Tag: heart

Dragon Stole My Heart: written by Emmanuelle-Rose Grace

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The other side of the world, I still think of you

Coming from two different cultures I still want you

Knowing that it will never be a possibility I still wish for it

Seeing your smile brightens my day

Seeing you laugh, makes me feel

Giddy like I want to play

I dream of the day I get to kiss you

I dream of the day I get to touch you

I dream of your laughter in my ear

My fingers running through your black hair

My hands touching your white pale skin

It’s only in my dreams that I get to see you

It’s only in my dreams that I get to be with you

To hear your laugh, to touch your skin, to feel your lips

The day may never come, that I may never get to do any of these things

But for now, as I fall asleep, I know that I will get to see you there. Good night my sweet Babe

Scars Fade

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How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?

Each life event we go through as human beings we either learn and grow from that experience. Or we learn nothing and stay in a perpetual state of victimhood. We are all struggling, fighting our own demons or just simply fighting life. It is through these trials that we become stronger and learn from our past mistakes. Not taking the time to learn from our past mistakes will allow us to continue making the same mistakes over and over again. I have learned in life that we must change our perspective, focus on the goals we wish to obtain and let go of the things that we cannot change. Doing this, I have allowed myself to become stronger and not defined by my past. This has also allowed me to be open about my feelings, my sickness and not hide who I am. It’s given me great strength. It has me freed me to be myself. Growing constantly into a better version of myself. It has given me the confidence that I need to be comfortable in my own skin. I may not be perfect, I am extremely flawed and extremely chaotic but I have learned there’s only one like me. Through time life events are like scars, they never really go away, but they fade. They stay a part of you as a lesson, but overtime you can hardly see them.

Better

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Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?

Surprisingly it’s better than I pictured my life a year ago. Things might not be perfect or even going the way I planned but it is good. Life is good. For that I am grateful to God for allowing me another year of life and the endless blessings he has bestowed upon me.

Twisted Hearts: written by Emmanuelle-Rose Grace

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Days

Weeks

Months

Years

Still you managed to make me smile today

It’s been over a year

My thoughts go back in time

To a time we would just laugh

Endless chatters

Sharing secrets

Careless whispers in the night

Song lists from the heart

Music that made us feel connected

Nights falling asleep sounds in our ears

Words that made us express our deepest desires

Though the puzzle never fit

We tried to find ways

Life decided for us

You were right coffee, no one is to blame

Life is to blame

Memories

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What would you do if you lost all your possessions?

It’s nice to keep your most treasured possessions, but nothing lasts. In a world where we will all face death one day, our only true possession is our memories. The love we have and the love we shared with others. So for myself the only thing I would hate to lose is my memories.

Making choices

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Sometimes we try to make things fit together when they don’t belong together. Sometimes we try so hard that we forget somethings were never meant to be. It’s hard to admit, we think we can control things, only to learn we control nothing. It’s something we all must learn the hard way. Either through pain, tears or just experiences. We control nothing but ourselves and even that is hard sometimes. Learning to try and control your emotions, feelings, crazy outbursts or drama is hard. For myself it seems sometimes like a never ending battle to try to gain control of myself. I hate feeling pain and rejection, it’s something no one ever gets used to. Pain you learn to just embrace without letting it drown you. On the other hand rejection makes you feel as though you did something wrong. You ask yourself, what is it about myself that makes me not likable. Sometimes it might be your fault, allowing the wrong people in, allowing people that don’t deserve your love. This isn’t about being better than another person it’s about finding out sometimes some things are not worth fighting for. Time pardons no one and doesn’t wait for one to get their crap together. We must learn to move forward without looking back. It’s okay to learn from our mistakes and grow from them but it’s better to not dwell there. I know how hard it is, I myself am trying my hardest to move forward without looking back. I don’t want to let go but unfortunately like I said before time pardons no one. Life continues to move forward we must learn to do the same. Either we move forward or stay the same, doom to repeat the same mistakes. Have a beautiful weekend. ~Emma~

Broken Trust : written by Emmanuelle-Rose Grace

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Black arrows go piercing through the night

