It’s hard

What do you do when you are searching for yourself? Trying to become the best version of yourself. Meanwhile trying to find who that person truly is. I became lost long ago. Years went by and now finally I am becoming a better version of myself. Disciplining myself, finding ways to become more independent and more confident in everything I do. For so long, I realized I could not truly be in a relationship as an adult, because I still acted like a child. It’s only through the last few years and especially the last few months that I realize that in order to become a better version of myself, I needed to set goals. I needed to discipline myself. I needed to learn or should I say relearn better coping skills, how to be able to communicate properly with others and not try to fall into old patterns. Patterns that were not healthy but instead create new healthier habits. Create healthier coping skills. Learning to communicate my own feelings, my own thoughts, without getting angry or hurt. While also taking into consideration that not everything will go my way. There are just some things that I just need to let go and learn to accept them as nothing more than fleeting memories, fleeting moments, with fleeting people. Friendships live and friendships die. Time will tell but in the end it is I that will be stronger. Which makes all the pain worth all the lessons I needed to learn to grow. It’s hard I won’t pretend it will be easy. Nothing worth having is ever easy.