Tag: music

Listening to music can be the most therapeutic thing for me at times

Emma the MizfitLeave a comment

Narcissist by: Avery Anna

Out of touch with my feelings

I can’t help it if I’m happy or sad

Today I cried for no reason

Made me feel like a psychopath

I should hate you ’cause I love you

You should hate yourself for treating me like that

We both know you only love you

Did you know they have a name for that?

You say that I’m crazy

You say that you’re sorry

Won’t happen again

You say I’m dramatic

I’m overreacting

And maybe I am

And I know you’ll get over me

But can you get over yourself?

Before you go and love somebody else

You should probably get some help

My parents don’t like you

Why would they want to?

After they found me crying on the bathroom floor

I don’t even like me anymore

‘Cause you say that I’m crazy

You say that you’re sorry

Won’t happen again

You say I’m dramatic

I’m overreacting

And maybe I am

And I know you’ll get over me

But can you get over yourself?

Before you go and love somebody else

You should probably get some help

You lose your voice when you yell too much

Don’t say you love me until you mess up

Phone calls past twelve o’clock, wanting me back

Don’t you know that they got a name for that?

You say that I’m crazy

You say that you’re sorry

Won’t happen again

You say I’m dramatic

I’m overreacting

And maybe I am

And I know you’ll get over me

But can you get over yourself?

Before you go and love somebody else

You should probably get some help

Mood right now…Fix You by Coldplay

Emma the MizfitLeave a comment

Listening to Coldplay singing my heart out to Fix You.

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above, or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try, you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face, and I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face, and I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Daily message

Emma the MizfitLeave a comment

Happy Friday, I hope everyone has a beautiful day and a wonderful weekend. Remember to stay positive and don’t allow the negativity of the world get you down. You can’t change anyone, you can only control how you react. Stay strong and stay positive. ~Emma~

    Another day

    Emma the MizfitLeave a comment

    I am grateful for the strength I have been given through my time of struggles. The world is a crazy chaotic mess and some people are just plain evil. Each time I am reminded of how mean people can be, I am also reminded how amazing life is. Life is short and it is precious. Many will cause you pain. Work can stress you out, daily activities can drive you nuts. But what I have found is, showing gratitude even for the smallest thing makes it worth fighting for. I have gone through a lot of tribulations in my life. I wake up each morning and thank God for another day. I know I have said this before but it is through His strength I am here. The point is finding things to be grateful for, even when you see nothing but darkness. Being kind, finding someone that was kind to you, maybe by holding the door open while you walked out the store. Waking up to breathe air and getting out of bed, these are things that might be small but always be grateful for. Old friends that make you smile. Laughing with your sister about a silly dog pooping in someone’s mouth. (By the way that’s an actual article she read to me today.) It is in those moments we must be grateful for. Let go of the weight of negativity, people that are mean, people that don’t appreciate you for being you. Find coping skills to help you find a better way to deal with the darkness. Being grateful, seeing the glass half full, try to find the silver lining, I know it’s hard. But you are worthy, find music to make you feel happy or sad. Sometimes a good cry helps. But always keep trying to fight the darkness that wants to bring you down. Going through any mental illness isn’t easy but keep fighting. And always remember you aren’t alone. God is there even if you don’t believe in Him, He believes in you. And I believe in you and I believe you can make it because I am a walking example of how you can get out of the dark and back into the light. It won’t be easy it will be hard. You will have to fight each and every single day but never give up. I am grateful today for my family, being able to get on this blog and write to you. One person might read this and I am okay with that. Because if that one person changes their outlook by reading my words than my job is done. I have been really busy but later today I will do one of my podcasts. It will just be me talking but I do believe it is important to continue reinforcing that mental health is a huge problem and it doesn’t get enough attention. I am grateful I woke up this morning and I am drinking my coffee. Hoping to share some positive thoughts to help or at least make you laugh. Before going through your day find something to be grateful. Grateful for shelter, grateful for a bed, grateful for another day, grateful for food. Check out the YouTube video I made, it’s a 3 min video with music and pictures. You can use it for praying, mediation or just sitting still and calming your thoughts that are trying to make you feel worthless. Start somewhere only you can decide to fight. Write down your thoughts, find the strength to keep moving forward. I can’t make you fight depression or any mental illness. Only you can scream to the heavens and beg for strength. But for now dwell in the knowledge I will be praying for all of you. Let us all wake up with grateful hearts. Have a beautiful day ~Emma~

