sex – Emma the Mizfit

What’s your definition of romantic?

I like to think that we all have a little bit of romantic side in us. For me personally the definition of romantic varies probably from others. Romantic isn’t laying on beach at sunset, or taking a long walk holding hands with someone. It doesn’t involve dinner though that is nice don’t get me wrong, all of that is nice. But being romantic for me is more of a man doing something completely unexpected. Something as simple as cooking one of my favorite meals when I am in one of my moods. Telling me how beautiful I am when I feel like complete crap. Giving me kisses on the back of my neck as he slides his arms around my waist. Going out of his way to make me feel wanted and needed in his life. Watching a movie at home while his fingers run up and down my arms because he needs to be touching me. I guess romance for me is more of showing little actions more than just roses, dinner at a fancy restaurant, or buying me some expensive jewelry. You don’t have to be wealthy to show your love nor do you need wealth to be romantic. It’s something you do because you love that person and value them in your life. You want to show them you know their favorite song, dance in the middle of the living room with them because to you that person is someone precious to you. Romance is something that cannot be bought it’s something that must come from inside you. I know when someone loves me and when someone tells me they love me. It’s in the actions that each one takes that shows the difference. But that’s just my thoughts on it.

My dearest love,

I know these words will find you one day, after I have long forgotten the way you taste. But in order to let you go I must tell you how much of my mind you once held in your hands. My love for you was one of the purest forms of lust, you will never get to know. For you were driven by the need for wealth, greed and to be so the great. Never knowing, you were the greatest to me and wealth is a matter of the value you place on someone’s heart. Most people search the world all their lives for the devotion I was willing to give you. But you felt your calling was bigger than what we could have had. As sadness fills my heart I still wonder what might have been if you had made the right choices. Maybe that’s the one of the things we will never truly know. It is true life spins us in different circles and love doesn’t pay bills or feed you but my sweet love, living the life you have now is not living. Well, what does selfishness, greed, loveless relationships, meaningless sex, drugs, alcohol, or the endless admiration, truly cost? The only thing that life brings is a huge hole inside yourself, that you are constantly trying to fill with anything that will give instant gratification. The problem with instant gratification is just that, it doesn’t last, at the end of the rush and when the dust settles you are left empty and hollowed inside. Thinking to yourself what am I missing? I have money, women, houses, cars, I can travel anywhere, I am doing good in the world, I am fighting for those without a voice, I am fighting for the world, what am I missing???? I would say me but to be honest the truth is your missing God. I myself, my sweet love, found myself in the very same dilemma you find yourself in now. I had everything, meaningless sex, empty relationships, men giving me what I want, money, anything could have been mine. But I lost myself in that life and found the only thing that I was truly missing was God. So, as these words reach you and you find yourself wondering who is this from? Could this be from the unicorn I have searched for so long, the missing piece I need to be complete? The unicorn writes to you to say, I can never make you happy! For you have no idea what love truly is, as I myself did not know what love was till the day I found God. Through finding Him, I found what love truly is and I was able to see my love for you was not love. Just a desire to be with you, to kiss you, to touch you, to feel your hands in mine, my legs wrapped around you, to have tasted you, to have smelled you, to have run my hands through your hair, to have had you inside me, nothing more than desire. An animal instinct to be with you, a carnal demand. The truth of the matter is I would have gotten bored and tossed you aside like the others. The relationship I have with God has freed me to be the person I am today. Compassionate to others, willing to let my feelings be hurt so others feel better, setting my dreams aside to let another shine, to love others with no expectations of receiving love in return, and seeing the world for all it is. My eyes were opened, I enjoy fighting with my family, making up with them, laughing with them, being passionate about things people think are completely crazy and I love being different. I love being me with all my scars inside and out. I love sitting on my bed at night staring into the ceiling speaking to the Creator of the Universe, and knowing He is there listening to every word even when I rant for an hour. My endless need to find the truth and knowing in my heart only God holds the answers I seek. If there is anything I wish you to take from this is the book of Psalms. During the worse parts of my dark life that book was my life line. And to this day the book of Psalms is my favorite book of the Bible. King David was a very bad man but regardless of being such a bad man Jesus refers to David as the one after his heart. Even with King David’s flaws God saw into his heart and reading that book you can feel David’s pain, his passion, his sadness and his love for God. As I started writing this I had no intention of saying any of this but God is at the center of my heart and I can’t help it, He is My Lord. So, as I end this hoping one day these words will reach you. I pray you do find Him. There is no secret way of finding God, there is no number you can call, there is no one single place to find Him. Get on your knees and call to Him. Tefillah which means prayer in Hebrew. Prayer is the only way to talk to God. On your knees cry out to God open your heart completely to Him and you will see Him show up. You have to be willing to listen to His Words, not what you want to hear. For His Words might not be what you want to hear and most of the time His Plans are never what you think your plans should be. Open your heart to Him, my sweet, I pray this finds one day.

Nothing but Love,

The Unicorn

Written by: Emmanuelle-Rose Grace