Chasing you? Nope that’s a hard pass!

Disappointed is some thing I have become very familiar with. Just when you start to feel comfortable around people you find out that they are complete jerks. You want to try to do your best, you wanna to fit in but when you realize that you don’t, it’s doesn’t seem to matter as much. As I have gotten older I realize that I’m more comfortable in my skin. As time flows by I realize that the people that I want in my life, won’t ask to be in it. If you don’t want to be in my life, leave. I will never ask you to be in it. If you feel that you want to leave, I am not going to hold you back. I want you to be able to want to stay. I don’t want to be second place, I don’t wanna be the default choice I want to be the one that you choose. If you can’t do that, and if you feel like you’re missing out then by all means walk away. If you think that I’m going to sit here and beg you to stay, you’re wrong. I’m an extremely loyal person and if I can’t get that loyalty back, I don’t want you in my life. It’s not about making the wrong choices. It’s about knowing my worth and I know I am worthy of being loved and being happy. Surrounded by people that want to be with me. Surrounded by people that love me for me. Surrounded by people that accept me for me.

People are like seasons, in the summer you feel the heat of some peoples love. In the winter, you feel the chill and cold you see the real face of people that hide it so much to not show. In the spring, you might find the warmth of the sun that makes you think people can change. Like a rose that is blooming. But just like the autumn season, you see the beautiful colors of change and right before winter the leaves die, the flowers die, and everything dies right before the cold of winter. People are exactly the same way. You may never get to see their real cold side. You may never get to see the blooming rose in the spring and you may never feel the heat of summer, but you definitely get to feel the autumn right before the winter when everything has died.

Some things need to be let go of, I won’t hold you to your word. I won’t even try to win you back. I won’t even try to talk to you to reason with you. Because in the end I chose me. And my choice, I chose to walk away. Because in the end you are not worth fighting for. If you feel, I am not worth fighting for I think we are exactly where we are supposed to be. On the opposite of friendship. You make time for the people who mean something to you. Let this be a lesson to learn that letting go or walking away is more powerful than being surrounded by snakes.

I wish you the best always ~Emma~

YouTube

Check out my new video on finding the path to peace on YouTube. Check the link below and subscribe to my channel to get all my latest videos.

https://youtu.be/w2uIqVUd8ts?si=5mPJKRulZ0XEJgpp

Deal with it

Have you ever had surgery? What for?

Oh yeah I have had so many. Let’s see I have had a face lift, lip fillers, boob lift, butt lift liposuction but who hasn’t right? Nah I haven’t had any of that stuff done.

We have all had surgeries, life before surgery and life after surgery. Too many to name but probably the most painful one was my back surgery.

Probably it was because even after the surgery I still have a lot of pain. I have just learned to make myself stronger and deal with it. I don’t depend on drugs to take the pain away. Sometimes one just has to learn to tolerate the pain. Once it has become part of you the pain doesn’t overwhelm you.

I am not giving advice on to deal with your pain, I am merely saying how I deal with pain. Like the saying goes what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger.

It’s a big scary world out there filled with a lot of pain, hate, anger and just plain evil. You have to learn to be strong and better than that. You can do it my strength comes from God. I hope today you find your strength and don’t allow the world or aches and pains hold you down. Life is too short and beautiful to not embrace the beauty in life. Have a good one. ~Emma~

My Moms laugh

Describe one of your favorite moments.

One of my favorite moments is definitely when I am laughing with my mom. I am talking about those moments when you are both laughing so hard your belly starts to hurt and feel like you are about to pee on yourself. She has such a good laugh and watching her laugh makes me light up. It’s one of the most beautiful moments you can share with your mother and I love it every single time. I am one of the lucky ones that gets to still enjoy that. I am incredibly grateful for that. God has truly blessed me with her.

Love it

How do you feel about cold weather?

I absolutely love the cold. I not only sleep better in the winter but in the summer my room has to be 60 degrees while also using two fans. I want it cold, I want to be under my blankets so I can feel cozy. That is the best way to sleep so for me it’s the best.

Sabbath and reset

How do you balance work and home life?

