Tag: rainbows

Pain & Suffering

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What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

Suffering and pain have helped me to grow the most in life. From not getting married after being proposed to so many times, having no kids, to not even get into relationship for years after the darkest sickest time in my life.

It is through suffering and pain we learn the most about ourselves. In the midst of that darkness, I learned that not giving up makes you stronger.

Many years of absolute darkness, suffering and pain gave me a new perspective. Living in the present was developed after years of struggle with the past. But nothing is more powerful than being able to suffer and changing your life.

Learning to let go of things one can’t change and learning to grow into a better version.

I am incredibly grateful to have been able to go through so many difficult times. If I never experienced that suffering, I would not be the person I am now. I’m grateful to God to have let me suffer so one day I could shine bright.

Blessings are the fruit of life. They are to be enjoyed throughout the bitterness and sweetness of life.~Emma~

Scary moment today

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Today the scariest thing happened. I was eating across from my mom and she suddenly started turning white. I immediately ran over to her grabbed her hands and asked her what was wrong. She wasn’t answering me. It’s like she was staring at me but like nothing I said she could hear. Of course in full panic I tried again, mom what is wrong please tell me? Are you having a stroke please mom tell me? Tears running down my eyes I kept grabbing her hands and face asking please tell me what is wrong? I started saying please just breathe calm down.

Mom, just breathe take deep breaths. I gave her water and she started drinking it. It seems she was chocking and she didn’t even know. She was able to swallow what was in her throat with the water. I was so scared the panic in her eyes the panic that overtook me was absolutely frightening.

I know one day my mom won’t be here and my dad won’t be here. I just pray that’s not anytime soon. Today was such a scary event and I just I was so scared. I know I’m extremely lucky but I still have both my parents when so many don’t. I’m just not ready to let them go not yet. And I pray to God that time doesn’t come anytime soon because that really scares me.

Thank God everything worked out and she’s fine but it really did scare me. I am so grateful to God that I could hug my mom tonight, smell her hair, hold her in my arms, kiss her and say good night.

Just a friendly reminder to live each day like it’s your last. To love like you will never love again. And cherish each moment because you will never know when that moment becomes a memory. ~Always Emma.~

Parents

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Who are your favorite people to be around?

My favorite people to be around is my mom, my sister and my dad. I love hanging around my parents. As they get older, you start to realize that they’re not gonna be around here forever. So you start to treasure the beautiful moments you still have with them they might not last, but at least they’ll be more memories forever.

I know one day it will just be me and my sister, but for now I get to enjoy having the pleasure of both my parents still being around. Though we might fight, and we might disagree on a lot of things. The older they get, they turn into stubborn toddlers. I love them so much and I wouldn’t change them for the world.

Being rich isn’t just a monetary action. I consider myself lucky, and I consider myself extremely rich in the blessings of life. Though it has not always been an easy walk in the park and though we may struggle with the economics in life. Our home is filled with love. Our home is filled with memories. Our home is filled with the joy and laughter that we share together as a family. I know I’m lucky and I thank God every single day when I wake up.



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It’s 3:23 AM in the morning, I can’t sleep. My head is pounding and I have a very bad nasal infection I think or sinus infection. I haven’t made any videos since last Friday because I’ve been sick. Hopefully trying to cure this naturally will get me better in the end. I’ve decided this time. I am not taking any antibiotics but instead I’m going to use nothing but natural healing remedies to try to get me to get better.

I’ve spent time in the sauna with essential oils trying to break up the mucus in my chest and sinuses. My head is stuffy, feel like I can only breathe one side of my nose. Being in the sauna has worked tremendously, but unfortunately, it’s taking a lot longer for me to feel better. I have pretty much lost my voice. It’s very raspy and it hurts when I talk. But I am hoping for a good outcome in the end. So while I take some time out to just let my body heal I hope you have a wonderful amazing week.

I know it’s Tuesday morning, but I’m writing this while I lie in bed waiting to fall asleep, hoping I can sleep well tonight. I hope your Tuesday is a wonderful, beautiful blessed day and week. ~Emma~

Letting you in

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What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

The thing I am scared to do the most is to allow people into my heart. Time after time, I have a lot of people in my heart, but never really given my heart away. I built this wall around myself. I know it’s been there. Maybe it’s protecting myself from the bad things that I have experienced.

