Finding my own way…

Are there things you try to practice daily to live a more sustainable lifestyle?

After I became sick I was on many medications that made me gain a lot of weight. Always being thin I had no clue how it felt to gain so much weight. After years later and I started getting better at controlling my moods I also started to control my weight. Seeing how all the weight was gained because of the medications, I was slowly taken off most of them. With my doctor’s approval. I lost so much weight but I am no where near the weight I was before becoming sick. So I spend my time dog sitting(my business) which helps to keep me active. It keeps me walking and constantly moving. It has helped me mentally and physically taking care of the dogs. I eat healthy meals and focused my goal to return to me original weight. It’s harder now that I am older but I refuse to give up. Learning to live life after being sick and learning ways to combat the slide of any mental illness is not easy. It’s a constant battle for me each day. Dog sitting is one example of my many ways of trying to live a sustainable lifestyle. I find different things to keep me growing into a better version of the person I was yesterday while also learning to live a better day today. It’s not easy but I try to keep my focus and just ask God to help me each day. It takes time to learn how to find a balance within yourself. But it can be done, again not easy but totally worth it when you get there. Finding the path to a healthy lifestyle while growing, learning to become a stronger person mentally, emotionally and physically will be beautiful when I reach my goal. As for now I take it one day at a time, one walk at a time, one meal at a time, one coping skill at a time. It’s hard especially when you want to give up when life gets so dark but you must never giveyes up. My number one thing I do each day is thank God for waking me up and I ask to give me the strength and He does. I am still learning to not suffocate people instead enjoy the silence alone. I am trying to learn to take time for myself. I am also trying to learn to allow space for myself for my feelings for my thoughts. While also learning to give people the space that they need. While also learning to give people the space that they need. These are some of the things I do to help me live a sustainable lifestyle. Learning to respect myself and others, and giving time for things to grow. I hope the reading this you can learn something to. Have a beautiful night\day. ~Emma~

Never give up never give in

I am grateful today to be alive. I might be having a really hard month. I am having a good day. Good or bad either way I am grateful to be alive to live even through the pain. Some days might be hard and I have to push myself even harder to keep moving. I will never give up. Today I ask you to find one thing you can find to be grateful about. Whatever that one thing is hold on to it, and don’t let go. Keep fighting no matter how dark everything may seem. You will make it through but only if you don’t give up on yourself. Keep fighting. Have a blessed week. ~Emma~

Cut ties

Stop waiting for people that don’t give a crap about you to accept you. You look for validation from people that should not even be on your radar. So my advice, from my own personal experience is to just move on, do not look back. Whoever is left behind, never deserved to be in your presence. Have a blessed weekend. ~Emma~

? Daily what ?

I know I am loving person. I try and go out of my way to be a kind individual. I know we each are fighting our own internal battle. Sometimes I even find myself going down the rabbit hole of why do we have to go through all this. The mundane things in life, getting up each morning, working all day, eating, bathing and heading to bed to sleep. Why do we have to do all these things? I know how easy it is to ask why, but you won’t get an answer. Many try to tell you what to do or how to feel, these are things that I think pretty much everyone has asked. Honestly I don’t think anyone knows the real answer. I guess today I am feeling a little curious to find out what others think. I know I can’t be the only one that feels that way. Or even questioning why do we have to continue doing the same exact things daily. But I guess these are things we will not know. Either way I hope you have a blessed day. ~Emma~

Know the difference

The best person to be around is someone that listens to you. Someone that accepts you and your crazy ways. One that still takes the extra time to let you know they will always be there for you no matter what. One that you never feel that you are constantly letting down by being yourself. If you find someone like that hold on to them. Because not everyone you meet will be that way in life. You will find many that will judge, cast stones, speak to you like you are stupid and dumb. Those are the ones you avoid. Because those people aren’t friends they are enemies learn the difference. ~Emma~

