Tag: Grateful

To the One with No Name

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I don’t think about you anymore. I know it’s hard for you to comprehend. I no longer care to have the same worthless conversations about my flaws and shortcomings. I am not perfect never pretended to be anything other than myself.

You are the one that pretended to be someone you aren’t. So I go to bed with my conscience completely clear. I don’t pretend to be something I am not.

I am a difficult person to love and even more difficult to understand. I am fiercely loyal and willing to move mountains for those whom I love. I am upfront and don’t lie about my feelings. I am not fake and will never try to fit into a role because someone else thinks I should. I have my own personal opinions about politics. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Saviour, I will never apologize for that.

I am completely confident in myself. I know I am constantly growing and learning from my mistakes and experiences in life. I can’t apologize for the past because it doesn’t exist for me. I know you can’t understand that and I won’t try to explain it.

I used to think maybe one day you would realize that. That I would always be there for you even in the darkest times of life. But I have mourned our relationship and have buried it.

Just as the dead cannot speak, we move on. The future is before us, will our paths cross again maybe, maybe not. Either way I hold no grudges towards you. You are in very long list of memories or times I no longer visit. Tucked away like a bookmark in a page of a book I will never read again. Always~Emma~

Don’t be Used

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Don’t allow yourself to used. People will always take for granted the things you do. Especially if it is something that you do all the time. It might be something so small they don’t really notice at all that you do it constantly for them.

Now I don’t mean not doing things for others because you expect something in return, no that is not what I am saying. Usually the little things turn into bigger things. Things that are much more time consuming and the more you take on, I just ask one thing.

Does that person appreciate the time you spend on them? I don’t mean by meaningless words but by actions. I have seen people both women and men do things for others that is completely ignored. They aren’t appreciated for the time they lost or for the effort they put into that time.

So my question still remains are you appreciating those around you that do the little things or big things you don’t notice? If not take some time to let them know that you appreciate them for all they do to make your life easier.

Also for those of you that aren’t bring appreciated, give it time but not too much time. Some people will never appreciate what they have. So my advice is don’t waste time on people that do not appreciate you.

It’s one thing to allow people to grow but we all know some people will never grow. They aren’t appreciated fundamentally broken inside and would rather use you than actually cherish you. So again walk away.

Life is too short and too precious to waste time on someone that only cares about themselves. Not everyone is bad but not everyone deserves the benefit of doubt.

Listen to your instincts they are usually right. Trust me I get how hard it is to be alone in this world. But it is better to be alone than around people that suck the life out of you like vampires. God created you with a purpose find out what that purpose is and go after it.

Growing is learning from our mistakes and not repeating bad behaviors of the past. I pray whoever reads this finds the courage and strength to overcome their situation. I pray God may guide you through whatever you face. May He be the light you need on your path.

Remember God wants a relationship with you. You just have to be willing to spend time together and let him show you the way. I pray you have a beautiful blessed week. ~Emma~

Thank God

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Thank you God for waking me up this morning. Thank you for the new day with endless possibilities. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for everything You have bestowed upon me. I am not worthy of you, All Praise to You my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

Surrounded

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Even while sitting by people whom you love doesn’t change the fact they don’t see you. Doesn’t matter how many times you have spoken to them you are still invisible.

I am used to people being this way around me. Doesn’t change how much it still hurts. While also making me stronger for each and every single encounter that comes along.

People surround themselves with people just to stop the silence. But I find in the silence I am more comfortable. Is that good thing? I don’t really have the answer for that. I do it makes me more comfortable in who I am and not whom others expect me to be.

It’s extremely important to learn about yourself while also learning to be comfortable around others. Life is never going to go your way. So it’s best to learn how much you care and how much you don’t.

That doesn’t mean closing everyone off. We need people in our lives. We are built for community. So learning to be alone and learning to be comfortable around others in silence is also good.

One must learn that sometimes just being there can be a blessing. Never stop being the person God made you. Never stop growing and learning from the life He has given you. Smile and filled with gratitude always. ~Emma~

Cat love

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My cat Luna lies by my feet. She doesn’t get the chance very often because it’s usually one of our dogs that visit, that sleep on the bed with me. So when all the dogs go home and it’s just our pets she sneaks onto my bed and sleeps by my feet.~Emma~

Pain & Suffering

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What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

Suffering and pain have helped me to grow the most in life. From not getting married after being proposed to so many times, having no kids, to not even get into relationship for years after the darkest sickest time in my life.

It is through suffering and pain we learn the most about ourselves. In the midst of that darkness, I learned that not giving up makes you stronger.

Many years of absolute darkness, suffering and pain gave me a new perspective. Living in the present was developed after years of struggle with the past. But nothing is more powerful than being able to suffer and changing your life.

