“You knew what you were doing and you know it would hurt me but somehow that still didn’t stop you.”
Tag: heart
Please help me
I ask please for you all to go to YouTube and subscribe to the channel I need a 1k on YouTube channel before it will get monetize. So please help me out. Thank you all and have a beautiful wonderful day. ~ Emma~
Walk on sunshine
Today is going to be a good day. I refuse to allow anything to bring my mood down. Instead I will be walking on sunshine. Does that mean everything will go right? Does that mean it will be an easy day? No but I am choosing that regardless of the day I will still have a good day. I will not allow anything to bring me down. I hope today you have a beautiful day filled with love and lots of blessings. ~Emma~
Embrace the Chaos
When the world is mean and makes you full of sadness, remember how special you are to God. He will never leave your side, He will always love you. He will always accept your kind of crazy because He knows you are enough being you. Embrace the chaos that is you, because it’s beautiful when it is you. Don’t let anyone take that from you. ~Emma~
CLOSE: written by Emmanuelle -Rose Grace
He touches my hand
I feel nervous at his side
I can feel the chemistry course through my veins inside
It’s almost like an electric current
I look into his eyes but turn away
He pulls at my face leaning in
Utters words I want to hear him say
“Don’t be afraid darling I won’t hurt you.”
Many have pretended to be there
His words feel like magic filling the air
The rain is all over us, the splat splat splat sounds makes me shiver
He pulls my close and tells me sweet words
“You are my flame together we will burn forever.”
I look into the distance and see the lights of the city
But as we walk together in the rain I feel my heart just patter
He grabs my hand and we run through the drops of water
Getting all wet seems so silly
But finally we reach his place
He covers me in blankets to make me feel safe
He leans down grabs my face
As his lips touch over my cheek
I start to feel warm inside
And he pulls up my face looking into my eyes
Green on blue he kisses me taking me deep inside
Oh how I love being with him this way
Our lips touching feeling each other out
Feeling his tongue slide over my neck
Makes me buzzed on a high
Damn what is it about him that makes me feel so alive
~Emma~
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Words to live by
Words to live by
Some people will always be weak and cowards. Stay away from those kind of people. They only cause pain and heartache. They will never think of anyone first but themselves. So save your self the trouble and never allow those people back in after they have left. They aren’t worth your time.
Positive Christmas turn
Last night was fun and today is peaceful. I am grateful to have my family that accepts me even at my worst. I knew the other day I lashed out it had been a while since I went so down so fast. Maybe it was being sick and down that drove to lose control so easily. But the truth is I still need to find better coping skills to keep me ahead of the twists and turns. Life is extremely unpredictable and I need to learn to cope with I can control which is myself. There will always be a trigger always something will change my moods. It’s learning and finding new ways to adapt to the chaos that I must learn to master in myself. I know I am not alone, I trust in God and I know somewhere someone else may be experiencing the same thing. It is through that I must learn to find ways to keep fighting. The mood swings can happen but learning to keep calm and being aware is something we must all learn. Learning to lean on those that support us is a good thing. Therapist, group therapy, God, family, friends whatever it is keep finding good coping skills to help you find the strength you have. I learned last night not only God gave me the strength but my family did also. It was through that support I have in place that gave me the chance to speak to them, to trust in them and allow myself to vulnerable with them. Having the conversation and being completely open with them helped me enjoy being in the moment with the whole family. It was truly an amazing night that I will remember for a long time. I hope your Christmas was blessed. As I said to everyone yesterday remember we celebrate Christmas because it was the gift that we got from God in Jesus Christ who came and died to save us. We celebrated His birth. You might not believe but this what I believe and I am willing to stand on that rock always. God has given me so much and Jesus isn’t just my king, he is my friend, the lover of my soul, He knows me in ways no one will ever know and it’s a comfort for me. To have trust and faith in someone I can feel in my heart. Without God I would not be here it is through his love and Grace that I am at peace tonight. I send you some of that peace that maybe you can have that inner peace starting this new week. Have a wonderful week, filled with many blessings. ~Emma~
Written in the afternoon before Christmas Eve family gathering
Today wasn’t any better my mood spiked to further level of down. Sat on my bed crying for about an hour before trying to find something to wear. I wish I could say I felt better and I did this morning when I woke up. I got up and decided to try and smile and put myself to work doing different things to get excited. Unfortunately something triggered me into a downward spiral of just feeling like completely angered and out of control. The truth is I knew it was happening but couldn’t stop myself from just losing complete control. I did end up in my room pleading with God to help me, I cried as I laid in bed. I finally got up again and here I am getting dressed, trying to get excited for tonight and smile for everyone around. One of the most important things for me, is to know when I have lost control and try avoid things that will bring me into that state of mind. It’s one of my coping skills and asking God just for the strength to get up again is enough for me to get up. I did cry in a full blown crying fit and as I write this I am still not carefree. It’s a matter of knowing I will never be “normal” like others and learning to just be happy being myself. It’s not easy I wish I could say it is but it is not. It is something I must fight everyday, every single morning and throughout the day. If fighting bipolar was as easy as taking a pill and walking around happy everyone that suffers from it would be happy. Unfortunately reality is much more harsh than some dream pill to make you feel like you are normal. It’s a fight that you have to be willing to fight and if I can fight it so can you. So if you reading this right now and suffer from it or know someone that suffers from it. Just know you aren’t alone and it’s extremely hard but you can do it. And to all those whom hold the person that suffers from the illness don’t give up because they need you more than you will ever know. I do hope this Christmas is blessed for all of you. ~Emma~
Emma the Mizfit 