But as I’ve grown more comfortable being myself, I’ve also learned that in order to truly have a good relationship with another person, you open yourself and be willing to get hurt.

As the years have gone by, I’ve learned to understand what I like about a man while also learning to be more open, act like a grownup and learning a relationship is a partnership you give and take but always have each other’s backs. I wanna be honest, I wanna connect intellectually. I want to feel more than just a connection.

I want him to teach me new things while also learning how to grow together as one. This has been a scary thought for many years. I have thought I had fallen but the truth is I always hid a piece of myself and was never really honest. I hope the day comes I can find someone to be myself around.

Can’t sleep

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I am writing this at three in the morning. Today was a really good day. I can’t complain, but I can’t sleep. I worked out, went to PT, did acupuncture, it really was a good day. I mean every day that you’re alive is a good day isn’t it?

Unfortunately sleeping is my biggest problem right now. My dreams have been filled with nightmares of darkness. I get the same ones over and over.

Most of my dreams are centered around seeing things I shouldn’t see. I am usually walking in the city. There are flames and fires everywhere, there are dead bodies all over the place. Everything is destroyed in that and there I am just walking in the midst of all that chaos and destruction. It’s a dream that I’ve had over and over again. I don’t know why I have it yet I dream it over and over again.

Sometimes I wonder if they will ever stop. Right after I start thinking that I get like five dreams in a row crazy dreams. It’s funny because so many people I ask “do you dream” and their answer is always “no”. When I go to bed the moment I fall asleep I am dreaming all night from dream to dream to dream. Hopefully tonight I get to sleep, even if it’s dream and dream and dream.

I hope tonight you have wonderful dreams always ~Emma~

Liberation day 

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Today was the Inauguration of President Trump. After four years under the Biden administration it finally feels good to be free from him. This isn’t about being a Republican or Democrat it was about being American. I was so tired of trying to explain why I am proud being American.

People from every nation are proud of their homeland, this is my homeland. I am not embarrassed where I come from nor should I be. People are taught to hate themselves for what? I can never understand why you would listen to anyone tell you to hate yourself.

As a person that suffered a devastating severe depression that left me in a mind prison for 10 years. When I was finally freed, thanks to God, it took me forever to feel like myself. As I grow each day not looking back at the past, I learn to be more comfortable in myself.

So again why would I listen to anyone that tells me I need to hate myself. Not only hate myself but also I need to fit in the boxes they decided to make. No thank you, I like being myself. I don’t need to fit into the box you have created for me to live in.

As a Christian I love everyone but I don’t need to be around everyone, nor do I have to accept everyone. Just like everyone doesn’t have to love me or accept me. It’s God I follow, it’s God that I have to answer to, it’s God who saved me from the darkness and it was God that saved Trump.

Was it to save the United States from the insanity it was going through, I do believe that. Regardless of how, Trump was saved to be used by God, that was His plan.

In the end I am just absolutely happy the madness of 100 genders, offending people by just being myself is done. So for me today isn’t just another Inauguration Day, for me it’s a day to celebrate my country. I may have ancestors from Spain but my country is America, my blood is American and my heart is for America.

So to all my fellow patriots I hope you have a beautiful night celebrating winning our country back. Make America Great Again!

Mom

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Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

Being around my mom I have always felt loved. Even when I disappointed her. Even when I fought with her. Even when I was rebellious teen she never stop loving me. She has showed me what unconditional love means.

Dogs

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What is your favorite animal?

My favorite animal by far is a dog. I know I am a little biased on this particular subject but I can’t help myself. Dogs love you no matter what. Treat them badly they love you, hurt them they love you, ignore them they love you.

As a dog sitter myself having dogs constantly coming and going makes me enjoy life. These dogs spend days or a day here but they remember.

I will be walking in the park with my sister and a dog I haven’t seen in months will pull his whole family to come see us.

They are such remarkable creatures. They absolutely with their complete heart and that is why I will always favor dogs.

I also believe dogs can sense evil. So again another reason to love your four legged bestie.

Happy New Year

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I am praying everyone has a beautiful blessed new year. May God bless you all with love, joyous moments with the people you love, and a healthy year ahead. Stay well my darlings. ~Emma~