Wondering how long you have waited for me. I know you look for me. I know you refuse to let me know that you’re watching me. You watch my every move wondering what I will do next. You can’t help it, it consumes you. You want to walk away and never look back but you can’t. Don’t worry darling your secret is safe with me.
Tag: love
C Dramas
I am absolutely in love with C dramas. I know many are obsessed with K dramas and even though they do have a special place in my heart the C dramas are just so grand. The amount of details in the costumes and set pieces make American cinema look like crap. 
I know I might get crap for that but let’s be honest. Any show on Disney+, Amazon or HBO(Max) can’t compare. I heard one YouTuber say she hates the C dramas because the graphics are just unrealistic. I thought to myself while watching her spew her nonsense “wow girl you really need to watch the rings of power”. That thing was so bad and I bet China didn’t have no where near the budget of rings of power on any project.
I just absolutely love the creativity they put into the different series. I love how there aren’t sex scenes in every single shot. I don’t have to see fake boobs or an ass run across my screen. It’s almost like they let your imagination take over while the couple kisses.
Somethings are better left without us having to watch the couple actually have sex. I cannot explain how bad American culture has become. Every single actress has big lips, frozen faces and perfect boobs. I am hoping there will be a shift and I won’t have to deal with it but I doubt that will happen anytime soon.
The days of the breakfast club or sixteen candles are long gone and don’t worry, you will constantly be reminded every single time.
Getting back to my love for the C dramas. I do love how they make an effort to make the stories interesting and yes I am happy to live in the fantasy world even for a brief moment.
I know the actors are treated differently and I know there is a whole bunch of pressure on them constantly. Recently that happened in my k drama world with Kim Soo Hyun and the accusations he faced.
For those that don’t know he was accused of doing something through hearsay and basically cancelled. Lucky for him his fans were not willing to allow him to be cancelled just on hearsay. (Yes I am one of those fans, I stand with him also.) Which by the way if you believe every single woman please don’t follow me I am NOT that girl. I know exactly how vicious women can be.
The set pieces are always grand, the costumes are always beautiful. It’s almost like watching a movie but instead it’s a series of 30-40 episodes of the whole story. Many are based on either Chinese literature, books or web toons. One great example of this is an older series called Love between the Devil and Fairy.
This wonderful piece has Dylan Wang which I think is such a cutie. Too young for me but he definitely is yummy in his Devil costume, or I should call him, Moon Supreme. Again the graphics aren’t perfect and yes they might be a little cheesy for some viewers but I absolutely love it.
It’s like watching the Terminator. Yeah it might look old and a little cheesy with the graphics but I can honestly say none of the movies have ever been better than the first one and second one. Again might be cheesy but it’s perfect.
It’s funny how far the graphics have come yet the stories have become such garbage. Again why I love my C dramas. I know we will never be able to get the charm and beauty of the 80’s cinema or even music for that case,back. But having these fantastic series that are epic and unique have given me hope.
I love diving into a good book and the characters leave me in awe. Movies and tv shows used to do that, they don’t anymore. It’s all remakes, diversity, pushing some stupid message, and the stories are just crap.
Hence why I fell in love with my C dramas and look forward to watching more of them. China might not be perfect but they definitely are doing something right and it’s called C dramas. Thank you China for your service in helping this American girl forget the crappy movies and actors in my land. Your faithful viewer, Emma.
PS: don’t start doing anything with diversity, women power or gender identity you will lose me so fast!!!
Finding freedom
There is nothing more disappointing than when you have friends and family but realize they don’t have your back. It’s sad but it also reminds us that the only one we can depend on is ourselves. It is better to be reminded of this harsh reality than to constantly think we have others by our side. It’s the most freeing thing one can imagine. Everything you do, everything you accomplish comes from within you not from someone else. Not from those that doubted you. Not for those that never once believed in you. Not those that thought they would watch you fail. Instead those who were your biggest haters can watch from the back of the stands. Don’t acknowledge them, don’t even give them the satisfaction of your presence. Instead walk by them like the strangers they are. Freedom is learning to live without the fear of being alone. Embrace it and be free.
Names
Today and gone tomorrow will you remember my name.
Will you whisper it to the wind?
Will you shout it from the rooftop?
Will you know what it meant?
Will you remember how I felt?
Will it ever make you mad?
Or will you just be sad?
Time will know the pain but darling will you remember my name?
