Tag: focus

That’s why

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Is there an age or year of your life you would re-live?

I’m at the age where I realize I am grateful for the life I have lived. It wasn’t what I set out in my life. Many things happened that took me off the path I wanted to be on. But ultimately it was God that made this path I walk on. For His Will and His Purpose I walk it willingly. I don’t know why but His Purpose is what I live for. So no there is no age or year of my life I would re-live.

Everything happens for a reason learning to accept that is hard. But knowing the path you walk is with God makes it much easier to walk.

Life update

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It’s been a really busy week. A good time of the year because we’re extremely busy, but my allergies have been making my life hard. I am still grateful for each and every single day that I get to wake up in the morning. I thank God every single day for each and every single moment that I get to spend with my mom, my dad, my sister the dog, working out, eating healthy, and and not trying to spend too much time watching C dramas

I have spent more time this week, not being on TikTok, YouTube, or any other social media platform. Mainly because there’s a lot of reasons for you to get angry and I don’t like to get angry. So for my own peace of mind, I have decided to take some time off of the social media platforms.

I am more focused on my relationship with God than I am about other people and their drama and bringing that person down and all the stuff that’s so unnecessary right now. Life is difficult enough. We don’t really need to be fighting for every single thing. I am trying to get my mom to work out more because she’s elderly and I’m trying to prepare her for the cruise next year.

So I spend a lot of time working out with her to get her into shape that makes her more flexible. Not just flexible, but also stronger so that she could have more stamina when we’re walking around. I don’t think people realize how hard it is to take care of your parents as they get older. It’s like dealing with toddlers. Except for toddlers, you can put your foot down but with your parents, they’re adults and you don’t want to belittle them. They’ve worked hard all their lives, and they do deserve to kind of like sit back. Even if I disagree with all the time that they sit back and take naps.

But I am in a really good headspace right now and I think that is the best part of my life right now. I am becoming more disciplined, focusing more on getting stronger building a foundation and spending time with my family and God.

I hope you are all doing well and I hope you have a wonderful beautiful weekend. Stay blessed.~~ Emma~~

To the One with No Name

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I don’t think about you anymore. I know it’s hard for you to comprehend. I no longer care to have the same worthless conversations about my flaws and shortcomings. I am not perfect never pretended to be anything other than myself.

You are the one that pretended to be someone you aren’t. So I go to bed with my conscience completely clear. I don’t pretend to be something I am not.

I am a difficult person to love and even more difficult to understand. I am fiercely loyal and willing to move mountains for those whom I love. I am upfront and don’t lie about my feelings. I am not fake and will never try to fit into a role because someone else thinks I should. I have my own personal opinions about politics. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Saviour, I will never apologize for that.

I am completely confident in myself. I know I am constantly growing and learning from my mistakes and experiences in life. I can’t apologize for the past because it doesn’t exist for me. I know you can’t understand that and I won’t try to explain it.

I used to think maybe one day you would realize that. That I would always be there for you even in the darkest times of life. But I have mourned our relationship and have buried it.

Just as the dead cannot speak, we move on. The future is before us, will our paths cross again maybe, maybe not. Either way I hold no grudges towards you. You are in very long list of memories or times I no longer visit. Tucked away like a bookmark in a page of a book I will never read again. Always~Emma~

Can’t sleep

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I am writing this at three in the morning. Today was a really good day. I can’t complain, but I can’t sleep. I worked out, went to PT, did acupuncture, it really was a good day. I mean every day that you’re alive is a good day isn’t it?

Unfortunately sleeping is my biggest problem right now. My dreams have been filled with nightmares of darkness. I get the same ones over and over.

Most of my dreams are centered around seeing things I shouldn’t see. I am usually walking in the city. There are flames and fires everywhere, there are dead bodies all over the place. Everything is destroyed in that and there I am just walking in the midst of all that chaos and destruction. It’s a dream that I’ve had over and over again. I don’t know why I have it yet I dream it over and over again.

Sometimes I wonder if they will ever stop. Right after I start thinking that I get like five dreams in a row crazy dreams. It’s funny because so many people I ask “do you dream” and their answer is always “no”. When I go to bed the moment I fall asleep I am dreaming all night from dream to dream to dream. Hopefully tonight I get to sleep, even if it’s dream and dream and dream.

I hope tonight you have wonderful dreams always ~Emma~

Christmas Time

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During the Christmas season it’s always nice to spend time with the family. It’s also important to remember that we don’t live forever not on this earth. Our time is limited and we never know when our time will come to an end. So this Christmas while spending time with family put down your phone and live in the moment.

