Tag: friendship

Finding love

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How does one truly find love? Now I am not talking about the love of family, friends or even the love of God. Though all these are important, I am speaking of love from a partner.

I believe there must be a connection to the person, whether that be a person that is attractive to you by some sort of beauty, personality, a quality that makes them more outstanding than others.

I am one that personally goes by the smile I see on a man. For me a man that has a beautiful smile is absolutely a must. Not anything other than the fact that when a man has a genuine beautiful smile it usually means he will make me smile. I love to smile and I love to have someone that makes me laugh.

In a world filled with so much darkness it’s nice to have a companion that can make you smile. Smiling can change anyone’s day. It’s like walking into work and passing by a coworker that greets you with a genuine smile and says have a beautiful day. Somehow that makes you feel better, it brightens your day, it lightens your mood. Did that coworker know all that m, probably not nor did they probably think about it. But that coworker just changed your day. I use this as an example because it has happened to me and I am sure it has happened to you. It’s why I always speak about smiling because you never know whose day you might change just by a smile.

So this brings me back to love a smile is a definite for me. I have not found love yet and maybe when I find it I will know. It is extremely hard to find love today for the simple fact many men search for beauty, youthful girls and I cannot compete with a 20 year old. That just isn’t happening I have accepted that and I am completely fine with that. There are a lot of things girls that are single will do that I won’t. I have respect for myself and expect the same from the man I date.

There has to be more than just a smile that connects two people. There has to be more than attractiveness that connects two people. Both are fleeting and won’t make anything last.

There has to be things other than outside appearances that connect two people to truly make you find that connection. Common goals, common dreams, common beliefs, these are things I truly believe make connections last longer. Leading to the path of find love. Being able to have conversations with that person about anything because you trust them. Or even sit in silence with that person that is a connection very few have.

Love is a feeling. I love music, I love writing, I love walking dogs, I love playing with dogs, I love the seasons and when they change, I love Christmas, I love roses and how they are full of thorns. I love having conversations with men and learning about what they like and don’t like. I love hearing about passions. I love being myself and I love finding someone whom I can be myself with. I love a lot of things.

So I guess finding love is somewhere in between all that. Love is more than just feeling it’s also having that connection with a person. Going through the pain, happiness, sadness together that is love. Have I found it, not yet. But one can never lose hope. Hope is eternal and I like to keep hope alive always.

Fate/Destiny

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Do you believe in fate/destiny?

I do believe in destiny/fate. I believe people come and go in your life the way they are supposed to and leave you learning the lessons you needed to learn. Now does that change the choices we make I don’t believe so. I see it from the perspective that God knows everything. He has already seen how everything will play out and knows exactly how we will choose. He doesn’t stop us from making our own decisions but He already knows the outcome. When we give ourselves to Him completely we are giving into a power beyond ourselves. We are allowing Him to direct us down the path we should go. It’s a form of fate and destiny because we have given Him ourselves to His direction. So I do believe fate plays in our lives just not the way we think it might be playing.

Dragon Stole My Heart: written by Emmanuelle-Rose Grace

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The other side of the world, I still think of you

Coming from two different cultures I still want you

Knowing that it will never be a possibility I still wish for it

Seeing your smile brightens my day

Seeing you laugh, makes me feel

Giddy like I want to play

I dream of the day I get to kiss you

I dream of the day I get to touch you

I dream of your laughter in my ear

My fingers running through your black hair

My hands touching your white pale skin

It’s only in my dreams that I get to see you

It’s only in my dreams that I get to be with you

To hear your laugh, to touch your skin, to feel your lips

The day may never come, that I may never get to do any of these things

But for now, as I fall asleep, I know that I will get to see you there. Good night my sweet Babe

Ordinary World: Duran Duran

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Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue

Thought I heard you talking softly

I turned on the lights, the TV, and the radio

Still I can’t escape the ghost of you

What has happened to it all?

Crazy, some’d say

Where is the life that I recognise? (Gone away)

But I won’t cry for yesterday

There’s an ordinary world

Somehow I have to find

And as I try to make my way

To the ordinary world

I will learn to survive

Passion or coincidence once prompted you to say

“Pride will tear us both apart”

Well, now pride’s gone out the window

Cross the rooftops, run away

Left me in the vacuum of my heart

What is happening to me?