    https://youtu.be/blQGHN_hZUA

    Check out the link 👆🏻

    how I am doing…

    Emma the MizfitLeave a comment

    It has been a very difficult year for me especially the last five months. I did not notice I had gone into a depression until I was in the middle of it. I am working hard with my books and creating content, so I really thought I was fine. It wasn’t till about around my birthday that I realized, I was not just depressed, I was extremely depressed. I have joined group therapy again which is helping me a lot. I am trying some new coping skills to try and change my behavior. The fact that I didn’t even notice I was going through a depression is extremely alarming to me. I can’t afford to allow it to take me over. I spent over 10 years fighting a very dark depression. So, for me being proactive is the only way I can keep myself from falling that deep again. Therapy has always been my go to, coloring, writing, working out all kept me focus. I really thought with the busy schedule, I was doing much better. Now I realized I wasn’t. Why share this? Simple you are not alone. I was so busy trying to focus on the future, what I was doing and how to get there. I wasn’t taking the time to focus on myself. You need to focus on yourself not just work, not just the future and what you want to do. Being proactive when you know you suffer from any mental illness will keep you from losing complete control. It’s important to establish ways to cope and find help when you need it. I made my appointments, told my family and I am going to each session. It is not something I can afford to lose control of, so today I decided to share that with you. Don’t be afraid to fall and seek help when needed. It is not weak to ask for help or find help for yourself. Remember fighting mental illness is a fight that never stops. You wake up, it is part of you and you have to learn to fight it every day. No day will be easy, no day will be lite, each day is worth fighting for. Some people don’t have that battle but it is my battle and if it is your battle don’t give up. You are not alone no matter how many times you feel alone. Keep fighting because each day is worth living. ~~Emma~~

    My mood right now— Happier Than Ever by: Billie Eilish

    Emma the MizfitLeave a comment

    When I’m away from you, I’m happier than ever
    Wish I could explain it better
    I wish it wasn’t true
    Give me a day or two to think of something clever
    To write myself a letter
    To tell me what to do, mm-mmm

    Do you read my interviews?
    Or do you skip my avenue? (My avenue)
    When you (when you) said you were passing through
    Was I even on your way?
    I knew when I asked you to (when I asked you to)
    Be cool about what I was telling you
    You’d do the opposite of what you said you’d do (what you said you’d do)
    And I’d end up more afraid

    Don’t say it isn’t fair
    You clearly weren’t aware that you made me miserable
    So if you really wanna know

    When I’m away from you (when I’m away from you)
    I’m happier than ever (happier than ever)
    Wish I could explain it better (wish I could explain it better)
    I wish it wasn’t true (wish it wasn’t true), mmm-hmm

    You call me again, drunk in your Benz
    Driving home under the influence
    You scared me to death, but I’m wasting my breath
    ‘Cause you only listen to your fucking friends
    I don’t relate to you
    I don’t relate to you, no
    ‘Cause I’d never treat me this shitty
    You made me hate this city

    And I don’t talk shit about you on the internet
    Never told anyone anything bad
    ‘Cause that shit’s embarrassing, you were my everything
    And all that you did was make me fucking sad

    So don’t waste the time I don’t have
    And don’t try to make me feel bad
    I could talk about every time that you showed up on time
    But I’d have an empty line ’cause you never did
    Never paid any mind to my mother or friends
    So I shut ’em all out for you ’cause I was a kid

    You ruined everything good
    Always said you were misunderstood
    Made all my moments your own
    Just fucking leave me alone

    Storms Wrath

    Emma the MizfitLeave a comment

    Storms Wrath

    Her heart breaks at his words

    Crushing the red dried roses that were once hers

    Leaving nothing but dark red broken petals falling towards the grass

    As the she lets out a howl from deep within

    Crushed by his hateful words of deceit

    The stab wounds going deep in her soul

    She goes blue like a chill from winter’s brutal cold

    Pain freezing her every thought

    As her heart stops beating so damn hard

    Tears staining her face with marks

    She tries to understand what came her way

    Lost for words with nothing left to say

    Falling to the ground, she grabs the wounds on her way

    His words of hate, breaking her once beautiful face

    Written by: Emmanuelle-Rose Grace