Tag: focus

Chasing you? Nope that’s a hard pass!

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Disappointed is some thing I have become very familiar with. Just when you start to feel comfortable around people you find out that they are complete jerks. You want to try to do your best, you wanna to fit in but when you realize that you don’t, it’s doesn’t seem to matter as much. As I have gotten older I realize that I’m more comfortable in my skin. As time flows by I realize that the people that I want in my life, won’t ask to be in it. If you don’t want to be in my life, leave. I will never ask you to be in it. If you feel that you want to leave, I am not going to hold you back. I want you to be able to want to stay. I don’t want to be second place, I don’t wanna be the default choice I want to be the one that you choose. If you can’t do that, and if you feel like you’re missing out then by all means walk away. If you think that I’m going to sit here and beg you to stay, you’re wrong. I’m an extremely loyal person and if I can’t get that loyalty back, I don’t want you in my life. It’s not about making the wrong choices. It’s about knowing my worth and I know I am worthy of being loved and being happy. Surrounded by people that want to be with me. Surrounded by people that love me for me. Surrounded by people that accept me for me.

People are like seasons, in the summer you feel the heat of some peoples love. In the winter, you feel the chill and cold you see the real face of people that hide it so much to not show. In the spring, you might find the warmth of the sun that makes you think people can change. Like a rose that is blooming. But just like the autumn season, you see the beautiful colors of change and right before winter the leaves die, the flowers die, and everything dies right before the cold of winter. People are exactly the same way. You may never get to see their real cold side. You may never get to see the blooming rose in the spring and you may never feel the heat of summer, but you definitely get to feel the autumn right before the winter when everything has died.

Some things need to be let go of, I won’t hold you to your word. I won’t even try to win you back. I won’t even try to talk to you to reason with you. Because in the end I chose me. And my choice, I chose to walk away. Because in the end you are not worth fighting for. If you feel, I am not worth fighting for I think we are exactly where we are supposed to be. On the opposite of friendship. You make time for the people who mean something to you. Let this be a lesson to learn that letting go or walking away is more powerful than being surrounded by snakes.

I wish you the best always ~Emma~

Moody girl

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I woke up this morning in such a mood. As I went through the day I felt it was just progressively getting worse. As I sit here at 4:15 pm in the afternoon I can honestly say it’s gotten a lot better. Even earlier when I made my video for the day I said I wasn’t in a good mood. It was just one of those moody days.

I still woke up grateful and thanked God for the new day. Even after slamming my wrist into a window causing my wrist to swell up and see stars. I was able to get the internet to finally work with the help of the technician that came to the house. He helped me with hooking up my Mac book and everything. It was such a help on a day that was just not going well.

Even just chatting with the guy was helpful we spoke about Japan and how I should definitely go visit. 😂

So I say again just because your day might start out moody or crappy, be grateful. It is through the grateful heart that God changed my day.

I even was yelling at God this afternoon, after slamming my wrist. I was like oh it’s pick on Emma today. lol it was a joke and I really didn’t think it was going to change anything and yet here I am grateful for the better mood.

I think sometimes letting out your frustrations out to God as if He is there with you, even if you think He might not be listening, you find out soon enough He is always listening. So have a little faith and just chat with Him. Tell Him your frustrations, tell Him how you feel, let Him know everything and you might be surprised when He does answer.

I hope everyone has a beautiful blessed day.

YouTube

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Check out my new video on finding the path to peace on YouTube. Check the link below and subscribe to my channel to get all my latest videos.

https://youtu.be/w2uIqVUd8ts?si=5mPJKRulZ0XEJgpp

Always grateful

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Waking up in the morning, listening to the fan above my head spin and the air conditioning sound cool my room. I turn to the window the sun is really bright today. Well it’s summer and we are going through a heatwave so I guess sunshine is expected. Today I lay in bed a little longer for only I got to sleep in my bed. No dogs to share the sheets with just me.

The day is starting for me and soon another little puppy angel will be gracing us with her love later in the day.

As I look at the fan spin on the ceiling I say Thank You God. Today is new day and thank you for waking me up.

It might seem like a silly task to do daily but for me being grateful even for just waking up starts me off in a good mood. No matter what lies ahead in the day I prepare myself with thank you for life.

It might be a good day and hard day but either way I am alive to go through it.

Make sure to take time today and be grateful for the day. Not everyone gets the chance to wake up. Not everyone gets the chance to actually get out of bed. Having the right mind set to tackle the day sets you up to overcome whatever obstacles you will face.

So wake up grateful and thank God. I hope you all have a beautiful blessed day.

Bury Sh*t!

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I had this friend, who I thought was a friend that completely turned his back on me. Turns out he wasn’t a friend, he was a user. The moment I no longer became useful he tossed me like garbage. Now this person used to say how loyal he was and all this fake 💩. The truth is I should have known he was fake. I should have known he was a liar. I should have known everything he spoke about was lies. Regardless of him cutting me out I had hoped we would reconcile but I no longer want to reconcile. I have mourned the relationship between us. Today I put the final nail in the coffin. I have moved on and thought I would like to be the better person and wish him luck. I have to be honest I literally don’t give a 💩 what happens to him. It’s not about bitterness or anything I just don’t care. A person can wish well and hope for the best but once you cross the line to where they no longer care. It’s gone nothing you do matters nothing you say matters you are dead to them. And he is dead to me. Mourn the loss of the people that have done you wrong and after that let it go. No use holding on to grudges or even any feelings for them. After you have mourned their death you can move forward never looking back. It’s the best way to heal yourself.

To Vote or Not to Vote?!?

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Do you vote in political elections?

