Tag: show love

That’s why

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Is there an age or year of your life you would re-live?

I’m at the age where I realize I am grateful for the life I have lived. It wasn’t what I set out in my life. Many things happened that took me off the path I wanted to be on. But ultimately it was God that made this path I walk on. For His Will and His Purpose I walk it willingly. I don’t know why but His Purpose is what I live for. So no there is no age or year of my life I would re-live.

Everything happens for a reason learning to accept that is hard. But knowing the path you walk is with God makes it much easier to walk.

Birthday

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My birthday was the other day and it got me thinking. I am incredibly grateful for each and every single day I wake up. I know everyone doesn’t get to do the things that they have or that I have. I know some people don’t have the people that they have in their lives and I am extremely lucky to still have my parents and my family involved in my life.

I think after a certain age, you stop actually counting as you go up, but you are incredibly more blessed and thankful. You concentrate more on the things that you do have and not the things that you don’t have.

You think of all the ways that you have survived, the battles that you fought and still walked away. With scars and sweat and blood dripping down, it made no difference because you still walked away stronger.

Life is too short to be anything but happy and filled with gratitude. Just because you don’t think God exists or is working in your life doesn’t mean that he isn’t. God is always working in your life. God is always blessing you sometimes it’s just not the way that you expect things to be. So as I go to another year, hopefully with God‘s blessing. I hope I’m able to do all the things that I wanna do and all the things he wants me to do. I want to show him as my greatest joy in my life because God has always and will always be my greatest love

I can’t do anything if God doesn’t give me the strength the will and the power to do it. I owe all of the blessings I have to my Lord and Savior. So as I reflect on the year that has passed and the year that’s coming I hope and pray that this be the year that God grant me the one thing I’m asking for. But either which way my life is in his hand and it’s all in his timing. ~~always, Emma~~

Summertime

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My summer has been good extremely busy season. The dogs are roaring in and out so very busy time for me. Though it is a busy time I do get to enjoy the beauty of summer, then bbqs, the flies that are everywhere, the lantern flies that seem to grow bigger each year. The flowers, the birds, the ants that want invade Luna’s living area. The heatwave, the air conditioning that I sleep so well in, my room is like a freezer.

There are so many good things and bad things but most of all I am grateful. Regardless of the bugs and the heat the summer is beautiful. It reminds us that nothing last forever and the season will become cold and dark again. So enjoy the moment or season you are in now. It won’t last but make the best of the season and be grateful for it.

You never know what is around the corner of life. So take time out today to thank God for this beautiful day. As they say time doesn’t stop and is completely unforgiving to anyone. So take time to be in the moment and sit in gratitude. ~~always, Emma~~

C Dramas

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I am absolutely in love with C dramas. I know many are obsessed with K dramas and even though they do have a special place in my heart the C dramas are just so grand. The amount of details in the costumes and set pieces make American cinema look like crap. 

I know I might get crap for that but let’s be honest. Any show on Disney+, Amazon or HBO(Max) can’t compare. I heard one YouTuber say she hates the C dramas because the graphics are just unrealistic. I thought to myself while watching her spew her nonsense “wow girl you really need to watch the rings of power”. That thing was so bad and I bet China didn’t have no where near the budget of rings of power on any project.

I just absolutely love the creativity they put into the different series. I love how there aren’t sex scenes in every single shot. I don’t have to see fake boobs or an ass run across my screen. It’s almost like they let your imagination take over while the couple kisses.

Somethings are better left without us having to watch the couple actually have sex. I cannot explain how bad American culture has become. Every single actress has big lips, frozen faces and perfect boobs. I am hoping there will be a shift and I won’t have to deal with it but I doubt that will happen anytime soon.

The days of the breakfast club or sixteen candles are long gone and don’t worry, you will constantly be reminded every single time.

Getting back to my love for the C dramas. I do love how they make an effort to make the stories interesting and yes I am happy to live in the fantasy world even for a brief moment.

I know the actors are treated differently and I know there is a whole bunch of pressure on them constantly. Recently that happened in my k drama world with Kim Soo Hyun and the accusations he faced.