Whether it’s watching your favorite movies, eating your favorite foods, dancing your favorite songs, playing your favorite games or even just sitting around chatting with your loved ones. Never forget your time won’t last and neither will the time your loved ones have, so live in the moment with them.

Jesus Christ came to die so that we all may have a chance to be saved by His Grace. So while thinking Christmas might be all about the gifts you get, two gifts you can’t buy. Number 1- time, 2- God’s Grace. They are both a gift that cost nothing but cost everything. They are free yet come at a high cost. Might sound contradictory but it is the truth.

So while spending the time with the people you love remember Jesus came for all of us. He died to save us all. Life will move forward and time forgives no one. So cherish each moment and know that tomorrow may never come. So embrace the love and grace Jesus Christ has given you.

I do hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, filled with love and joy. Remember Jesus Christ is the reason for this season. ~Emma~

Busy bee

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Life has been extremely busy for me. Taking time out to catch up on just personal things has been exhausting. I can’t complain though I am alive and that is always a good thing. I am incredibly blessed and grateful to God for all the blessings He gives me. I hope as the Christmas season is in full bloom I hope you are blessed. May you remember a child was born to save us all. May your heart never forget that it is through that child we are reborn. May this season be a blessing to you all. Filled with love, laughter and pure joy, that you will remember each moment with a smile. Even through the darkest of times there is always something to be grateful for, never forget that. Have a blessed week. ~Emma~

When you used to…

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I asked last year around September for guidance from God. My prayer is what one of the books I read would be called “dangerous prayers”.

It’s not dangerous prayers that cause any danger. But it’s more along the line praying for something and not knowing how much time it will take or what you will lose in the process. Learning that it’s not going to be given in your time nor the way you want it.

A lot of Christians don’t really believe in dangerous prayers I am one of the ones that has seen dangerous prayers answered over and over again..

Again, dangerous prayers are not causing danger or even asking for some sort of dangerous activity to happen. I guess you can say it’s more of be careful what you’re praying for because you might actually get what you prayed for.

So like I said last September 2023 I prayed for God to guide me closer to him no matter what. In the prayer, I asked God if there is anything in my life that is distracting me or pulling me away from you I want it removed. I don’t care what I lose or the pain caused I want to be closer to You oh Lord.

So a couple months go by and I started seeing people that I was close to just kind of like disappear. So it started with a person I was close to. We spoke daily a lot and as time went on, I started to see a shift and at first I wanted to ignore it pretend like that’s not what’s going on, but then I started to see the distance and it was clear.

After we stop speaking and months went by earlier this year, I started to realize it was God pulling that person out of my life. The reason that God pulled that person out of my life was because that person was a distraction. Someone might say that that’s cruel to say. But for me, my goal has always been to get closer to God. My life mission has always been to be one of God‘s Warriors.

So here we are in November 2024, a year has passed and I haven’t spoken to this person in a good 10 or 11 months. Do I miss the person? Yeah sometimes. But I have also learned to mourn the relationship and move on.

Just today another thing that I loved doing became meh. I wasn’t excited I wasn’t thrilled to be doing it. I just felt nothing. One must be prepared that when you ask for something and you ask obstacles or anything to be removed, they will be removed. Your love for them will be taken away. Your desire to be filled with them will be destroyed if that’s what you asked for.

There are other things that have changed. My love for a lot of things have changed. I spend more time in prayer, more time writing, more time in self-reflection, learning more about myself, and learning to grow from my past mistakes.

It is in this waiting season that I have learned that God has stripped away a lot of distractions from my life. Things that I held onto that I didn’t even think were distractions, but they were. They were distractions from me, developing a relationship with God and for me developing into a better individual for myself, for my family, for society, and for God.

It is in this waiting season that I have learned to let go of things that don’t matter. I have learned to forgive those that hurt me in the past. I have learned that the most important thing in life is to cherish each and every single moment you are alive.

I have learned to embrace each and every single moment. Whether it’s spending a Sunday cleaning with my niece, nephew, my sister, my mom, my dad and my brother, in the garage hanging up Christmas lights. Whether it’s spending Sabbath with my family and drinking cappuccinos with the new Nespresso machine. It’s in those little moments that we’re making memories that will last a lifetime. It’s in those moments that we are truly living life.

I don’t know what tomorrow might bring but I definitely know. I trust God to bring me through tomorrow.

So has God answered my dangerous prayer? The answer to that is yes and no. He is definitely answering the prayer. I just haven’t gotten to the end yet.