~Emmanuelle-Rose Grace~
 Christ is King 
Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. He has given me, joy. He has led me through the pain. Through my darkest night and times in my life, he led me to the light. As we reflect on this Good Friday, the sacrifice that Jesus Christ did. He bore our sins so that we may have a chance at eternal life. I ask you is something missing in your life? If it is, I ask you to turn to Jesus. Jesus is the way he is the king. He is salvation. I ask you to turn to Jesus and accept the gift that he has given to you. Have a wonderful, beautiful blessed night. He is risen.
To the One with No Name
I don’t think about you anymore. I know it’s hard for you to comprehend. I no longer care to have the same worthless conversations about my flaws and shortcomings. I am not perfect never pretended to be anything other than myself.
You are the one that pretended to be someone you aren’t. So I go to bed with my conscience completely clear. I don’t pretend to be something I am not.
I am a difficult person to love and even more difficult to understand. I am fiercely loyal and willing to move mountains for those whom I love. I am upfront and don’t lie about my feelings. I am not fake and will never try to fit into a role because someone else thinks I should. I have my own personal opinions about politics. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Saviour, I will never apologize for that.
I am completely confident in myself. I know I am constantly growing and learning from my mistakes and experiences in life. I can’t apologize for the past because it doesn’t exist for me. I know you can’t understand that and I won’t try to explain it.
I used to think maybe one day you would realize that. That I would always be there for you even in the darkest times of life. But I have mourned our relationship and have buried it.
Just as the dead cannot speak, we move on. The future is before us, will our paths cross again maybe, maybe not. Either way I hold no grudges towards you. You are in very long list of memories or times I no longer visit. Tucked away like a bookmark in a page of a book I will never read again. Always~Emma~
Don’t be Used
Don’t allow yourself to used. People will always take for granted the things you do. Especially if it is something that you do all the time. It might be something so small they don’t really notice at all that you do it constantly for them.
Now I don’t mean not doing things for others because you expect something in return, no that is not what I am saying. Usually the little things turn into bigger things. Things that are much more time consuming and the more you take on, I just ask one thing.
Does that person appreciate the time you spend on them? I don’t mean by meaningless words but by actions. I have seen people both women and men do things for others that is completely ignored. They aren’t appreciated for the time they lost or for the effort they put into that time.
So my question still remains are you appreciating those around you that do the little things or big things you don’t notice? If not take some time to let them know that you appreciate them for all they do to make your life easier.
Also for those of you that aren’t bring appreciated, give it time but not too much time. Some people will never appreciate what they have. So my advice is don’t waste time on people that do not appreciate you.
It’s one thing to allow people to grow but we all know some people will never grow. They aren’t appreciated fundamentally broken inside and would rather use you than actually cherish you. So again walk away.
Life is too short and too precious to waste time on someone that only cares about themselves. Not everyone is bad but not everyone deserves the benefit of doubt.
Listen to your instincts they are usually right. Trust me I get how hard it is to be alone in this world. But it is better to be alone than around people that suck the life out of you like vampires. God created you with a purpose find out what that purpose is and go after it.
Growing is learning from our mistakes and not repeating bad behaviors of the past. I pray whoever reads this finds the courage and strength to overcome their situation. I pray God may guide you through whatever you face. May He be the light you need on your path.
Remember God wants a relationship with you. You just have to be willing to spend time together and let him show you the way. I pray you have a beautiful blessed week. ~Emma~
Thank God
Thank you God for waking me up this morning. Thank you for the new day with endless possibilities. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for everything You have bestowed upon me. I am not worthy of you, All Praise to You my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
Surrounded
Even while sitting by people whom you love doesn’t change the fact they don’t see you. Doesn’t matter how many times you have spoken to them you are still invisible.
I am used to people being this way around me. Doesn’t change how much it still hurts. While also making me stronger for each and every single encounter that comes along.
People surround themselves with people just to stop the silence. But I find in the silence I am more comfortable. Is that good thing? I don’t really have the answer for that. I do it makes me more comfortable in who I am and not whom others expect me to be.
It’s extremely important to learn about yourself while also learning to be comfortable around others. Life is never going to go your way. So it’s best to learn how much you care and how much you don’t.
That doesn’t mean closing everyone off. We need people in our lives. We are built for community. So learning to be alone and learning to be comfortable around others in silence is also good.
One must learn that sometimes just being there can be a blessing. Never stop being the person God made you. Never stop growing and learning from the life He has given you. Smile and filled with gratitude always. ~Emma~
Cat love
My cat Luna lies by my feet. She doesn’t get the chance very often because it’s usually one of our dogs that visit, that sleep on the bed with me. So when all the dogs go home and it’s just our pets she sneaks onto my bed and sleeps by my feet.~Emma~
Emma the Mizfit 