For those that don’t know he was accused of doing something through hearsay and basically cancelled. Lucky for him his fans were not willing to allow him to be cancelled just on hearsay. (Yes I am one of those fans, I stand with him also.) Which by the way if you believe every single woman please don’t follow me I am NOT that girl. I know exactly how vicious women can be.

The set pieces are always grand, the costumes are always beautiful. It’s almost like watching a movie but instead it’s a series of 30-40 episodes of the whole story. Many are based on either Chinese literature, books or web toons. One great example of this is an older series called Love between the Devil and Fairy.

This wonderful piece has Dylan Wang which I think is such a cutie. Too young for me but he definitely is yummy in his Devil costume, or I should call him, Moon Supreme. Again the graphics aren’t perfect and yes they might be a little cheesy for some viewers but I absolutely love it.

It’s like watching the Terminator. Yeah it might look old and a little cheesy with the graphics but I can honestly say none of the movies have ever been better than the first one and second one. Again might be cheesy but it’s perfect.

It’s funny how far the graphics have come yet the stories have become such garbage. Again why I love my C dramas. I know we will never be able to get the charm and beauty of the 80’s cinema or even music for that case,back. But having these fantastic series that are epic and unique have given me hope.

I love diving into a good book and the characters leave me in awe. Movies and tv shows used to do that, they don’t anymore. It’s all remakes, diversity, pushing some stupid message, and the stories are just crap.

Hence why I fell in love with my C dramas and look forward to watching more of them. China might not be perfect but they definitely are doing something right and it’s called C dramas. Thank you China for your service in helping this American girl forget the crappy movies and actors in my land. Your faithful viewer, Emma.

PS: don’t start doing anything with diversity, women power or gender identity you will lose me so fast!!!

To the One with No Name

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I don’t think about you anymore. I know it’s hard for you to comprehend. I no longer care to have the same worthless conversations about my flaws and shortcomings. I am not perfect never pretended to be anything other than myself.

You are the one that pretended to be someone you aren’t. So I go to bed with my conscience completely clear. I don’t pretend to be something I am not.

I am a difficult person to love and even more difficult to understand. I am fiercely loyal and willing to move mountains for those whom I love. I am upfront and don’t lie about my feelings. I am not fake and will never try to fit into a role because someone else thinks I should. I have my own personal opinions about politics. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Saviour, I will never apologize for that.

I am completely confident in myself. I know I am constantly growing and learning from my mistakes and experiences in life. I can’t apologize for the past because it doesn’t exist for me. I know you can’t understand that and I won’t try to explain it.

I used to think maybe one day you would realize that. That I would always be there for you even in the darkest times of life. But I have mourned our relationship and have buried it.

Just as the dead cannot speak, we move on. The future is before us, will our paths cross again maybe, maybe not. Either way I hold no grudges towards you. You are in very long list of memories or times I no longer visit. Tucked away like a bookmark in a page of a book I will never read again. Always~Emma~

Surrounded

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Even while sitting by people whom you love doesn’t change the fact they don’t see you. Doesn’t matter how many times you have spoken to them you are still invisible.

I am used to people being this way around me. Doesn’t change how much it still hurts. While also making me stronger for each and every single encounter that comes along.

People surround themselves with people just to stop the silence. But I find in the silence I am more comfortable. Is that good thing? I don’t really have the answer for that. I do it makes me more comfortable in who I am and not whom others expect me to be.

It’s extremely important to learn about yourself while also learning to be comfortable around others. Life is never going to go your way. So it’s best to learn how much you care and how much you don’t.

That doesn’t mean closing everyone off. We need people in our lives. We are built for community. So learning to be alone and learning to be comfortable around others in silence is also good.

One must learn that sometimes just being there can be a blessing. Never stop being the person God made you. Never stop growing and learning from the life He has given you. Smile and filled with gratitude always. ~Emma~

Hope

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It should never shock me how cruel people can be but somehow it always shocks me. In the times we live in, it’s extremely easy to become complacent with our environment. One can become completely desensitized at every thing around them. No matter how evil or horrific the stories we hear, we still live our lives unchanged. Getting up each morning, and moving through life like it’s just another day.