Crazy, some’d say

Where is my friend when I need you most? (Gone away)

But I won’t cry for yesterday

There’s an ordinary world

Somehow I have to find

And as I try to make my way

To the ordinary world

I will learn to survive

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Ahh-ah-ahh

Away-ay, ay-ay-ay-ay

Oh, oh

Papers in the roadside tell of suffering and greed

Fear today, forgot tomorrow

Ooh-ooh

Here besides the news of holy war and holy need

Ours is just a little sorrowed talk

And I don’t cry for yesterday

There’s an ordinary world

Somehow I have to find

And as I try to make my way

To the ordinary world

I will learn to survive

(Every world is my world)

I will learn to survive

(Any world is my world)

I will learn to survive

(Any world is my world)

(Every world is my world)

Be yourself

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If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be, and why?

I know this is going to sound silly but honestly I wouldn’t want to be someone else. What has made me unique, what has made me, ME, are my life experiences. The dark times I have gone through, the happy times and the times of complete insanity shaped me into who I am today. I love completely, I hide nothing, I trust easily, I try to live with no regrets and move forward. I have an open heart and don’t hide my feelings well. I don’t act fake and won’t pretend to be fake. It is a weakness and a strength. So I wouldn’t want to be someone else even for a day.

Advice to my teen self…

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What advice would you give to your teenage self?

The advice I would give myself as a teenager would be, “don’t allow anyone to control you. That starts by learning to not react to others. Learn self discipline and learn to control yourself. Learn that you can’t change anyone. Learn that you can’t control the circumstances of life. Learn to grow from each situation. Each thing that happens in life will be for a reason, even if you can’t see that now. Allowing your emotions to cloud your mind, leads to you making choices you might never have chosen if you had a clear mind. So allow yourself time to reflect. Allow yourself time to hurt. Allow yourself time to be alone, away from others. Allow yourself to be comfortable in the quietness of yourself. Never give anyone the power over you and that can only start by controlling yourself. Most of all don’t forget that no matter what, you are never truly alone. God will always be with you.”

Scars Fade

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How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?

Each life event we go through as human beings we either learn and grow from that experience. Or we learn nothing and stay in a perpetual state of victimhood. We are all struggling, fighting our own demons or just simply fighting life. It is through these trials that we become stronger and learn from our past mistakes. Not taking the time to learn from our past mistakes will allow us to continue making the same mistakes over and over again. I have learned in life that we must change our perspective, focus on the goals we wish to obtain and let go of the things that we cannot change. Doing this, I have allowed myself to become stronger and not defined by my past. This has also allowed me to be open about my feelings, my sickness and not hide who I am. It’s given me great strength. It has me freed me to be myself. Growing constantly into a better version of myself. It has given me the confidence that I need to be comfortable in my own skin. I may not be perfect, I am extremely flawed and extremely chaotic but I have learned there’s only one like me. Through time life events are like scars, they never really go away, but they fade. They stay a part of you as a lesson, but overtime you can hardly see them.

White Flag by Dido

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I know you think that I shouldn’t still love you

Or tell you that

But if I didn’t say it, well I’d still have felt it

Where’s the sense in that?

I promise I’m not trying to make your life harder

Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship

And I won’t put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I’m in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and

Destruction to come back again

And I caused nothing but trouble

I understand if you can’t talk to me again

And if you live by the rules of it’s over

Then I’m sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship

And I won’t put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I’m in love and always will be

And when we meet

Which I’m sure we will

All that was there

Will be there still

I’ll let it pass

And hold my tongue

And you will think

That I’ve moved on

I will go down with this ship

And I won’t put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I’m in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship

And I won’t put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I’m in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship

And I won’t put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag abobe my door

I’m in love and always will be

MOMA

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Name an attraction or town close to home that you still haven’t got around to visiting.

MOMA also known as the Museum of Modern Art. I live right by the City but have yet to actually visit that museum. It’s crazy that someone can live right next to something so many visitors visit yearly and here I am not sure why I haven’t visited. 🤣 It’s on my list of things to do before I leave this area but still haven’t done it. In fairness there are a lot of attractions by me. But yes it is on my list to see before I permanently leave and I will visit it one day just not yet. There are a few places I would like to visit in this area before I leave.