Screaming in agony as blood pours out her mouth

The shots piercing close to the heart

Hiding in the shadows she tries to run

He points the arrows to hit again

With disgust in his eyes

Tears fall as she cries

Pleading and begging for her life

He leans back with his bow

Shoots her right through the leg

She falls to the ground

No expression as he walks down

The death of her merely an inconvenience he tries to say

Abandoned and laying in a pool of blood

Her eyes filled with suffering the unbearable pain

She looks to the star filled sky as her breathing starts to fade

Looking down at her

He bends down to whisper words for her to hear

“You were never worthy of being here with me”

He reaches and grabs one more arrow

His hand sweeps her tear filled face

He sticks the arrow deep within her heart

Tear stained cheeks as life leaves her behind

With pity he looks back his head facing down

Sorry for the chaos of putting her down

Sorrow sweeps into his heart

The smell of her scent

The way she smiled

The way she laughed

The way she felt in his arms

The memories rush to him like hitting a brick wall

But as cold as ice he simply pushes them away

He no longer can afford to care

No one will get that close he vows to the sky

She is the last one to ever make him feel alive

Consumed by death he walks away

Never to return to the way of light

He walks in the darkness never to see the day

For the light he once held is gone and dead

No longer left to shine in his world

Walking back he tries to forget her face

But he looks back one more time and turns away.

Till we meet again

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Today my uncle passed away surrounded by his loved ones. He was not a perfect man, did many wrong things but the man loved God. His passion for loving The Lord was extraordinary. I didn’t always agree in a lot of his ways, but there is no doubt He loved God and that I respected. He will be missed by all of us. But one day we all be in heaven together again. Laughing and embracing each other reminiscing of a time that past. Though tears sting my eyes my heart is filled with joy. For the pain will subside but the love will be there forever with us. Till we meet again, may God be with you till we meet again. ~Emma~

Happy Mother’s Day

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There are many things that be grateful for. On Friday I spoke about not knowing the love of man or knowing how to love in a relationship with a man. With that all said my mom is a superhero. My mother has shown me unconditional love. She has shown me sacrifice, she has taught me the unconditional love that only a mother can give. She has shown me that no matter how much I am wrong or mess up, she will always love me. She has shown me what it is to give your heart and never get what you give in return. A mother’s love is unlike any other love. It is unchanging, it is stronger than anything in life. A mother is one that is willing to give everything to her child and only wants the best for her child. My mother is the best example of what a mom truly is. Though she might disagree with a lot of my life choices, she has always supported me. Mom, I might not say it enough but you are truly an inspiration and I hope I can be half of the amazing woman you are. You are my superhero and you are my rock. Words can never express how much I love you and how much you are appreciated. Always ~Emma~

Happy Mother’s Day to all you amazing Mom’s out there. I hope you have a beautiful blessed day.

I am the chaos and the chaos is me….

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How does one ever truly learn to treat others than not by the people around them? How can a girl learn how a man is to treat her if the men around her weren’t strong or a good example? How can she learn what love looks like when she doesn’t know? Questions I have asked myself a dozen times. I have never truly found love or been loved by a man because I don’t know what that feels like. Though I might not have the love of a father that showed me how to love and be loved, my mother showed me a different kind of love. It’s weird because my father has always provided for us but has never truly been there, if that makes any sense. I guess it’s why I have never truly found a man to love me. It’s because I have never seen a strong relationship around me. With that said my mother has shown me love beyond words. But I will save that for Mother’s Day. But today my blog is about not having a strong man to show me how love is suppose to be like. Am I doomed to never know what love is? I have given my heart to men that have never deserved my heart. But was I truly in love if I have never known what love was? Love is more than butterflies in your stomach or feeling happy to see someone. It’s a connection, more than just a connection it’s respect, it’s unconditional, and it’s something worth fighting for I assume. Maybe not knowing how to love is a good thing. A chaotic soul as myself will surely find it easier being alone when you feel no one can truly hold you down. It’s easy to fall in and out of love with men I will never truly give my heart to. It’s easy to love someone far away like on the other side of the country because you will never be with them. Falling in love with their soul is easy but it’s truly never real. It’s easy to feel like it is real for the time because it does feel real but as time moves you know it is not real. In the end you learn it was just a connection you had with someone but never truly loved them. So on this Friday night I wonder will I ever fall in love or learn what that feels like. I guess only time will tell for as the night passes, my mind wanders into the chaos of stars in the sky. As the warm temperatures are high I know one day all my questions will be answered. But on this day, this night I sit in the quiet peace of the chaotic soothing sound of silence. Have a blessed weekend my friends. ~Emma~