Each morning I create a vlog. I post it on YouTube, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook. To everyone else it seems dumb and stupid to post the same greeting each time. It goes “Good morning you wonderful amazing beautiful people I hope you woke up thanking God for the wonderful day He has bestowed on upon you.”

Each day it’s the same I change it up but it’s mostly the same greeting each day. I just want to spread words of comfort to anyone who may come across my story. I don’t care if they subscribe, like, or even care about me. I want them to remember to thank God for the beautiful day of life God has given them.

No matter how cruel and evil the world we might live in. I want everyone to start the day with a grateful heart. No matter how small it might be, it will always make a difference in someone else’s day. I might not be the biggest person on TikTok, YouTube or any other platform but for me making those videos not only helps me, they help to speak to others.

Just a simple post to remind others you are not alone. You might feel alone. You might feel lost. You might feel like complete 💩. You might feel helpless. You might feel hopeless. I once felt that way and with each post I hope anyone that comes across them feels my hope. I know I can’t change the world but hopefully they can feel my hope through the screen.

So as I write this I pray that whoever may come across this may find God. God is my hope without Him I would be nothing. He gave me hope when I felt nothing. He gave me hope when I had given up. He gave hope when I declared that my life was worth nothing. He gave me hope and I pray He bestows every single person that comes across my videos or this post, with HOPE.

Times may not always be good but with God there is always hope. So even if every one is cruel and evil, hope for better day. ~Emma~

Pain & Suffering

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What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

Suffering and pain have helped me to grow the most in life. From not getting married after being proposed to so many times, having no kids, to not even get into relationship for years after the darkest sickest time in my life.

It is through suffering and pain we learn the most about ourselves. In the midst of that darkness, I learned that not giving up makes you stronger.

Many years of absolute darkness, suffering and pain gave me a new perspective. Living in the present was developed after years of struggle with the past. But nothing is more powerful than being able to suffer and changing your life.

Learning to let go of things one can’t change and learning to grow into a better version.

I am incredibly grateful to have been able to go through so many difficult times. If I never experienced that suffering, I would not be the person I am now. I’m grateful to God to have let me suffer so one day I could shine bright.

Blessings are the fruit of life. They are to be enjoyed throughout the bitterness and sweetness of life.~Emma~



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It’s 3:23 AM in the morning, I can’t sleep. My head is pounding and I have a very bad nasal infection I think or sinus infection. I haven’t made any videos since last Friday because I’ve been sick. Hopefully trying to cure this naturally will get me better in the end. I’ve decided this time. I am not taking any antibiotics but instead I’m going to use nothing but natural healing remedies to try to get me to get better.

I’ve spent time in the sauna with essential oils trying to break up the mucus in my chest and sinuses. My head is stuffy, feel like I can only breathe one side of my nose. Being in the sauna has worked tremendously, but unfortunately, it’s taking a lot longer for me to feel better. I have pretty much lost my voice. It’s very raspy and it hurts when I talk. But I am hoping for a good outcome in the end. So while I take some time out to just let my body heal I hope you have a wonderful amazing week.

I know it’s Tuesday morning, but I’m writing this while I lie in bed waiting to fall asleep, hoping I can sleep well tonight. I hope your Tuesday is a wonderful, beautiful blessed day and week. ~Emma~

Letting you in

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What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

The thing I am scared to do the most is to allow people into my heart. Time after time, I have a lot of people in my heart, but never really given my heart away. I built this wall around myself. I know it’s been there. Maybe it’s protecting myself from the bad things that I have experienced.

But as I’ve grown more comfortable being myself, I’ve also learned that in order to truly have a good relationship with another person, you open yourself and be willing to get hurt.

As the years have gone by, I’ve learned to understand what I like about a man while also learning to be more open, act like a grownup and learning a relationship is a partnership you give and take but always have each other’s backs. I wanna be honest, I wanna connect intellectually. I want to feel more than just a connection.

I want him to teach me new things while also learning how to grow together as one. This has been a scary thought for many years. I have thought I had fallen but the truth is I always hid a piece of myself and was never really honest. I hope the day comes I can find someone to be myself around.