Tag: mental health

Pain & Suffering

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What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

Suffering and pain have helped me to grow the most in life. From not getting married after being proposed to so many times, having no kids, to not even get into relationship for years after the darkest sickest time in my life.

It is through suffering and pain we learn the most about ourselves. In the midst of that darkness, I learned that not giving up makes you stronger.

Many years of absolute darkness, suffering and pain gave me a new perspective. Living in the present was developed after years of struggle with the past. But nothing is more powerful than being able to suffer and changing your life.

Learning to let go of things one can’t change and learning to grow into a better version.

I am incredibly grateful to have been able to go through so many difficult times. If I never experienced that suffering, I would not be the person I am now. I’m grateful to God to have let me suffer so one day I could shine bright.

Blessings are the fruit of life. They are to be enjoyed throughout the bitterness and sweetness of life.~Emma~

Can’t sleep

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I am writing this at three in the morning. Today was a really good day. I can’t complain, but I can’t sleep. I worked out, went to PT, did acupuncture, it really was a good day. I mean every day that you’re alive is a good day isn’t it?

Unfortunately sleeping is my biggest problem right now. My dreams have been filled with nightmares of darkness. I get the same ones over and over.

Most of my dreams are centered around seeing things I shouldn’t see. I am usually walking in the city. There are flames and fires everywhere, there are dead bodies all over the place. Everything is destroyed in that and there I am just walking in the midst of all that chaos and destruction. It’s a dream that I’ve had over and over again. I don’t know why I have it yet I dream it over and over again.

Sometimes I wonder if they will ever stop. Right after I start thinking that I get like five dreams in a row crazy dreams. It’s funny because so many people I ask “do you dream” and their answer is always “no”. When I go to bed the moment I fall asleep I am dreaming all night from dream to dream to dream. Hopefully tonight I get to sleep, even if it’s dream and dream and dream.

I hope tonight you have wonderful dreams always ~Emma~

Liberation day 

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Today was the Inauguration of President Trump. After four years under the Biden administration it finally feels good to be free from him. This isn’t about being a Republican or Democrat it was about being American. I was so tired of trying to explain why I am proud being American.

People from every nation are proud of their homeland, this is my homeland. I am not embarrassed where I come from nor should I be. People are taught to hate themselves for what? I can never understand why you would listen to anyone tell you to hate yourself.

As a person that suffered a devastating severe depression that left me in a mind prison for 10 years. When I was finally freed, thanks to God, it took me forever to feel like myself. As I grow each day not looking back at the past, I learn to be more comfortable in myself.

So again why would I listen to anyone that tells me I need to hate myself. Not only hate myself but also I need to fit in the boxes they decided to make. No thank you, I like being myself. I don’t need to fit into the box you have created for me to live in.

As a Christian I love everyone but I don’t need to be around everyone, nor do I have to accept everyone. Just like everyone doesn’t have to love me or accept me. It’s God I follow, it’s God that I have to answer to, it’s God who saved me from the darkness and it was God that saved Trump.

Was it to save the United States from the insanity it was going through, I do believe that. Regardless of how, Trump was saved to be used by God, that was His plan.

In the end I am just absolutely happy the madness of 100 genders, offending people by just being myself is done. So for me today isn’t just another Inauguration Day, for me it’s a day to celebrate my country. I may have ancestors from Spain but my country is America, my blood is American and my heart is for America.

So to all my fellow patriots I hope you have a beautiful night celebrating winning our country back. Make America Great Again!

Busy bee

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Life has been extremely busy for me. Taking time out to catch up on just personal things has been exhausting. I can’t complain though I am alive and that is always a good thing. I am incredibly blessed and grateful to God for all the blessings He gives me. I hope as the Christmas season is in full bloom I hope you are blessed. May you remember a child was born to save us all. May your heart never forget that it is through that child we are reborn. May this season be a blessing to you all. Filled with love, laughter and pure joy, that you will remember each moment with a smile. Even through the darkest of times there is always something to be grateful for, never forget that. Have a blessed week. ~Emma~

Shhh 🤫

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What could you do less of?

Share less about myself. I am trying to grow into a better version of myself. I have learned that some mysteries are better left not knowing. It builds the intrigue of the person. The only way to accomplish that is by learning to stay silent. So that’s exactly what I am trying to do.

Dogs

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Who are your current most favorite people?

Dogs are my favorite. I would say “people” suck. Dogs are like little angels that just help in life.

When you used to…

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I asked last year around September for guidance from God. My prayer is what one of the books I read would be called “dangerous prayers”.

It’s not dangerous prayers that cause any danger. But it’s more along the line praying for something and not knowing how much time it will take or what you will lose in the process. Learning that it’s not going to be given in your time nor the way you want it.

A lot of Christians don’t really believe in dangerous prayers I am one of the ones that has seen dangerous prayers answered over and over again..

Again, dangerous prayers are not causing danger or even asking for some sort of dangerous activity to happen. I guess you can say it’s more of be careful what you’re praying for because you might actually get what you prayed for.