Quiet Friday

This week has not been a good week. With the loss of my uncle at the start of the week to just a lot going on my mind. Its just been everywhere is pretty hard to explain. It’s hard to find anything positive when we look at our world. So tonight I ask for you to take time for some self care. I don’t care if it’s sitting in a room reading a book, listening to some peaceful music while playing games, just simply take time to calm your mind. It can be extremely easy to fall into bad habits when we lose focus on our goals. It’s easy to become super depressed when there is a loss. You question how fragile life is and why do we have to endure such pain? These are questions we might never find answers to but try to find some sort of peace in this moment. For tomorrow we are not guaranteed to wake up and tell the ones we love that we did love them. So tell them you love them and look in the mirror and say you are loved. You might not believe it, you might find you will never find love. But we can change our mind the more you repeat it, you will change your perspective. Have a beautiful Friday night. May the peace of God fill your hearts. I know it’s not easy but life was never supposed to be easy. Be grateful for this moment and for even being able to read this post. Many blessings to you all. ~Emma~

Till we meet again

Today my uncle passed away surrounded by his loved ones. He was not a perfect man, did many wrong things but the man loved God. His passion for loving The Lord was extraordinary. I didn’t always agree in a lot of his ways, but there is no doubt He loved God and that I respected. He will be missed by all of us. But one day we all be in heaven together again. Laughing and embracing each other reminiscing of a time that past. Though tears sting my eyes my heart is filled with joy. For the pain will subside but the love will be there forever with us. Till we meet again, may God be with you till we meet again. ~Emma~

Happy Mother’s Day

There are many things that be grateful for. On Friday I spoke about not knowing the love of man or knowing how to love in a relationship with a man. With that all said my mom is a superhero. My mother has shown me unconditional love. She has shown me sacrifice, she has taught me the unconditional love that only a mother can give. She has shown me that no matter how much I am wrong or mess up, she will always love me. She has shown me what it is to give your heart and never get what you give in return. A mother’s love is unlike any other love. It is unchanging, it is stronger than anything in life. A mother is one that is willing to give everything to her child and only wants the best for her child. My mother is the best example of what a mom truly is. Though she might disagree with a lot of my life choices, she has always supported me. Mom, I might not say it enough but you are truly an inspiration and I hope I can be half of the amazing woman you are. You are my superhero and you are my rock. Words can never express how much I love you and how much you are appreciated. Always ~Emma~

Happy Mother’s Day to all you amazing Mom’s out there. I hope you have a beautiful blessed day.

Changing my mood

I wish I woke up in a better mood but I am not in a good mood. Unfortunately my mood has been sour but I am trying to change that. Spending some time listening to music, meditate and going to spend my day praying to God. It is through that I will get into a better mood. So I hope your day is blessed with lots of good positive thoughts. ~Emma~

I am the chaos and the chaos is me….

How does one ever truly learn to treat others than not by the people around them? How can a girl learn how a man is to treat her if the men around her weren’t strong or a good example? How can she learn what love looks like when she doesn’t know? Questions I have asked myself a dozen times. I have never truly found love or been loved by a man because I don’t know what that feels like. Though I might not have the love of a father that showed me how to love and be loved, my mother showed me a different kind of love. It’s weird because my father has always provided for us but has never truly been there, if that makes any sense. I guess it’s why I have never truly found a man to love me. It’s because I have never seen a strong relationship around me. With that said my mother has shown me love beyond words. But I will save that for Mother’s Day. But today my blog is about not having a strong man to show me how love is suppose to be like. Am I doomed to never know what love is? I have given my heart to men that have never deserved my heart. But was I truly in love if I have never known what love was? Love is more than butterflies in your stomach or feeling happy to see someone. It’s a connection, more than just a connection it’s respect, it’s unconditional, and it’s something worth fighting for I assume. Maybe not knowing how to love is a good thing. A chaotic soul as myself will surely find it easier being alone when you feel no one can truly hold you down. It’s easy to fall in and out of love with men I will never truly give my heart to. It’s easy to love someone far away like on the other side of the country because you will never be with them. Falling in love with their soul is easy but it’s truly never real. It’s easy to feel like it is real for the time because it does feel real but as time moves you know it is not real. In the end you learn it was just a connection you had with someone but never truly loved them. So on this Friday night I wonder will I ever fall in love or learn what that feels like. I guess only time will tell for as the night passes, my mind wanders into the chaos of stars in the sky. As the warm temperatures are high I know one day all my questions will be answered. But on this day, this night I sit in the quiet peace of the chaotic soothing sound of silence. Have a blessed weekend my friends. ~Emma~