmm-hmm
You call me again, drunk in your Benz
Driving home under the influence
You scared me to death, but I’m wasting my breath
‘Cause you only listen to your fucking friends
I don’t relate to you
I don’t relate to you, no
‘Cause I’d never treat me this shitty
You made me hate this city
And I don’t talk shit about you on the internet
Never told anyone anything bad
‘Cause that shit’s embarrassing, you were my everything
And all that you did was make me fucking sad
So don’t waste the time I don’t have
And don’t try to make me feel bad
I could talk about every time that you showed up on time
But I’d have an empty line ’cause you never did
Never paid any mind to my mother or friends
So I shut ’em all out for you ’cause I was a kid
You ruined everything good
Always said you were misunderstood
Made all my moments your own
Just fucking leave me alone
Words of wisdom for women
“As women, we have superpowers. We are sisters. We are healers. We are mothers. We are goddess warriors.”. – Merle Dandridge.
Emma the Mizfit 