Thank you God for waking me up this morning. Thank you for the new day with endless possibilities. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for everything You have bestowed upon me. I am not worthy of you, All Praise to You my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
Tag: friendship
Surrounded
Even while sitting by people whom you love doesn’t change the fact they don’t see you. Doesn’t matter how many times you have spoken to them you are still invisible.
I am used to people being this way around me. Doesn’t change how much it still hurts. While also making me stronger for each and every single encounter that comes along.
People surround themselves with people just to stop the silence. But I find in the silence I am more comfortable. Is that good thing? I don’t really have the answer for that. I do it makes me more comfortable in who I am and not whom others expect me to be.
It’s extremely important to learn about yourself while also learning to be comfortable around others. Life is never going to go your way. So it’s best to learn how much you care and how much you don’t.
That doesn’t mean closing everyone off. We need people in our lives. We are built for community. So learning to be alone and learning to be comfortable around others in silence is also good.
One must learn that sometimes just being there can be a blessing. Never stop being the person God made you. Never stop growing and learning from the life He has given you. Smile and filled with gratitude always. ~Emma~
Scary moment today
Today the scariest thing happened. I was eating across from my mom and she suddenly started turning white. I immediately ran over to her grabbed her hands and asked her what was wrong. She wasn’t answering me. It’s like she was staring at me but like nothing I said she could hear. Of course in full panic I tried again, mom what is wrong please tell me? Are you having a stroke please mom tell me? Tears running down my eyes I kept grabbing her hands and face asking please tell me what is wrong? I started saying please just breathe calm down.
Mom, just breathe take deep breaths. I gave her water and she started drinking it. It seems she was chocking and she didn’t even know. She was able to swallow what was in her throat with the water. I was so scared the panic in her eyes the panic that overtook me was absolutely frightening.
I know one day my mom won’t be here and my dad won’t be here. I just pray that’s not anytime soon. Today was such a scary event and I just I was so scared. I know I’m extremely lucky but I still have both my parents when so many don’t. I’m just not ready to let them go not yet. And I pray to God that time doesn’t come anytime soon because that really scares me.
Thank God everything worked out and she’s fine but it really did scare me. I am so grateful to God that I could hug my mom tonight, smell her hair, hold her in my arms, kiss her and say good night.
Just a friendly reminder to live each day like it’s your last. To love like you will never love again. And cherish each moment because you will never know when that moment becomes a memory. ~Always Emma.~
Letting you in
What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
The thing I am scared to do the most is to allow people into my heart. Time after time, I have a lot of people in my heart, but never really given my heart away. I built this wall around myself. I know it’s been there. Maybe it’s protecting myself from the bad things that I have experienced.
But as I’ve grown more comfortable being myself, I’ve also learned that in order to truly have a good relationship with another person, you open yourself and be willing to get hurt.
As the years have gone by, I’ve learned to understand what I like about a man while also learning to be more open, act like a grownup and learning a relationship is a partnership you give and take but always have each other’s backs. I wanna be honest, I wanna connect intellectually. I want to feel more than just a connection.
I want him to teach me new things while also learning how to grow together as one. This has been a scary thought for many years. I have thought I had fallen but the truth is I always hid a piece of myself and was never really honest. I hope the day comes I can find someone to be myself around.
Liberation day 
Today was the Inauguration of President Trump. After four years under the Biden administration it finally feels good to be free from him. This isn’t about being a Republican or Democrat it was about being American. I was so tired of trying to explain why I am proud being American.
People from every nation are proud of their homeland, this is my homeland. I am not embarrassed where I come from nor should I be. People are taught to hate themselves for what? I can never understand why you would listen to anyone tell you to hate yourself.
As a person that suffered a devastating severe depression that left me in a mind prison for 10 years. When I was finally freed, thanks to God, it took me forever to feel like myself. As I grow each day not looking back at the past, I learn to be more comfortable in myself.
So again why would I listen to anyone that tells me I need to hate myself. Not only hate myself but also I need to fit in the boxes they decided to make. No thank you, I like being myself. I don’t need to fit into the box you have created for me to live in.
As a Christian I love everyone but I don’t need to be around everyone, nor do I have to accept everyone. Just like everyone doesn’t have to love me or accept me. It’s God I follow, it’s God that I have to answer to, it’s God who saved me from the darkness and it was God that saved Trump.
Was it to save the United States from the insanity it was going through, I do believe that. Regardless of how, Trump was saved to be used by God, that was His plan.
In the end I am just absolutely happy the madness of 100 genders, offending people by just being myself is done. So for me today isn’t just another Inauguration Day, for me it’s a day to celebrate my country. I may have ancestors from Spain but my country is America, my blood is American and my heart is for America.
So to all my fellow patriots I hope you have a beautiful night celebrating winning our country back. Make America Great Again!
Mom
Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?
Being around my mom I have always felt loved. Even when I disappointed her. Even when I fought with her. Even when I was rebellious teen she never stop loving me. She has showed me what unconditional love means.
Dogs
What is your favorite animal?
My favorite animal by far is a dog. I know I am a little biased on this particular subject but I can’t help myself. Dogs love you no matter what. Treat them badly they love you, hurt them they love you, ignore them they love you.
As a dog sitter myself having dogs constantly coming and going makes me enjoy life. These dogs spend days or a day here but they remember.
I will be walking in the park with my sister and a dog I haven’t seen in months will pull his whole family to come see us.
They are such remarkable creatures. They absolutely with their complete heart and that is why I will always favor dogs.
I also believe dogs can sense evil. So again another reason to love your four legged bestie.
Happy New Year
I am praying everyone has a beautiful blessed new year. May God bless you all with love, joyous moments with the people you love, and a healthy year ahead. Stay well my darlings. ~Emma~
Mom
What relationships have a positive impact on you?
The relationship between me and my mom has always had a positive impact on me. Even though we have had our differences and fought many times my mother is my guiding light. She is strong, far stronger than I think I will ever be.
I have seen what she has been able to accomplish throughout her life, raising a family, being a wife, being a grandmother, a role model for her daughters. She would work a full-time job come home and cook a three course meal. My mom always worked. It didn’t matter if she retired. She was always working.
She fights with you but she’s also quick to forgive you. She can be extremely dismissive, but also very attentive. She just is full of absolute love. Like I said she has always been and will always be a positive in my life. 
Christmas Time
During the Christmas season it’s always nice to spend time with the family. It’s also important to remember that we don’t live forever not on this earth. Our time is limited and we never know when our time will come to an end. So this Christmas while spending time with family put down your phone and live in the moment.
Whether it’s watching your favorite movies, eating your favorite foods, dancing your favorite songs, playing your favorite games or even just sitting around chatting with your loved ones. Never forget your time won’t last and neither will the time your loved ones have, so live in the moment with them.
Jesus Christ came to die so that we all may have a chance to be saved by His Grace. So while thinking Christmas might be all about the gifts you get, two gifts you can’t buy. Number 1- time, 2- God’s Grace. They are both a gift that cost nothing but cost everything. They are free yet come at a high cost. Might sound contradictory but it is the truth.
So while spending the time with the people you love remember Jesus came for all of us. He died to save us all. Life will move forward and time forgives no one. So cherish each moment and know that tomorrow may never come. So embrace the love and grace Jesus Christ has given you.
I do hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, filled with love and joy. Remember Jesus Christ is the reason for this season. ~Emma~
Emma the Mizfit 