I did ask for more than just becoming closer to God. That was my main prayer and still my main objective. But there’s one little part of that prayer that I’m waiting for. I have constantly waited, and God has referred to this moment as the waiting season.

Sometimes we become impatient during the waiting season, but we have to remember that when you ask for something from God he’s going to deliver. Whether it’s through a dangerous prayer like I said before or just a prayer he will answer.

I know a lot of people don’t believe in dangerous prayers. But I can tell you based on my own history dangerous prayers are real just be careful and be ready for the consequences of asking such prayers. It’s all about trust baby. It’s all about trust and having faith in Jesus Christ to answer your prayer.

Remember, God always answers in his time not our own. 

I hope this is a lesson for you to learn and I hope you have a wonderful, beautiful blessed week. Love always, Emma. 

Absolutely!!!

Emma the MizfitLeave a comment

Do you trust your instincts?

I absolutely trust my instincts without a doubt. I was one that used to doubt myself and my own instincts. But as I got older and more aware of how people behave it became extremely clear.

We all meet people the kind of people that don’t sit right with us. It’s not judging them without knowing them or anything like that. It’s more like something inside you is telling you, something about this person gives off this strange vibe.

We write it off as being paranoid or just thinking about it too much. Later on we find out boom the person wasn’t trust worthy, and completely backstabbed you.

I used to a be a firm believer give everyone a chance. If I am kind and loving they will be the same. Instead I lost a lot of time on people that didn’t deserve to be in my life. I even lost myself for a time, chasing after a bunch of losers I thought were friends. They weren’t friends, they were users.

You know the kind of people that use you for a time and then turn their back on you like if you meant nothing.

That is because you meant nothing to them. You were replaced with someone else. People like this don’t deserve to be in your life. Even if they have changed and you meet again wish them luck and move on.

I feel strongly that our basic instincts are God given and Him speaking to us. But we are so used to thinking that can’t be true. I strongly believe and feel that your instincts turn out right because it was God warning you. So instead of not listening to our instincts we need to learn to trust them. Because there is a reason God gave us this gift. Learn to use it to protect yourself.

I have learned many lessons the older I got and the first lesson was always trust my instincts. Because every single time it has been right. Hope you all have a beautiful day.

Thankful 🙏🏼

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What motivates you?

God is what motivates me. He has given me so much. He has never turned His back on me. He has brought me out of the darkness. He is what gives me strength to get up each and every single day. He has given me clarity. He has helped me to focus. He is my best friend. He is what motivates me.

Chasing you? Nope that’s a hard pass!

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Disappointed is some thing I have become very familiar with. Just when you start to feel comfortable around people you find out that they are complete jerks. You want to try to do your best, you wanna to fit in but when you realize that you don’t, it’s doesn’t seem to matter as much. As I have gotten older I realize that I’m more comfortable in my skin. As time flows by I realize that the people that I want in my life, won’t ask to be in it. If you don’t want to be in my life, leave. I will never ask you to be in it. If you feel that you want to leave, I am not going to hold you back. I want you to be able to want to stay. I don’t want to be second place, I don’t wanna be the default choice I want to be the one that you choose. If you can’t do that, and if you feel like you’re missing out then by all means walk away. If you think that I’m going to sit here and beg you to stay, you’re wrong. I’m an extremely loyal person and if I can’t get that loyalty back, I don’t want you in my life. It’s not about making the wrong choices. It’s about knowing my worth and I know I am worthy of being loved and being happy. Surrounded by people that want to be with me. Surrounded by people that love me for me. Surrounded by people that accept me for me.

People are like seasons, in the summer you feel the heat of some peoples love. In the winter, you feel the chill and cold you see the real face of people that hide it so much to not show. In the spring, you might find the warmth of the sun that makes you think people can change. Like a rose that is blooming. But just like the autumn season, you see the beautiful colors of change and right before winter the leaves die, the flowers die, and everything dies right before the cold of winter. People are exactly the same way. You may never get to see their real cold side. You may never get to see the blooming rose in the spring and you may never feel the heat of summer, but you definitely get to feel the autumn right before the winter when everything has died.

Some things need to be let go of, I won’t hold you to your word. I won’t even try to win you back. I won’t even try to talk to you to reason with you. Because in the end I chose me. And my choice, I chose to walk away. Because in the end you are not worth fighting for. If you feel, I am not worth fighting for I think we are exactly where we are supposed to be. On the opposite of friendship. You make time for the people who mean something to you. Let this be a lesson to learn that letting go or walking away is more powerful than being surrounded by snakes.

I wish you the best always ~Emma~