Learning to let go of things one can’t change and learning to grow into a better version.

I am incredibly grateful to have been able to go through so many difficult times. If I never experienced that suffering, I would not be the person I am now. I’m grateful to God to have let me suffer so one day I could shine bright.

Blessings are the fruit of life. They are to be enjoyed throughout the bitterness and sweetness of life.~Emma~

Scary moment today

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Today the scariest thing happened. I was eating across from my mom and she suddenly started turning white. I immediately ran over to her grabbed her hands and asked her what was wrong. She wasn’t answering me. It’s like she was staring at me but like nothing I said she could hear. Of course in full panic I tried again, mom what is wrong please tell me? Are you having a stroke please mom tell me? Tears running down my eyes I kept grabbing her hands and face asking please tell me what is wrong? I started saying please just breathe calm down.

Mom, just breathe take deep breaths. I gave her water and she started drinking it. It seems she was chocking and she didn’t even know. She was able to swallow what was in her throat with the water. I was so scared the panic in her eyes the panic that overtook me was absolutely frightening.

I know one day my mom won’t be here and my dad won’t be here. I just pray that’s not anytime soon. Today was such a scary event and I just I was so scared. I know I’m extremely lucky but I still have both my parents when so many don’t. I’m just not ready to let them go not yet. And I pray to God that time doesn’t come anytime soon because that really scares me.

Thank God everything worked out and she’s fine but it really did scare me. I am so grateful to God that I could hug my mom tonight, smell her hair, hold her in my arms, kiss her and say good night.

Just a friendly reminder to live each day like it’s your last. To love like you will never love again. And cherish each moment because you will never know when that moment becomes a memory. ~Always Emma.~

Parents

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Who are your favorite people to be around?

My favorite people to be around is my mom, my sister and my dad. I love hanging around my parents. As they get older, you start to realize that they’re not gonna be around here forever. So you start to treasure the beautiful moments you still have with them they might not last, but at least they’ll be more memories forever.

I know one day it will just be me and my sister, but for now I get to enjoy having the pleasure of both my parents still being around. Though we might fight, and we might disagree on a lot of things. The older they get, they turn into stubborn toddlers. I love them so much and I wouldn’t change them for the world.

Being rich isn’t just a monetary action. I consider myself lucky, and I consider myself extremely rich in the blessings of life. Though it has not always been an easy walk in the park and though we may struggle with the economics in life. Our home is filled with love. Our home is filled with memories. Our home is filled with the joy and laughter that we share together as a family. I know I’m lucky and I thank God every single day when I wake up.



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It’s 3:23 AM in the morning, I can’t sleep. My head is pounding and I have a very bad nasal infection I think or sinus infection. I haven’t made any videos since last Friday because I’ve been sick. Hopefully trying to cure this naturally will get me better in the end. I’ve decided this time. I am not taking any antibiotics but instead I’m going to use nothing but natural healing remedies to try to get me to get better.

I’ve spent time in the sauna with essential oils trying to break up the mucus in my chest and sinuses. My head is stuffy, feel like I can only breathe one side of my nose. Being in the sauna has worked tremendously, but unfortunately, it’s taking a lot longer for me to feel better. I have pretty much lost my voice. It’s very raspy and it hurts when I talk. But I am hoping for a good outcome in the end. So while I take some time out to just let my body heal I hope you have a wonderful amazing week.

I know it’s Tuesday morning, but I’m writing this while I lie in bed waiting to fall asleep, hoping I can sleep well tonight. I hope your Tuesday is a wonderful, beautiful blessed day and week. ~Emma~

Can’t sleep

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I am writing this at three in the morning. Today was a really good day. I can’t complain, but I can’t sleep. I worked out, went to PT, did acupuncture, it really was a good day. I mean every day that you’re alive is a good day isn’t it?

Unfortunately sleeping is my biggest problem right now. My dreams have been filled with nightmares of darkness. I get the same ones over and over.

Most of my dreams are centered around seeing things I shouldn’t see. I am usually walking in the city. There are flames and fires everywhere, there are dead bodies all over the place. Everything is destroyed in that and there I am just walking in the midst of all that chaos and destruction. It’s a dream that I’ve had over and over again. I don’t know why I have it yet I dream it over and over again.

Sometimes I wonder if they will ever stop. Right after I start thinking that I get like five dreams in a row crazy dreams. It’s funny because so many people I ask “do you dream” and their answer is always “no”. When I go to bed the moment I fall asleep I am dreaming all night from dream to dream to dream. Hopefully tonight I get to sleep, even if it’s dream and dream and dream.

I hope tonight you have wonderful dreams always ~Emma~