Today and gone tomorrow will you remember my name.
Will you whisper it to the wind?
Will you shout it from the rooftop?
Will you know what it meant?
Will you remember how I felt?
Will it ever make you mad?
Or will you just be sad?
Time will know the pain but darling will you remember my name?
~Emmanuelle-Rose Grace~
I don’t think about you anymore. I know it’s hard for you to comprehend. I no longer care to have the same worthless conversations about my flaws and shortcomings. I am not perfect never pretended to be anything other than myself.
You are the one that pretended to be someone you aren’t. So I go to bed with my conscience completely clear. I don’t pretend to be something I am not.
I am a difficult person to love and even more difficult to understand. I am fiercely loyal and willing to move mountains for those whom I love. I am upfront and don’t lie about my feelings. I am not fake and will never try to fit into a role because someone else thinks I should. I have my own personal opinions about politics. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Saviour, I will never apologize for that.
I am completely confident in myself. I know I am constantly growing and learning from my mistakes and experiences in life. I can’t apologize for the past because it doesn’t exist for me. I know you can’t understand that and I won’t try to explain it.
I used to think maybe one day you would realize that. That I would always be there for you even in the darkest times of life. But I have mourned our relationship and have buried it.
Just as the dead cannot speak, we move on. The future is before us, will our paths cross again maybe, maybe not. Either way I hold no grudges towards you. You are in very long list of memories or times I no longer visit. Tucked away like a bookmark in a page of a book I will never read again. Always~Emma~
I love You, Lord
Oh, Your mercy never fails me
All my days, I've been held in Your hands
From the moment that I wake up
Until I lay my head
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God
And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God
I love Your voice
You have led me through the fire
And in darkest night You are close like no other
I've known You as a Father
I've known You as a Friend
And I have lived in the goodness of God, yeah
And all my life You have been faithful, oh
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God, yeah
'Cause Your goodness is running after, it's running after me
Your goodness is running after, it's running after me
With my life laid down, I'm surrendered now
I give You everything
'Cause Your goodness is running after, it's running after me, oh-oh
'Cause Your goodness is running after, it's running after me
Your goodness is running after, it's running after me
With my life laid down, I'm surrendered now
I give You everything
'Cause Your goodness is running after, it keeps running after me
And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I'm gonna sing of the goodness of God
I'm gonna sing, I'm gonna sing
Oh, 'cause
'Cause all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I'm gonna sing of the goodness of God
Oh, I'm gonna sing of the goodness of God
Do you have any collections?
I have a collection of journals. I started to write in my first diary at the age of 12. My mom was the one that bought me this little purple diary with a lock on it. After that she would buy me one for Christmas if I asked for one. I would ask for them because it depends how much I wrote. I know right now I have about 24 books. I have also a prayer book, a poem book, dream book, and my love book.
The other side of the world, I still think of you
Coming from two different cultures I still want you
Knowing that it will never be a possibility I still wish for it
Seeing your smile brightens my day
Seeing you laugh, makes me feel
Giddy like I want to play
I dream of the day I get to kiss you
I dream of the day I get to touch you
I dream of your laughter in my ear
My fingers running through your black hair
My hands touching your white pale skin
It’s only in my dreams that I get to see you
It’s only in my dreams that I get to be with you
To hear your laugh, to touch your skin, to feel your lips
The day may never come, that I may never get to do any of these things
But for now, as I fall asleep, I know that I will get to see you there. Good night my sweet Babe
How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?
Each life event we go through as human beings we either learn and grow from that experience. Or we learn nothing and stay in a perpetual state of victimhood. We are all struggling, fighting our own demons or just simply fighting life. It is through these trials that we become stronger and learn from our past mistakes. Not taking the time to learn from our past mistakes will allow us to continue making the same mistakes over and over again. I have learned in life that we must change our perspective, focus on the goals we wish to obtain and let go of the things that we cannot change. Doing this, I have allowed myself to become stronger and not defined by my past. This has also allowed me to be open about my feelings, my sickness and not hide who I am. It’s given me great strength. It has me freed me to be myself. Growing constantly into a better version of myself. It has given me the confidence that I need to be comfortable in my own skin. I may not be perfect, I am extremely flawed and extremely chaotic but I have learned there’s only one like me. Through time life events are like scars, they never really go away, but they fade. They stay a part of you as a lesson, but overtime you can hardly see them.
I try hard to keep up. You have never made it easy so I gave up. Time has lost all its luster and my feelings are dead. I stop caring after learning you can careless. It’s like the quote goes from How I met your mother…
“You may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone’s face, but there’s a third option: you can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone, and you can move forward.” – Ted Mosby
Because of your mother
I can’t seem to forget
That our love is a trembling one
And healthy to my soul
Because of your father
You’ve got a hole in your trust
And when I see you hide it I wish I could
Remove it from your heart
In silence I make promises
I’m lying still in the dark
And because of your peaceful soul
I keep thinking to myself
Don’t, don’t, don’t cry for love
Cry for love
Don’t, don’t, don’t cry for love
Cry for love
Don’t you cry for love
It’s a part of our path
Think about the way
Things were left to be
It’s a raging sea
And colors that you won’t be
Here to see
And it’s just a matter of time
Till they put me in the grave
Till they put you in the grave
So I don’t, don’t, don’t, cry for love
I don’t cry for love
Days
Weeks
Months
Years
Still you managed to make me smile today
It’s been over a year
My thoughts go back in time
To a time we would just laugh
Endless chatters
Sharing secrets
Careless whispers in the night
Song lists from the heart
Music that made us feel connected
Nights falling asleep sounds in our ears
Words that made us express our deepest desires
Though the puzzle never fit
We tried to find ways
Life decided for us
You were right coffee, no one is to blame
Life is to blame
Written by Emmanuelle-Rose Grace
I scream
I yell
Still no one hears me
I shake my hands
I stomp my feet
Still no one hears me
I jump up
I jump down
Still no one sees me
I cry
I die
Still no one can hear or see me
Emma the Mizfit 