It’s extremely exhausting but it must be done. If you work all the time and never take time for home life you will burn out. Home life is just as important as work life. Working from home I find that learning to make time for things around the house or even time for myself can be extremely hard. But it is something we all must learn to do and find balance. Saturday which is the Sabbath day, is my day to rest. From Friday night to Saturday night I turn off twitter and every single social media app. It helps me to focus on just being in the moment, spending time with God, reading scripture and listening to Christian music like Family Radio. I also enjoy playing with my team on the game. We play together, I listen to them on Voice Chat and it helps me to just not worry about what is happening outside in the world. Again I focus on resting and not stressing myself out. Though to some it might be waste of time but for me it absolutely resets me for the week. If I have a dog that is staying he chills with me. It is something that I feel really is something that everyone should do. No tv no social media just music to relax to. Listening to soft music praying reflecting being in that moment living in that moment. It truly feels good. But hey that’s just me.

Life lesson

Last week has been hell and I am so happy for the new week to start. Today spent the day or should I say most of the day playing with the team. I used to love playing the game. I guess sometimes I enjoy it more than others but not nearly as much as I used to. I hardly use it as a coping skill anymore. I used to find farming super relaxing. Now it’s just become a nuisance.

I guess most would assume I played the game so much because I was alone. They never understood the main reason for playing the game. After long years of being sick, I lost all social interactions. The game was a way to learn to speak to people again. After years of being in and out of hospital it became therapeutic. I lost my ability to form sentences while being sick. So playing the game helped me to learn to speak again and learn to be around others. Even though it was completely different from normal interactions, it was still very difficult for me.

Still today trying to say the right words can be difficult. Sometimes I run in circles in the conversation trying to break the loop and people don’t understand why. It’s hard to explain so I just don’t anymore. Most people think they understand and can relate but the truth is you can’t. Unless you have lived my life, you will never truly comprehend what it has felt like. I have met so many people that have said well why don’t you just find yourself a nice man. Without ever understanding that it has taken me years to get this far because I couldn’t even speak words. I am not victim nor do I need anyone to feel sorry for me. I know each day I wake up it is blessing for me. When you have lived in complete darkness, you learn to see the world through a different perspective. You embrace the light in the world. You embrace the happy moments in life. You embrace the small tiny things that make you smile. You embrace the silver lining in everything. You learn to embrace that even though you might not be in the sunshine or under a beautiful rainbow, somewhere in the world there is both. That is truly enough for me to have that strength to hold on and keep moving forward. I hope everyone has a beautiful blessed week. May this one be a good week.

What it’s the truth?!?

Someone writes me to tell me how could I be so cold. I completely cut off communication with this individual and they didn’t understand why. Well this person refused to even ask themselves why I would even respond when they haven’t written me in months. Since I decided not to respond to the person instead block them. I will write them here. This message will probably never be read by them but for me it’s therapeutic to close the chapter. I don’t like wasting my time. If I spend time on you, talking to you, making myself available for you and that is taken for granted I will cut you out and move on. Like I have said before many times, I am not a fake person. I will not pretend to be a friend when I am not. I can tolerate people but pretending to be a friend when I am not is something I cannot do. With that said, if you cannot find time to write me or even ask how I am doing for MONTHS after me constantly extending myself to you, please explain to me why I should even care when you slide into my dms. I wish you well, I hope you thrive, for many healthy years to come but again I am not looking back. My focus is on the future, I am doing a lot of different things, my time is extremely limited. So for you to think I am wasting anymore time on this, you should really know me better. Sincerely ~Emma~Mizfit Queen~

Women’s Prime

As I posted on my channel today, a woman’s prime is in her 20s. In your 20s, it is a good time to get married and have children. There are many reasons why this is the case. Most women don’t understand or most people don’t want to understand. A woman’s body is easier to bounce back from pregnancy when they are in their 20s. You have more energy in your 20’s to raise kids. I don’t make the rules it’s just life. Unfortunately, feminism has destroyed that ideology and has imprinted in a whole new generation that you can get married whenever you like, at whatever age, and it’s all the same. It doesn’t matter you can have it all. The truth of the matter is that is a LIE.

