Tag: rainbows

Advice to my teen self…

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What advice would you give to your teenage self?

The advice I would give myself as a teenager would be, “don’t allow anyone to control you. That starts by learning to not react to others. Learn self discipline and learn to control yourself. Learn that you can’t change anyone. Learn that you can’t control the circumstances of life. Learn to grow from each situation. Each thing that happens in life will be for a reason, even if you can’t see that now. Allowing your emotions to cloud your mind, leads to you making choices you might never have chosen if you had a clear mind. So allow yourself time to reflect. Allow yourself time to hurt. Allow yourself time to be alone, away from others. Allow yourself to be comfortable in the quietness of yourself. Never give anyone the power over you and that can only start by controlling yourself. Most of all don’t forget that no matter what, you are never truly alone. God will always be with you.”

FaceTime

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The most important invention in your lifetime is…

FaceTime it allows you to see your loved ones no matter where they are in the world. Though it will never be the same as holding and hugging the people you love. It gives you the opportunity to speak to them daily. It better than cellphones. Because again you can be with the person see their face enjoy the time together even though you are in different parts of the country or even the world. It’s definitely the greatest invention during my time.

Scars Fade

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How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?

Each life event we go through as human beings we either learn and grow from that experience. Or we learn nothing and stay in a perpetual state of victimhood. We are all struggling, fighting our own demons or just simply fighting life. It is through these trials that we become stronger and learn from our past mistakes. Not taking the time to learn from our past mistakes will allow us to continue making the same mistakes over and over again. I have learned in life that we must change our perspective, focus on the goals we wish to obtain and let go of the things that we cannot change. Doing this, I have allowed myself to become stronger and not defined by my past. This has also allowed me to be open about my feelings, my sickness and not hide who I am. It’s given me great strength. It has me freed me to be myself. Growing constantly into a better version of myself. It has given me the confidence that I need to be comfortable in my own skin. I may not be perfect, I am extremely flawed and extremely chaotic but I have learned there’s only one like me. Through time life events are like scars, they never really go away, but they fade. They stay a part of you as a lesson, but overtime you can hardly see them.

White Flag by Dido

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I know you think that I shouldn’t still love you

Or tell you that

But if I didn’t say it, well I’d still have felt it

Where’s the sense in that?

I promise I’m not trying to make your life harder

Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship

And I won’t put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I’m in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and

Destruction to come back again

And I caused nothing but trouble

I understand if you can’t talk to me again

And if you live by the rules of it’s over

Then I’m sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship

And I won’t put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I’m in love and always will be

And when we meet

Which I’m sure we will

All that was there

Will be there still

I’ll let it pass

And hold my tongue

And you will think

That I’ve moved on

I will go down with this ship

And I won’t put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I’m in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship

And I won’t put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I’m in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship

And I won’t put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag abobe my door

I’m in love and always will be

Farm life

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What would you do if you won the lottery?

I would buy a huge farm where I can grow my own food, have lots of dogs, chickens and other animals. Hire people to help me run the farm. I would rescue of bunch of the dogs from the shelter. Yeah even save some of the them cats at the shelter. Build a grand house where my whole family can live. But also build different guest houses on the property so they can stay, while also having privacy for themselves. Though while staying they would have to do tasks around the farm to earn their stay. We would all have to eat dinner together as one family. I know it’s crazy coming from a girl that grew up in the city but honestly I think that would be the best life.

Be the light

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What is your mission?

To find the path God wants me on. I want to be an explain of His love and His patience. He has given me so much I want to repay that by showing what He had done for me. I want to be the light He gave me in my darkest moments. Also to bring awareness to the mental health issues and how is the only answer.

Greatest gift…

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What is the greatest gift someone could give you?

Love me the way I am. Accept me the way I am. Be with me regardless of the chaos that I am. Stand strong with me and hold me up when I can’t. That would be the greatest gift for me.

By Olivia Rodrigo

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“traitor”

Brown guilty eyes and little white lies

Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew

That you talked to her, maybe did even worse

I kept quiet so I could keep you

And ain’t it funny

How you ran to her

The second that we called it quits?

And ain’t it funny

How you said you were friends?

Now it sure as hell don’t look like it

You betrayed me

And I know that you’ll never feel sorry

For the way I hurt, yeah

You talked to her

When we were together

Loved you at your worst

But that didn’t matter

It took you two weeks

To go off and date her

Guess you didn’t cheat

But you’re still a traitor

Now you bring her around

Just to shut me down

Show her off like she’s a new trophy

And I know if you were true

There’s no damn way that you

Could fall in love with somebody that quickly

Ain’t it funny

All the twisted games

All the questions you used to avoid?

Ain’t it funny?

Remember I brought her up

And you told me I was paranoid

You betrayed me

And I know that you’ll never feel sorry

For the way I hurt, yeah

You talked to her

When we were together

Loved you at your worst

But that didn’t matter

It took you two weeks

To go off and date her

Guess you didn’t cheat

But you’re still a traitor

God, I wish that you had thought this through

Before I went and fell in love with you

When she’s sleeping in the bed we made

Don’t you dare forget about the way

You betrayed me

‘Cause I know that you’ll never feel sorry

For the way I hurt, yeah

You talked to her

When we were together

You gave me your word

But that didn’t matter

It took you two weeks

To go off and date her

Guess you didn’t cheat

But you’re still

You’re still a traitor

Yeah, you’re still a traitor

God, I wish that you had thought this through

Before I went and fell in love with you

Pro life

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How have your political views changed over time?

As I have gotten older I have become more conservative. When I was younger g I wouldn’t say I was super liberal but somewhat. As time has passed my views changed. Especially when it came to abortion. The fact that the baby isn’t even considered a human being makes me extremely sad. Many women never get the chance to have a child of their own and you have some women just aborting babies. I am sorry if it comes off as judgmental but the killing of an innocent child should never be celebrated or praised as a good thing. Becoming a warrior for Christ meant defending the innocent. I don’t wish harm on others especially those that have committed such acts. That is between them and God. But as long as I have breath I will continue advocating as a pro-lifer and one that advocates for the mentally ill.

Myself

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When are you most happy?

I am the most happiest when I am able to be myself comfortably and completely without having to constantly say I am sorry for being myself. It’s not easy having bipolar, I tend to repeat things and go in circles a lot. I use coping skills and try to constantly remind myself to not do it but I do fail at times. So it’s nice when I can just be myself without worrying about wasting someone’s time. I can actually say I don’t get to be that happy most of the time. The world is constantly asking for people to be themselves but the truth is when it comes to mental health it’s still a topic no one truly wants to understand. Instead they would rather ignore the person or the problem. So I am forced a lot of the time to not speak in order to contain myself. Even around the people I feel the most comfortable with, I am still forced to not be myself. I guess I hope one day I can find someone I can be myself with. If that day comes cool if it doesn’t it’s because it was never meant to be. Someone told me a few days ago faith is my thing not theirs, and yes it is. I believe the Creator of the Universe has a purpose for each person. He removes things in your life for a reason. Is it faith to believe that the path I walk on, is something I might have to walk alone without a man possibly. But I am never alone, I have God with me so it’s okay to accept that journey with just Him by my side. Because regardless if no one ever can truly make feel comfortable or love me being myself God does. He loves everything about me and accepts me the way I am. For me that is all I need.