I had this friend, who I thought was a friend that completely turned his back on me. Turns out he wasn’t a friend, he was a user. The moment I no longer became useful he tossed me like garbage. Now this person used to say how loyal he was and all this fake 💩. The truth is I should have known he was fake. I should have known he was a liar. I should have known everything he spoke about was lies. Regardless of him cutting me out I had hoped we would reconcile but I no longer want to reconcile. I have mourned the relationship between us. Today I put the final nail in the coffin. I have moved on and thought I would like to be the better person and wish him luck. I have to be honest I literally don’t give a 💩 what happens to him. It’s not about bitterness or anything I just don’t care. A person can wish well and hope for the best but once you cross the line to where they no longer care. It’s gone nothing you do matters nothing you say matters you are dead to them. And he is dead to me. Mourn the loss of the people that have done you wrong and after that let it go. No use holding on to grudges or even any feelings for them. After you have mourned their death you can move forward never looking back. It’s the best way to heal yourself.
Tag: letting go
Journals
Do you have any collections?
I have a collection of journals. I started to write in my first diary at the age of 12. My mom was the one that bought me this little purple diary with a lock on it. After that she would buy me one for Christmas if I asked for one. I would ask for them because it depends how much I wrote. I know right now I have about 24 books. I have also a prayer book, a poem book, dream book, and my love book.
Reminder: Mental Health Awareness
As I have said before May is Mental Health Awareness Month. This is a list of things that have helped me. I hope they help you. You are not alone.
Also trying to be a better version of yourself doesn’t mean you are weak.
Learning to forgive others for what they have done for you, only makes you feel stronger.
Self care is something we all must do. If you don’t take care of yourself no one else will either.
Therapy is a tool to be used not ignored.
I want to encourage everyone that kindness goes a long away.
Coping skills are there to remind you, how to deal with issues.
Praying is one of the greatest ways to heal and find true peace.
Working out helps to make you feel good and give you the confidence you need.
Healthy eating is a way for you to take out the food that makes you feel down. Don’t eat anything that will make you feel sluggish. Don’t eat anything that will make you feel regret. Only eat and drink things that will help you to feel good about yourself. Not to mention that when eating healthy foods you also gain clarity. Stay away from junk food.
Remember journaling is way to put your thoughts down on paper. Even if it feels pointless the thought has been written and maybe now you can let it go.
If you experience any thoughts about self deleting please call for help or ask for help. People are not mind readers and don’t know what is going on. So please do seek help because you are not alone.
Last but not least remember God isn’t just the Creator. He can be your partner, your friend, your guide, your anchor through your life. If you truly need someone always there God is the perfect companion for you.
What it’s the truth?!?
Someone writes me to tell me how could I be so cold. I completely cut off communication with this individual and they didn’t understand why. Well this person refused to even ask themselves why I would even respond when they haven’t written me in months. Since I decided not to respond to the person instead block them. I will write them here. This message will probably never be read by them but for me it’s therapeutic to close the chapter. I don’t like wasting my time. If I spend time on you, talking to you, making myself available for you and that is taken for granted I will cut you out and move on. Like I have said before many times, I am not a fake person. I will not pretend to be a friend when I am not. I can tolerate people but pretending to be a friend when I am not is something I cannot do. With that said, if you cannot find time to write me or even ask how I am doing for MONTHS after me constantly extending myself to you, please explain to me why I should even care when you slide into my dms. I wish you well, I hope you thrive, for many healthy years to come but again I am not looking back. My focus is on the future, I am doing a lot of different things, my time is extremely limited. So for you to think I am wasting anymore time on this, you should really know me better. Sincerely ~Emma~Mizfit Queen~
Dogs giving me advice?!?
