Tag: happy

Three years

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What will your life be like in three years?

To be honest I have no clue. I can hope for certain things in life. But the truth of the matter is we plan our future but life happens. So I will keep planning for my future but will any of my goals happen I don’t know. Because I can only my control each day and none of us our promised tomorrow. The world seems really dark and I prefer to try to keep seeing the light. So what will my life be like in 3 years only God knows I just hope I will be happy and still grateful for each moment I am alive.

Child like views

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What does it mean to be a kid at heart?

To view the world in a way a child would. Maybe a little bit naive, maybe a little bit more of a delusional happier way of seeing the world view. That doesn’t mean not seeing the darkness or evil in the world. But also keeping hope that things will change in a more positive direction or eventually workout to a better place than before. Yesterday I was asked if I was granted 3 wishes, I think having said the 3 things I would wish for are very childlike at heart. It probably makes me more naive than others but I have seen enough darkness in my own life that I would rather try to see some beauty or see the world the way a child does which is with endless possibilities.

Making foods

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What food would you say is your specialty?

Specialty food that’s a hard one. I love making chicken with peppers on white rice. I also enjoy making brown rice with veggies. I am really good at making tasty scrambled eggs. Loving trying different recipes and different things. so I can really name one thing but I would definitely like to get to the skill level my mother is at. She cooks everything and it always tastes good.

Becoming the best version of myself

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What have you been working on?

I have been working on myself. Trying to learn from my mistakes. Trying to live a healthy lifestyle. Trying to learn how to communicate better. Trying to push myself out of own comfort zones. Learning new coping techniques to try and not keep myself back. Always trying to keep growing to become a version of myself than I was yesterday. Sounds silly I know but it’s the truth. The only way I can find my place in this life is to find myself. For so long I had no idea who I was and I think finally, I am coming to understand who I am and who I want to be. Because there is a difference, I don’t just want to be myself I want to be the best version of myself.

Lost at Sea

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I feel so stupid when we talk. Not because I can’t talk to you but because you make me feel dumb. You say I spin in circles and you are right. I try so hard not to but I am trying to fix that and make it right. I hate the feeling of disappointment I hear in your voice. I hate feeling like no matter what I do you I will never be your choice. I hate that I care. I hate that I become jealous for reasons I can’t explain. I hate that when I talk to you I feel safe. I hate that when I say something you get so mad. I especially hate when you make me laugh. I want to stay mad but can’t. I want to hate you but I can’t. I hate to care and think of you all the time. I know you don’t have feelings but that doesn’t change mine. Lost in the deep sea of reflection. Darkness consuming my mind. Trying to escape in the incoming flood. Lost in the sea of your non existent callous heart. ~Emma~

Mom

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Mom you are the light in my world You are the stone that keeps me grounded You are my lighthouse on a stormy night on the sea You are stars and moon …

Mom

10 things I believe to be absolutely certain.

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List 10 things you know to be absolutely certain.

List 10 things you know to be absolutely certain

One- I believe without a doubt that there is a God.

Two- I don’t know what life was like before I became sick, but I also don’t know what life is like without my chaos.

Three- People are flawed and you just learn to accept that or move on.

Four- Love can only be felt when you have met and known God. For without knowing God one cannot truly know what love is.

Five- Showing kindness to a stranger can truly change their day.

Six- Falling in love with a face is easy but falling in love with the person’s soul that’s epic.

Seven- Death pardons no one. Cherish each moment in life for it is precious.

Eight- You never stop learning from life. For if one is not learning each day, they will never grow as a person.

Nine- Loyalty cannot be bought.

Ten- Trust is given but once it’s betrayed it will never be the same.

Things that help me in my daily life

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What strategies do you use to increase comfort in your daily life?

I do a few things each day to help me prepare for the day. I don’t know if they work for comfort throughout the day or just helping me to stay focused. I usually start the day thanking God for waking me up, as always. I ask God for strength to get through the day. I also ask God to help me stay focused on whatever things I must complete. I try to stay active, working out in the evening or going for a walk. If I am dog sitting, most of the time is spent either walking them or playing with them. If it’s a day I don’t have dogs I am trying to focus on the things I need to do in the house. I also spend time making videos, in Twitter spaces, blogging and playing games. All of these things are for helping me build what I want in the future. It takes a lot of time and can be extremely exhausting. For instance if you spend time on Twitter trying to get a following you have to be active and in order to be active your followers must see you engaging with them and others which takes time and a lot of energy. I usually spend the night hunting in the game of thrones conquest game. Farming there relaxes me and whenever I feel stressed I go into the game and farm. It helps me to do something mindless without having to think. I will listen to music or put something in the background so I don’t have to think. I do this as a coping strategy and it really helps me. Singing some 80’s songs while hunting critters in the game absolutely makes me feel free from the thoughts of the day. After I have cleared my mind I usually read a verse in the Bible or do my daily devotional. It depends if I did it in the morning or saved it for the night. I will usually spend time talking to God from my bed. The way I see my relationship with God is like any other relationship you have to talk to him. So I spend sometime chatting with him about life my problems and what I would like to do the next day. Again these things work for me and might not work for others. I refer a lot to God because I went through a really dark time and it was Him that pulled me out. For me there is nothing greater than God. If it’s a late night and I am not going to bed yet I watch something that will either make me happy or laugh. I watch a lot of old movies because most of the modern ones are so filled with politics and social issues that I really don’t want to care about while relaxing. Self care is one of the most important things I feel our society doesn’t promote enough. Mom’s and dads need time to relax away from the kids. It’s the same with everyone else we all need time for ourselves to prepare for the next day. Praying or meditating can be a way for anyone to find some sort of peace in the crazy of a busy life. These things work for me and I hope you find they work for you.

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Share a story about someone who had a positive impact on your life.

My mother was poor growing up but still loved her life. She looks back at all of it as a magical memory. Which has taught me that being poor or being rich doesn’t make life magical or beautiful. Finding time to spend with your family the memories you make with them have shaped how I view life. I am extremely lucky I get to have those close to me and make memories each days with them. It is truly impacted how I view worth in life. I would rather spend dinner night chatting with my sister at not the most fancy restaurant yet being together makes each moment the greatest.

Happy Mother’s Day

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There are many things that be grateful for. On Friday I spoke about not knowing the love of man or knowing how to love in a relationship with a man. With that all said my mom is a superhero. My mother has shown me unconditional love. She has shown me sacrifice, she has taught me the unconditional love that only a mother can give. She has shown me that no matter how much I am wrong or mess up, she will always love me. She has shown me what it is to give your heart and never get what you give in return. A mother’s love is unlike any other love. It is unchanging, it is stronger than anything in life. A mother is one that is willing to give everything to her child and only wants the best for her child. My mother is the best example of what a mom truly is. Though she might disagree with a lot of my life choices, she has always supported me. Mom, I might not say it enough but you are truly an inspiration and I hope I can be half of the amazing woman you are. You are my superhero and you are my rock. Words can never express how much I love you and how much you are appreciated. Always ~Emma~

Happy Mother’s Day to all you amazing Mom’s out there. I hope you have a beautiful blessed day.