I wish I could write from a place of positivity but life is harsh and cruel. I am grateful for waking up this morning. I am also grateful for the tough lessons I must still learn. They are painful lessons but they must be learned, to make a better person. Yesterday, I prayed on some things and this morning I got the answers. It’s not a choice I wanted to make, but sometimes it’s something we must do in order to find ourselves on the right path. There is a saying about dangerous prayers, if you ask God for something what you get might not be the answer you asked for. The answer isn’t always what we want when we ask for God’s help. It’s for Him to take control and if we truly believe that He is in control we must listen to what He is telling us. It might not be what we wanted but it will be the path God wanted us to go. These are what they call dangerous prayers because He will answer the prayer. In my own life I have been blessed to have some of my own dangerous prayers answered. Some in a good way that I was so excited and other times I lost people I loved or doors that closed. I have asked for others in those dangerous prayers and have seen them take a different path right before my eyes. God is working in our lives, we just need to be able to surrender and give Him full control. It might not be what we wanted but the truth is we don’t know the future and if He pulls something from your life it’s because He needs you somewhere else. Like I started this blog, life is harsh and cruel and I want to be the positive hope you see. But in honesty even my hopes are broken when what I want isn’t something for me. We must learn to accept the disappointment and learn to become stronger from the lesson. Not everyone is meant to be a chapter in your story. Some are just meant to be side characters or tiny little paragraphs on one page. They are not meant for more than the lesson you learn and they serve that purpose. It is up to us to learn the lesson and grow from that. I hope you all have a beautiful blessed week. ~Emma~
Tag: prayer
Sleepless nights
Every night I head to bed, take my medication to help me sleep but recently haven’t been able to sleep the whole night. I used to think it was the stress I am under. I am doing a lot of different projects at once and that could be the reason. On the other hand I was sleeping just fine a couple of months ago. So what changed? At this very moment I have no clue I fell asleep about 12:30-1:00am. I was tired and had a long day taking care of the dogs. So again I was tired, played my games and headed to bed. Now here I am at 4:04 am in the morning wondering how is this my new normal. I went from sleeping the whole night to sleeping just a few hours. Like I said fell asleep around 12-1 and I woke up about 3:30 half hour later I am still trying to fall back asleep. I really can’t shut my mind off and I praying God helps me. Let’s hope. I will try to head to bed again hoping this time will be the moment I fall asleep. I will let you know how good that works tomorrow. Nite ~Emma~
Grateful
How do you express your gratitude?
Each morning I wake up and thank God for allowing me to wake up. I ask Him to grant me the strength to face the day. At the end of the day before heading to bed I thank God for all the little things. I also thank Him for the big things but especially the little things that I might not give thanks for in my prayer. The way I see it is God is constantly in your day, every single moment of your day, so ofc He knows what you go through. So I might thank Him for one particular thing because I forget when praying at night. So I make sure to include the little things that have slipped my mind and express my gratitude for Him getting me through that moment. We all get overwhelmed by life, other people in our lives, feelings, issues that nag us, things we wish we could change but can’t because it’s beyond our own power. These things make us feel sad, depressed or even just overwhelmed with stress. It is those moments that I lean on God the most. This weekend I was completely hurt by an individual that went out of their way to hurt me. Was it necessary, no it made me feel like crap. I prayed and asked God to give me the strength to not get angry to just move on and He helped me. Am I still hurt of course I am but I am also learning and growing, trying to become a better person. I can’t do that alone, no one can. Even when you are having the worst day in the world and your life is completely in chaos, there is still something to be grateful for. You just need to find it and learn to practice being grateful. It is one of my coping skills and it doesn’t always work but learning to be thankful even for waking up in the morning is a start. It’s something I try to live by and it’s something I try to teach others to use as a coping skill. A thankful heart is one that can always find hope even in the midst of darkness.
Have a blessed weekend
I know what I say doesn’t really matter to many people but this week has been very disheartening for me. Watching people losing their jobs(Tucker), rejoicing in a divorce(Steven Crowder) and finding some sort of sick pleasure in being right. While these things might seem trivial to some it has weighed on my heart. Not because of the actions of the individuals this has happened to but the people responding to these events. I used to think people can be cruel but held onto hope. But this week I was reminded that maybe there isn’t hope for a future. Maybe our time has come to end on this planet and it will all be over soon. I want to believe people can still be good and kind but the more I see people behave the less I believe humans are capable of being good at all. I take comfort in knowing that Jesus Christ died for this very reason. We aren’t good, we are all bad and it is through the blood of Jesus Christ that we will truly be made clean. I no longer think man can redeem themselves at all. The darkness chocking this earth is too great and instead of fighting it, many have just surrendered to it. Allowing themselves to become part of the darkness, part of the sin. They revel in its power and enjoy condemning others while not even looking at themselves in the mirror. None of us are good and we are all hypocrites but there is a difference between having pleasure in your sin and having remorse. I will not call on Christians or anyone else out because in the end we are each responsible for our own journey and what we did on this earth with our time. I do pray that this Sabbath many take time to be in the Presence of God. Not dwelling on others but asking God to change the sinfulness we carry. Instead of being the ugliest parts of the human race we become the beautiful things God created. Ask God to fill your heart with His love, His Holy Spirit and that He may guide you to be the light for His Glory not your own glory but His. I really hope everyone has a beautiful blessed weekend. May you all find peace in the chaos of this world. As always be the change you want to see in the world. Don’t be like everyone else, learn to be the light God made you to be, and shine in the darkness. ~Emma~
Life lessons
This week has been extremely hard and long. Super busy working and still somehow getting sucked into drama that just shouldn’t include me. As I sit on this Sabbath in a state of rest reminding myself that God only allows what we can handle. We forget that we are made stronger by each and every single event in our life. I know it might seem like a struggle, it sure as hell does feel that way for me. But we must never give up. We must keep fighting. So today I ask you to take time for yourself. Take time to reflect, to mediate, to pray, to speak to God, be one with yourself. Allow healing to come into you and allow God’s power to strengthen you to keep fighting. Because you are loved and you are not alone. Have a beautiful blessed day. ~Emma~
Words to reflect on
Today and everyday
What is the last thing you learned?
You might feel alone but God is always with you.
Small blessings
Hope everyone has a beautiful weekend. Don’t forget the only one stopping you from having a blessed weekend is you. Even small victories and small blessings are to be celebrated.
Just three things
What are three objects you couldn’t live without?
-God
– The Bible
-notebook or paper to write all my thoughts and poems out
Pretending to be okay
Even when people think you are the happiest doesn’t hide the tears in your heart. Even with all the smiles we try to pretend everything is okay, even if we feel like we can’t go on. They say time heals all wounds but it’s hard to believe when your chest is bleeding on the floor. It’s hard to truly believe anyone will ever be by your side, when you look and don’t see a soul around you. I know how hard it is to stay positive and on my down days that is how I feel. That is how I feel at this moment. Completely and utterly useless, it’s hard to pretend to be fine when you feel that way. It’s hard to talk, it’s hard to think, it’s hard to explain, it’s hard to exist. But we cannot give up because the enemy wins. At the end of the day, we need to keep fighting to stay calm and in the light. It is through the light we find a little bit of peace. ~Emma~
Emma the Mizfit 