What do you do when you are searching for yourself? Trying to become the best version of yourself. Meanwhile trying to find who that person truly is. I became lost long ago. Years went by and now finally I am becoming a better version of myself. Disciplining myself, finding ways to become more independent and more confident in everything I do. For so long, I realized I could not truly be in a relationship as an adult, because I still acted like a child. It’s only through the last few years and especially the last few months that I realize that in order to become a better version of myself, I needed to set goals. I needed to discipline myself. I needed to learn or should I say relearn better coping skills, how to be able to communicate properly with others and not try to fall into old patterns. Patterns that were not healthy but instead create new healthier habits. Create healthier coping skills. Learning to communicate my own feelings, my own thoughts, without getting angry or hurt. While also taking into consideration that not everything will go my way. There are just some things that I just need to let go and learn to accept them as nothing more than fleeting memories, fleeting moments, with fleeting people. Friendships live and friendships die. Time will tell but in the end it is I that will be stronger. Which makes all the pain worth all the lessons I needed to learn to grow. It’s hard I won’t pretend it will be easy. Nothing worth having is ever easy.
Tag: life
Walking
What is your favorite form of physical exercise?
I love speed walking while listening to jams. It’s probably my favorite because you are outside in the outdoors, listening to music and just not thinking of anything but being inside the moment. Not to mention when you are outside you just feel good especially in the fall and spring, I even love the winter season. But that’s just me maybe not for everyone else.
Silent
Written by Emmanuelle-Rose Grace
I scream
I yell
Still no one hears me
I shake my hands
I stomp my feet
Still no one hears me
I jump up
I jump down
Still no one sees me
I cry
I die
Still no one can hear or see me
Making foods
What food would you say is your specialty?
Specialty food that’s a hard one. I love making chicken with peppers on white rice. I also enjoy making brown rice with veggies. I am really good at making tasty scrambled eggs. Loving trying different recipes and different things. so I can really name one thing but I would definitely like to get to the skill level my mother is at. She cooks everything and it always tastes good.
Love
What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to?
Give my heart completely to a man. I have never actually given my heart away. I have liked many and fallen for a few but honestly I have never given my heart to any man.
Drive by The Cars
Who’s gonna tell you when
It’s too late?
Who’s gonna tell you things
Aren’t so great?
You can’t go on, thinking
Nothing’s wrong, oh no
Who’s gonna drive you home
Tonight?
Who’s gonna pick you up
When you fall?
Who’s gonna hang it up
When you call?
Who’s gonna pay attention
To your dreams?
Yeah who’s gonna plug their ears
When you scream?
You can’t go on, thinking
Nothing’s wrong, oh no
Who’s gonna drive you home
Tonight?
(Bye, bye, bye)
(Bye, bye, bye)
(Bye, bye, bye)
(Bye, bye, bye)
Who’s gonna hold you down
When you shake?
Who’s gonna come around
When you break?
You can’t go on, thinking
Nothing’s wrong, oh no
Who’s gonna drive you home
Tonight?
Oh, you know you can’t go on, thinking
Nothing’s wrong
Who’s gonna drive you home
Tonight?
Proudest moment
What are you most proud of in your life?
The day I got baptized and gave my soul to God. It was the best thing I have ever done and the only thing that made me feel absolutely powerful. He not only helped me that day, He also has given me the strength to keep going every single day. No matter the struggle He gives me the strength.
Becoming the best version of myself
What have you been working on?
I have been working on myself. Trying to learn from my mistakes. Trying to live a healthy lifestyle. Trying to learn how to communicate better. Trying to push myself out of own comfort zones. Learning new coping techniques to try and not keep myself back. Always trying to keep growing to become a version of myself than I was yesterday. Sounds silly I know but it’s the truth. The only way I can find my place in this life is to find myself. For so long I had no idea who I was and I think finally, I am coming to understand who I am and who I want to be. Because there is a difference, I don’t just want to be myself I want to be the best version of myself.
Living blissfully
What’s something most people don’t know about you?
What I really am facing each and every single day. They think they know they think they understand but the truth is they have no idea. I won’t share it because it’s pointless because they will never understand nor would they ever truly care to understand. I have family that think they know what I go through they think that. Truth is they don’t and I won’t shatter the illusion they have of me. Let them think what they want. Let them believe what they want. No matter what I do I will never live up to the expectations they have of me. So it’s better to let them live in ignorance because ignorance is bliss and they would rather live there than in reality.
Keep it moving
Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?
Well it depends today is a rainy day. On rainy days I feel lazy and without energy. I feel like just sleeping unfortunately I can’t sleep the whole day away. So I will just keep going and do everything I do everyday. Keep moving forward. Have a beautiful day.
Emma the Mizfit 