How does one ever truly learn to treat others than not by the people around them? How can a girl learn how a man is to treat her if the men around her weren’t strong or a good example? How can she learn what love looks like when she doesn’t know? Questions I have asked myself a dozen times. I have never truly found love or been loved by a man because I don’t know what that feels like. Though I might not have the love of a father that showed me how to love and be loved, my mother showed me a different kind of love. It’s weird because my father has always provided for us but has never truly been there, if that makes any sense. I guess it’s why I have never truly found a man to love me. It’s because I have never seen a strong relationship around me. With that said my mother has shown me love beyond words. But I will save that for Mother’s Day. But today my blog is about not having a strong man to show me how love is suppose to be like. Am I doomed to never know what love is? I have given my heart to men that have never deserved my heart. But was I truly in love if I have never known what love was? Love is more than butterflies in your stomach or feeling happy to see someone. It’s a connection, more than just a connection it’s respect, it’s unconditional, and it’s something worth fighting for I assume. Maybe not knowing how to love is a good thing. A chaotic soul as myself will surely find it easier being alone when you feel no one can truly hold you down. It’s easy to fall in and out of love with men I will never truly give my heart to. It’s easy to love someone far away like on the other side of the country because you will never be with them. Falling in love with their soul is easy but it’s truly never real. It’s easy to feel like it is real for the time because it does feel real but as time moves you know it is not real. In the end you learn it was just a connection you had with someone but never truly loved them. So on this Friday night I wonder will I ever fall in love or learn what that feels like. I guess only time will tell for as the night passes, my mind wanders into the chaos of stars in the sky. As the warm temperatures are high I know one day all my questions will be answered. But on this day, this night I sit in the quiet peace of the chaotic soothing sound of silence. Have a blessed weekend my friends. ~Emma~
Tag: heart
Start the day in a positive direction
Today is a new day so begin the week with a smile and a positive attitude. No matter how hard life may seem right now you aren’t alone. Remember you are loved. I know things may get dark and I know how it feels to be so broken over things you can’t change. You can change how you react. Stay focused on a positive goal and keep reaching for it. Don’t give up. May this week being you many blessings. ~Emma~
When is the last time you took a risk? How did it work out?
A few weeks ago I told someone I liked them. They wanted to remain friends. I don’t regret it at all we are still friends and we can still just chat for hours. I would regret never telling them how I felt. I would rather feel pain for a minute than live with regret my whole life. Our life on this earth is too short to live with a mountain of regret. So even if it might cause you pain I say take the risk, you will never know how the story might go if you never try.
Life lessons
This week has been extremely hard and long. Super busy working and still somehow getting sucked into drama that just shouldn’t include me. As I sit on this Sabbath in a state of rest reminding myself that God only allows what we can handle. We forget that we are made stronger by each and every single event in our life. I know it might seem like a struggle, it sure as hell does feel that way for me. But we must never give up. We must keep fighting. So today I ask you to take time for yourself. Take time to reflect, to mediate, to pray, to speak to God, be one with yourself. Allow healing to come into you and allow God’s power to strengthen you to keep fighting. Because you are loved and you are not alone. Have a beautiful blessed day. ~Emma~
Don’t be afraid
Even if you express your affection to someone and they reject it. Don’t give up, someone else will accept you. So never be afraid of telling someone you like them. It makes you courageous and teaches you accept rejection with grace. Learning and growing is a part of the human experience. We must all learn and grow if not we will never be the best version of ourselves. So never stop growing, never stop learning and even in the face of rejection remember you are stronger today than you were yesterday. Everything happens for a reason, so embrace your chaos. Courage is not found in hiding who you are. Courage is found being confident in who you have become. Grow, learn and be the best version of yourself. Have a beautiful blessed day. ~Emma~
Words to live by
Don’t allow anyone to stop you from reaching your goals. Stay focused and just let them fall to the sidelines. ~Emma~
Never give up
Never stop being the best version of yourself. Many will try to change you. Many will find ways to convince you that you are not good enough. Many will try to let you believe that you are too broken to be loved. Don’t let that thinking keep you from shining the light God put inside you. Instead keep fighting the darkness that is trying to destroy you. Only you can fight that darkness. Only you have the power to keep fighting. Stay strong. You are not alone. ~Emma~
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?
One- waking up in the morning no matter how crappy I feel waking up makes me happy.
Two- having my first cup of coffee in the morning makes me happy.
Three- spending time with my mom and dad as they get older I know how precious the time we have left is. I don’t take any of that for granted.
Four- my sister. She is my best friend and even when we fight and she doesn’t understand me I know she will always be there for me regardless.
Five- every morning I wake up I thank God for each new day and for the strength to get through it. At night before bed no matter how tired I am I always sit on my bed and just talk to Him. It might sound weird but I never once think He isn’t there with me. I talk to Him like he is the only one that will ever truly understand me. He is the only one that will ever truly love me the way I am. And honestly that is the happiness moment each day I have.
What animals make the best/worst pets?
Dogs are the best pet. The only downside of dogs is their life is extremely short. So when you lose them it’s truly heartbreaking. Dogs are like kids but they never grow up which is good and bad. Good because they always will rely on you for everything. They are toddlers that never age. The bad side is they never grow up so they will need you and it’s extremely expensive for their healthcare the older they get. But totally worth the experience of having loved a dog. No matter how many have passed over the rainbow bridge I never hesitate to get another one. Because it is truly unconditional love you give them and you receive from them. They might be a tiny moment in your long life but for them you are the only world they know. That for me is absolutely priceless.
How would you improve your community?
In the mental community I would like to keep spreading positivity and trying to encourage others to seek help. Many don’t seek help because they are afraid of being labeled. Also they will be considered weak. Not to mention the amount of people that refuse to get help because they will lose their right to bare arms.
Emma the Mizfit 