My mood right now— Happier Than Ever by: Billie Eilish

When I’m away from you, I’m happier than ever
Wish I could explain it better
I wish it wasn’t true
Give me a day or two to think of something clever
To write myself a letter
To tell me what to do, mm-mmm

Do you read my interviews?
Or do you skip my avenue? (My avenue)
When you (when you) said you were passing through
Was I even on your way?
I knew when I asked you to (when I asked you to)
Be cool about what I was telling you
You’d do the opposite of what you said you’d do (what you said you’d do)
And I’d end up more afraid

Don’t say it isn’t fair
You clearly weren’t aware that you made me miserable
So if you really wanna know

When I’m away from you (when I’m away from you)
I’m happier than ever (happier than ever)
Wish I could explain it better (wish I could explain it better)
I wish it wasn’t true (wish it wasn’t true), mmm-hmm

You call me again, drunk in your Benz
Driving home under the influence
You scared me to death, but I’m wasting my breath
‘Cause you only listen to your fucking friends
I don’t relate to you
I don’t relate to you, no
‘Cause I’d never treat me this shitty
You made me hate this city

And I don’t talk shit about you on the internet
Never told anyone anything bad
‘Cause that shit’s embarrassing, you were my everything
And all that you did was make me fucking sad

So don’t waste the time I don’t have
And don’t try to make me feel bad
I could talk about every time that you showed up on time
But I’d have an empty line ’cause you never did
Never paid any mind to my mother or friends
So I shut ’em all out for you ’cause I was a kid

You ruined everything good
Always said you were misunderstood
Made all my moments your own
Just fucking leave me alone

Storms Wrath

Storms Wrath

Her heart breaks at his words

Crushing the red dried roses that were once hers

Leaving nothing but dark red broken petals falling towards the grass

As the she lets out a howl from deep within

Crushed by his hateful words of deceit

The stab wounds going deep in her soul

She goes blue like a chill from winter’s brutal cold

Pain freezing her every thought

As her heart stops beating so damn hard

Tears staining her face with marks

She tries to understand what came her way

Lost for words with nothing left to say

Falling to the ground, she grabs the wounds on her way

His words of hate, breaking her once beautiful face

Written by: Emmanuelle-Rose Grace

Blue Rose

Blue Rose

She tries hard to forget the words that made her feel all alone

Her pulse speeds up trying to catch air into her lungs

Why did she allow him in her heart?

She knows he was dangerous from the start

She thinks of all the mistakes she has done

One after the other she tries to shake all the thoughts

The cruelty in his words

The lies he told

Made her feel safe within his embrace

She stares in the mirror at her face

Wondering who is standing in her place

She tries to remember the girl she once was

The way her smile and laughter lite the room

Her presence was something to behold

Or at least that is what she was told

Her eyes filled with tears

The smug of black that stain her red cheeks

Her heart has been torn out of her chest

She tries to breath out but her lungs forget

Slowly she falls to the floor

Darkness takes a hold of her and she is no more

She screams in pain but doesn’t make a sound

Death was the only escape she sought

Written by: Emmanuelle-Rose Grace

Found in my tea ☕️

Last night I found the most beautiful words in my Yogi Tea. It goes “There is nothing like you, there was nothing like you, and there shall never be nothing like you.” We are all different, no one knows the others pain or the trials they face. We each face our own journey through this life. I just pray you find the path to happiness.

The Unicorn

My dearest love,

I know these words will find you one day, after I have long forgotten the way you taste. But in order to let you go I must tell you how much of my mind you once held in your hands. My love for you was one of the purest forms of lust, you will never get to know. For you were driven by the need for wealth, greed and to be so the great. Never knowing, you were the greatest to me and wealth is a matter of the value you place on someone’s heart. Most people search the world all their lives for the devotion I was willing to give you. But you felt your calling was bigger than what we could have had. As sadness fills my heart I still wonder what might have been if you had made the right choices. Maybe that’s the one of the things we will never truly know. It is true life spins us in different circles and love doesn’t pay bills or feed you but my sweet love, living the life you have now is not living. Well, what does selfishness, greed, loveless relationships, meaningless sex, drugs, alcohol, or the endless admiration, truly cost? The only thing that life brings is a huge hole inside yourself, that you are constantly trying to fill with anything that will give instant gratification. The problem with instant gratification is just that, it doesn’t last, at the end of the rush and when the dust settles you are left empty and hollowed inside. Thinking to yourself what am I missing? I have money, women, houses, cars, I can travel anywhere, I am doing good in the world, I am fighting for those without a voice, I am fighting for the world, what am I missing???? I would say me but to be honest the truth is your missing God. I myself, my sweet love, found myself in the very same dilemma you find yourself in now. I had everything, meaningless sex, empty relationships, men giving me what I want, money, anything could have been mine. But I lost myself in that life and found the only thing that I was truly missing was God. So, as these words reach you and you find yourself wondering who is this from? Could this be from the unicorn I have searched for so long, the missing piece I need to be complete? The unicorn writes to you to say, I can never make you happy! For you have no idea what love truly is, as I myself did not know what love was till the day I found God. Through finding Him, I found what love truly is and I was able to see my love for you was not love. Just a desire to be with you, to kiss you, to touch you, to feel your hands in mine, my legs wrapped around you, to have tasted you, to have smelled you, to have run my hands through your hair, to have had you inside me, nothing more than desire. An animal instinct to be with you, a carnal demand. The truth of the matter is I would have gotten bored and tossed you aside like the others. The relationship I have with God has freed me to be the person I am today. Compassionate to others, willing to let my feelings be hurt so others feel better, setting my dreams aside to let another shine, to love others with no expectations of receiving love in return, and seeing the world for all it is. My eyes were opened, I enjoy fighting with my family, making up with them, laughing with them, being passionate about things people think are completely crazy and I love being different. I love being me with all my scars inside and out. I love sitting on my bed at night staring into the ceiling speaking to the Creator of the Universe, and knowing He is there listening to every word even when I rant for an hour. My endless need to find the truth and knowing in my heart only God holds the answers I seek. If there is anything I wish you to take from this is the book of Psalms. During the worse parts of my dark life that book was my life line. And to this day the book of Psalms is my favorite book of the Bible. King David was a very bad man but regardless of being such a bad man Jesus refers to David as the one after his heart. Even with King David’s flaws God saw into his heart and reading that book you can feel David’s pain, his passion, his sadness and his love for God. As I started writing this I had no intention of saying any of this but God is at the center of my heart and I can’t help it, He is My Lord. So, as I end this hoping one day these words will reach you. I pray you do find Him. There is no secret way of finding God, there is no number you can call, there is no one single place to find Him. Get on your knees and call to Him. Tefillah which means prayer in Hebrew. Prayer is the only way to talk to God. On your knees cry out to God open your heart completely to Him and you will see Him show up. You have to be willing to listen to His Words, not what you want to hear. For His Words might not be what you want to hear and most of the time His Plans are never what you think your plans should be. Open your heart to Him, my sweet, I pray this finds one day.

Nothing but Love,

The Unicorn

Written by: Emmanuelle-Rose Grace