Yes I do vote I think it’s extremely important to vote. Sometimes I believe it won’t make a difference but in truth if I don’t vote I have no reason to complain. Not voting is like not speaking. Regardless of what one might say they still have the right to say it. It might be something no one wants to hear, or might be something worth hearing but if one chooses not to speak they have silenced themselves.

As a Puerto Rican Christian American born in this great beautiful country it’s an honor to live here. To vote for what I believe in. To voice my thoughts, to let my voice be heard. It’s a beautiful thing to have freedoms that many places don’t have in the world.

I am extremely blessed to live here. It’s not perfect but no place on earth is perfect. I vote for my values. Every time I vote I pray before entering the booth. God truly is the Power and he can raise kings or bring them down. So I make sure the person I vote for is one that values America. A person that loves this country. One that believes in the American people. One that wants the American people to thrive. One that believes that We the People have the power and not some lobbyist or agency. It’s what the founders wanted for America. Freedom from tyranny.

As I have gotten older I see more of the value of voting in each election. It’s important for all Americans to vote. If we don’t protect our rights the government won’t. We the People must always protect and remember this is our country and whoever we vote works for us not themselves. If they work for anyone else they needed to be voted out.

Be proud my fellow Americans for God will get us through these dark days. We must trust His Plan. ~Emma~

What it’s the truth?!?

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Someone writes me to tell me how could I be so cold. I completely cut off communication with this individual and they didn’t understand why. Well this person refused to even ask themselves why I would even respond when they haven’t written me in months. Since I decided not to respond to the person instead block them. I will write them here. This message will probably never be read by them but for me it’s therapeutic to close the chapter. I don’t like wasting my time. If I spend time on you, talking to you, making myself available for you and that is taken for granted I will cut you out and move on. Like I have said before many times, I am not a fake person. I will not pretend to be a friend when I am not. I can tolerate people but pretending to be a friend when I am not is something I cannot do. With that said, if you cannot find time to write me or even ask how I am doing for MONTHS after me constantly extending myself to you, please explain to me why I should even care when you slide into my dms. I wish you well, I hope you thrive, for many healthy years to come but again I am not looking back. My focus is on the future, I am doing a lot of different things, my time is extremely limited. So for you to think I am wasting anymore time on this, you should really know me better. Sincerely ~Emma~Mizfit Queen~

Dogs giving me advice?!?

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I was told the other day I need to find myself a partner. So there is a whole back story but what is interesting is how people just assume so much about me. I don’t compare my life to anyone. I have complete trust in God no matter the path I must walk. Even if it means walking this life alone with just Him. I am doing what I thought was the right thing. Which by the way is the right thing to do. But somehow this individual took it upon himself to tell me this and how I need to find someone. Why would it interest someone, my love life? Don’t really know but it seems it was advice no one was asking for. I sure as hell didn’t ask for his opinion or advice, yet somehow he took it upon himself to give me life advice. Kettle meet pot.

At first I was completely offended. How dare this MF call me a loser? I mean isn’t that what you would assume he meant by his words, that was my first response. My second response was far more of and angry AF swearing like this man isn’t even married and he has the audacity to talk about me? Wtf!!!

After much thought and reflection I realized who the fk cares what some a hole thinks. My life doesn’t revolve around some a hole that thinks he can pass judgement on a day in my life that he has never lived.

I am not going to sit here and say “living my best life.” That would be a lie. I struggle, I work, I do a lot of things to keep myself busy. I run a business. I am working on a book. I don’t do one thing, I am doing many things. I spend time on social media because in order to do anything on social media you have to build yourself up. Which means spending time on social media interacting with others on social media that’s how you gain a following. People think that’s not work but it is a lot of work. A lot of time you don’t get paid for.

Either which way I did realize that this person doesn’t know crap about me. Made assumptions based on my time playing the game and came to the conclusion I need a man. Well darling I do need a man. A real man one that can treat me good and is a God fearing Christian man.

My path is the one I am building that God is helping me build. No one knows where it will lead but God does and that is enough for me.

So thank you Mr kettle for pointing out how I need a partner. Hope you got to laugh with friends while calling me a loser. Darling, I have been called worse and to be honest after this blog I will never think about it again. Life is too short to be dwelling on things that can’t be changed. I am focusing on my goals and heading in that direction. So thanks for the advice no one asked for.

Yes that is my rant. Nite y’all. ~Emma~

It’s hard

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What do you do when you are searching for yourself? Trying to become the best version of yourself. Meanwhile trying to find who that person truly is. I became lost long ago. Years went by and now finally I am becoming a better version of myself. Disciplining myself, finding ways to become more independent and more confident in everything I do. For so long, I realized I could not truly be in a relationship as an adult, because I still acted like a child. It’s only through the last few years and especially the last few months that I realize that in order to become a better version of myself, I needed to set goals. I needed to discipline myself. I needed to learn or should I say relearn better coping skills, how to be able to communicate properly with others and not try to fall into old patterns. Patterns that were not healthy but instead create new healthier habits. Create healthier coping skills. Learning to communicate my own feelings, my own thoughts, without getting angry or hurt. While also taking into consideration that not everything will go my way. There are just some things that I just need to let go and learn to accept them as nothing more than fleeting memories, fleeting moments, with fleeting people. Friendships live and friendships die. Time will tell but in the end it is I that will be stronger. Which makes all the pain worth all the lessons I needed to learn to grow. It’s hard I won’t pretend it will be easy. Nothing worth having is ever easy.

Energy

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What things give you energy?

Working out gives me energy, going through one of my bipolar highs gives me a lot of energy. Maybe sometimes a little too much energy it can be overwhelming for others. But two things that give me a lot of energy.