Unfortunately, many have bought into the lie. Declining birth rates, a lot of women that are now infertile “maybe” due to birth control, I don’t know. What I do now is the feminism has changed your society drastically. It has not changed it for the better but has changed it for the worse. People get mad when you explain to them that a woman in her prime is usually one that is in her 20s. It’s an inconvenient truth. But it does not change the fact that it is the truth.

I used to think women were able to do anything and it’s not that women can’t. It’s about what we were designed for. God made man in his image and he created woman out of man. She was to be his companion, his wife, the mother of his children, she was supposed to be his equal partner. That changed the moment Eve ate the fruit, now some might argue well I don’t believe that story or it’s just a “story”. I don’t doubt God’s Word. The first verse of the Bible reads…

‘In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.” (Gen 1-3 NIV)’

The reason I state this is because God said let there be light and there was light. His Words were spoken and it formed light. His Word has the power to create life. So I would never doubt His Words because they aren’t just words in a book they are living words from God.

The desire in our society is to recreate the world we are living in. Movies are taken from the past, to be recreated to fit the new world. This has been done through the evil darkness that is called Satan. He tempted, like in the garden Eve and he tempts women daily. Making them believe they are more powerful than man. They don’t need man. They are stronger without having children. Why give that all up when you can be free. To have sex with anyone. No husband, no children . The truth is this leaves a void that cannot be filled by the world. For it wasn’t made by the world, it was by the Creator of the world when he made woman out of man. The reason I go down this rabbit hole of the holy Bible and God is because of just that. We have strayed away from the one that created what we(women) were made for. I understand there are many cases that are exceptions to the rule. I am one of them, that didn’t get the choices I wanted, the life I wanted. But I also believe that maybe it was designed for me that way to reach a different goal, that God wanted for me.

Bringing this back to my original post women are powerful they were made to be mothers, wives, sister, they were made to be the caregivers of the world. While was man to work and provide for his family.

The other inconvenient truth is that as you get older as a woman that has never been married, it is harder to date men. Men are searching for women that are younger. They want to be able to have children, they want to start fresh so they look for younger girls. So a woman that is in her 30s and 40s and 50s the dynamics of what you are looking for in a man or a partner change. Learning to be flexible in what you were searching for and learning that you might end up being a stepmom, but you know what be the best damn stepmom. You might not end up with any kids even if you wanted them, but you have to deal with it.

Life isn’t fair. None of us chose to be born. Yet we were given this beautiful thing called life. It doesn’t last long, you find yourself, in your 20s, then you find yourself in your 30s, then you find yourself in your 40s, and then in your 50s. Life doesn’t stop it keeps going. Death does not pardon anyone, we will all face it one day. just like we will face getting old one day. Instead of embracing, and holding on to fantasies of what we think women should be and what women should do why don’t we inspire the younger generation growing up?

I hope to be the beacon of that hope of all those girls that might be growing up, thinking they have to be independent without a man. Choose to find another path that might seem boring to so many people, but that is truly fulfilling to herself by becoming a mom and raising her kids.

These superficial things like growing old being fives and tens being rated as fives and tens lip, fillers, plastic surgery all of it, is a façade. At the end of the day, the most beautiful thing a woman can own and can be is being a beautiful soul. When I say be the change, you want to see in the world I truly mean it. My generation was completely screwed up with this whole feminist ideology it has destroyed countless relationships. We are nowhere close to knowing exactly the damage that feminism has caused.

I do hope for the future. I hope we can teach the young girls in this world that they can be strong by being a mom. They can be strong by loving their husband. And to all those exceptions out there, like myself, that are not these feminist crazies that life happened. I pray God gives you the strength to find your path to make a difference. The only way we will be able to break the cycle is changing course and breaking the wheel.

I hope you all have a blessed night. You can find my videos on YouTube, TikTok and Rumble all under emmathemizfit I hope you check them out. I truly hope this gives you hope as it has given me. Stay blessed and always be yourself, Emma.