So like I said last September 2023 I prayed for God to guide me closer to him no matter what. In the prayer, I asked God if there is anything in my life that is distracting me or pulling me away from you I want it removed. I don’t care what I lose or the pain caused I want to be closer to You oh Lord.

So a couple months go by and I started seeing people that I was close to just kind of like disappear. So it started with a person I was close to. We spoke daily a lot and as time went on, I started to see a shift and at first I wanted to ignore it pretend like that’s not what’s going on, but then I started to see the distance and it was clear.

After we stop speaking and months went by earlier this year, I started to realize it was God pulling that person out of my life. The reason that God pulled that person out of my life was because that person was a distraction. Someone might say that that’s cruel to say. But for me, my goal has always been to get closer to God. My life mission has always been to be one of God‘s Warriors.

So here we are in November 2024, a year has passed and I haven’t spoken to this person in a good 10 or 11 months. Do I miss the person? Yeah sometimes. But I have also learned to mourn the relationship and move on.

Just today another thing that I loved doing became meh. I wasn’t excited I wasn’t thrilled to be doing it. I just felt nothing. One must be prepared that when you ask for something and you ask obstacles or anything to be removed, they will be removed. Your love for them will be taken away. Your desire to be filled with them will be destroyed if that’s what you asked for.

There are other things that have changed. My love for a lot of things have changed. I spend more time in prayer, more time writing, more time in self-reflection, learning more about myself, and learning to grow from my past mistakes.

It is in this waiting season that I have learned that God has stripped away a lot of distractions from my life. Things that I held onto that I didn’t even think were distractions, but they were. They were distractions from me, developing a relationship with God and for me developing into a better individual for myself, for my family, for society, and for God.

It is in this waiting season that I have learned to let go of things that don’t matter. I have learned to forgive those that hurt me in the past. I have learned that the most important thing in life is to cherish each and every single moment you are alive.

I have learned to embrace each and every single moment. Whether it’s spending a Sunday cleaning with my niece, nephew, my sister, my mom, my dad and my brother, in the garage hanging up Christmas lights. Whether it’s spending Sabbath with my family and drinking cappuccinos with the new Nespresso machine. It’s in those little moments that we’re making memories that will last a lifetime. It’s in those moments that we are truly living life.

I don’t know what tomorrow might bring but I definitely know. I trust God to bring me through tomorrow.

So has God answered my dangerous prayer? The answer to that is yes and no. He is definitely answering the prayer. I just haven’t gotten to the end yet.

I did ask for more than just becoming closer to God. That was my main prayer and still my main objective. But there’s one little part of that prayer that I’m waiting for. I have constantly waited, and God has referred to this moment as the waiting season.

Sometimes we become impatient during the waiting season, but we have to remember that when you ask for something from God he’s going to deliver. Whether it’s through a dangerous prayer like I said before or just a prayer he will answer.

I know a lot of people don’t believe in dangerous prayers. But I can tell you based on my own history dangerous prayers are real just be careful and be ready for the consequences of asking such prayers. It’s all about trust baby. It’s all about trust and having faith in Jesus Christ to answer your prayer.

Remember, God always answers in his time not our own. 

I hope this is a lesson for you to learn and I hope you have a wonderful, beautiful blessed week. Love always, Emma. 

Absolutely!!!

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Do you trust your instincts?

I absolutely trust my instincts without a doubt. I was one that used to doubt myself and my own instincts. But as I got older and more aware of how people behave it became extremely clear.

We all meet people the kind of people that don’t sit right with us. It’s not judging them without knowing them or anything like that. It’s more like something inside you is telling you, something about this person gives off this strange vibe.

We write it off as being paranoid or just thinking about it too much. Later on we find out boom the person wasn’t trust worthy, and completely backstabbed you.

I used to a be a firm believer give everyone a chance. If I am kind and loving they will be the same. Instead I lost a lot of time on people that didn’t deserve to be in my life. I even lost myself for a time, chasing after a bunch of losers I thought were friends. They weren’t friends, they were users.

You know the kind of people that use you for a time and then turn their back on you like if you meant nothing.

That is because you meant nothing to them. You were replaced with someone else. People like this don’t deserve to be in your life. Even if they have changed and you meet again wish them luck and move on.

I feel strongly that our basic instincts are God given and Him speaking to us. But we are so used to thinking that can’t be true. I strongly believe and feel that your instincts turn out right because it was God warning you. So instead of not listening to our instincts we need to learn to trust them. Because there is a reason God gave us this gift. Learn to use it to protect yourself.

I have learned many lessons the older I got and the first lesson was always trust my instincts. Because every single time it has been right. Hope you all have a beautiful day.

I am good!

Emma the MizfitLeave a comment

What alternative career paths have you considered or are interested in?

I am a writer, dog sitter and content creator. So I think I have chosen my alternative career. I once worked in the business world and now I get to do what I want. I don’t think there is anything better than that.