I was told the other day I need to find myself a partner. So there is a whole back story but what is interesting is how people just assume so much about me. I don’t compare my life to anyone. I have complete trust in God no matter the path I must walk. Even if it means walking this life alone with just Him. I am doing what I thought was the right thing. Which by the way is the right thing to do. But somehow this individual took it upon himself to tell me this and how I need to find someone. Why would it interest someone, my love life? Don’t really know but it seems it was advice no one was asking for. I sure as hell didn’t ask for his opinion or advice, yet somehow he took it upon himself to give me life advice. Kettle meet pot.
At first I was completely offended. How dare this MF call me a loser? I mean isn’t that what you would assume he meant by his words, that was my first response. My second response was far more of and angry AF swearing like this man isn’t even married and he has the audacity to talk about me? Wtf!!!
After much thought and reflection I realized who the fk cares what some a hole thinks. My life doesn’t revolve around some a hole that thinks he can pass judgement on a day in my life that he has never lived.
I am not going to sit here and say “living my best life.” That would be a lie. I struggle, I work, I do a lot of things to keep myself busy. I run a business. I am working on a book. I don’t do one thing, I am doing many things. I spend time on social media because in order to do anything on social media you have to build yourself up. Which means spending time on social media interacting with others on social media that’s how you gain a following. People think that’s not work but it is a lot of work. A lot of time you don’t get paid for.
Either which way I did realize that this person doesn’t know crap about me. Made assumptions based on my time playing the game and came to the conclusion I need a man. Well darling I do need a man. A real man one that can treat me good and is a God fearing Christian man.
My path is the one I am building that God is helping me build. No one knows where it will lead but God does and that is enough for me.
So thank you Mr kettle for pointing out how I need a partner. Hope you got to laugh with friends while calling me a loser. Darling, I have been called worse and to be honest after this blog I will never think about it again. Life is too short to be dwelling on things that can’t be changed. I am focusing on my goals and heading in that direction. So thanks for the advice no one asked for.
Yes that is my rant. Nite y’all. ~Emma~
Accepting facts!!!!
Ordinary World: Duran Duran
Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue
Thought I heard you talking softly
I turned on the lights, the TV, and the radio
Still I can’t escape the ghost of you
What has happened to it all?
Crazy, some’d say
Where is the life that I recognise? (Gone away)
But I won’t cry for yesterday
There’s an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive
Passion or coincidence once prompted you to say
“Pride will tear us both apart”
Well, now pride’s gone out the window
Cross the rooftops, run away
Left me in the vacuum of my heart
What is happening to me?
Crazy, some’d say
Where is my friend when I need you most? (Gone away)
But I won’t cry for yesterday
There’s an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ahh-ah-ahh
Away-ay, ay-ay-ay-ay
Oh, oh
Papers in the roadside tell of suffering and greed
Fear today, forgot tomorrow
Ooh-ooh
Here besides the news of holy war and holy need
Ours is just a little sorrowed talk
And I don’t cry for yesterday
There’s an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive
(Every world is my world)
I will learn to survive
(Any world is my world)
I will learn to survive
(Any world is my world)
(Every world is my world)
White Flag by Dido
I know you think that I shouldn’t still love you
Or tell you that
But if I didn’t say it, well I’d still have felt it
Where’s the sense in that?
I promise I’m not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were
I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be
I know I left too much mess and
Destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can’t talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of it’s over
Then I’m sure that that makes sense
I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be
And when we meet
Which I’m sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I’ll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I’ve moved on
I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag abobe my door
I’m in love and always will be
So tired
When you find so many in your life that are fake AF you know it’s time to start over somewhere else.
Becoming the best version of myself
What have you been working on?
I have been working on myself. Trying to learn from my mistakes. Trying to live a healthy lifestyle. Trying to learn how to communicate better. Trying to push myself out of own comfort zones. Learning new coping techniques to try and not keep myself back. Always trying to keep growing to become a version of myself than I was yesterday. Sounds silly I know but it’s the truth. The only way I can find my place in this life is to find myself. For so long I had no idea who I was and I think finally, I am coming to understand who I am and who I want to be. Because there is a difference, I don’t just want to be myself I want to be the best version of myself.
Emma the Mizfit 