Christmas Time

During the Christmas season it’s always nice to spend time with the family. It’s also important to remember that we don’t live forever not on this earth. Our time is limited and we never know when our time will come to an end. So this Christmas while spending time with family put down your phone and live in the moment.

Whether it’s watching your favorite movies, eating your favorite foods, dancing your favorite songs, playing your favorite games or even just sitting around chatting with your loved ones. Never forget your time won’t last and neither will the time your loved ones have, so live in the moment with them.

Jesus Christ came to die so that we all may have a chance to be saved by His Grace. So while thinking Christmas might be all about the gifts you get, two gifts you can’t buy. Number 1- time, 2- God’s Grace. They are both a gift that cost nothing but cost everything. They are free yet come at a high cost. Might sound contradictory but it is the truth.

So while spending the time with the people you love remember Jesus came for all of us. He died to save us all. Life will move forward and time forgives no one. So cherish each moment and know that tomorrow may never come. So embrace the love and grace Jesus Christ has given you.

I do hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, filled with love and joy. Remember Jesus Christ is the reason for this season. ~Emma~

Dream last night..

Dream 4:15 am

I don’t want to write this but I will. For I believe this is the future and death of my mother. The day is sad and I hear people crying. Looking around I don’t know what is happening. Somber faces with looks of pity on every face. I am filled with this immense amount of despair within my heart. My best friend is gone. My confident, my anchor, my love is gone. Words I speak in front of faceless eyes. Condolences they offer as the smell of flowers fill my mind. The joy and laughter I was once knew has disappeared from the world I knew. More days to hug her and say I love you. More time go tell her my stories. More time to just breathe the air with her. We knew the day would come but the feeling of despair and heartbreak I wasn’t prepared for. My heart feels a part has died. I see all around but I can’t breathe I don’t know why. It feels like a dream will I wake up. The sun is shining it’s a beautiful day outside not a cloud in the sky. I can’t see myself but I know I am there. I see my siblings with me right there. My chest feels heavy when I try to breathe but I know God let me see. The dream is of the day I lose my mom. My rock and the foundation of whom I am. She loved me at my worst and held me at my best. Today I wake from this dream knowing she is still in my world. Don’t know how much time I have but God showed me this point. The reason I don’t know. I write this filled with joy and sadness in my heart. I know I will see her when I get up. But one day when this dream has come to pass I will know God gave me this moment to make it last. Even as I write these words trying not to stress I know my love for her will never end. Death may come one day to take her from us. But today I thank God for another day with my mom. 

This was a dream I had on December 10 at 4 am. I wrote as much as I could remember and try to keep the details right in my head. Laying in the dark I try not to feel dread I hope this doesn’t happen for many years to come. But I know God gave me this dream to show whatever happens next. I also believe he showed me to tell me I will be able to get through this dark time. The sky is a color blue I have never seen before. Birds chirping in the air. The spring breeze flows through the air. I look to the sky with deep sorrow in my eyes I love you mom are the only words to escape my silent mind. Tears filled in my sister’s eyes she hugs me as we cry. I wake up with pain and shocked did I just see her death. I don’t know but it was a dream I felt. A little shaken I hear my sister take out the dogs. I look in the camera she is feeding Luna with QVC on. I get up to go pee I should be asleep. But here I write this of the dream I just had.

When you used to…

I asked last year around September for guidance from God. My prayer is what one of the books I read would be called “dangerous prayers”.

It’s not dangerous prayers that cause any danger. But it’s more along the line praying for something and not knowing how much time it will take or what you will lose in the process. Learning that it’s not going to be given in your time nor the way you want it.

A lot of Christians don’t really believe in dangerous prayers I am one of the ones that has seen dangerous prayers answered over and over again..

Again, dangerous prayers are not causing danger or even asking for some sort of dangerous activity to happen. I guess you can say it’s more of be careful what you’re praying for because you might actually get what you prayed for.

So like I said last September 2023 I prayed for God to guide me closer to him no matter what. In the prayer, I asked God if there is anything in my life that is distracting me or pulling me away from you I want it removed. I don’t care what I lose or the pain caused I want to be closer to You oh Lord.

So a couple months go by and I started seeing people that I was close to just kind of like disappear. So it started with a person I was close to. We spoke daily a lot and as time went on, I started to see a shift and at first I wanted to ignore it pretend like that’s not what’s going on, but then I started to see the distance and it was clear.

After we stop speaking and months went by earlier this year, I started to realize it was God pulling that person out of my life. The reason that God pulled that person out of my life was because that person was a distraction. Someone might say that that’s cruel to say. But for me, my goal has always been to get closer to God. My life mission has always been to be one of God‘s Warriors.

So here we are in November 2024, a year has passed and I haven’t spoken to this person in a good 10 or 11 months. Do I miss the person? Yeah sometimes. But I have also learned to mourn the relationship and move on.

Just today another thing that I loved doing became meh. I wasn’t excited I wasn’t thrilled to be doing it. I just felt nothing. One must be prepared that when you ask for something and you ask obstacles or anything to be removed, they will be removed. Your love for them will be taken away. Your desire to be filled with them will be destroyed if that’s what you asked for.

There are other things that have changed. My love for a lot of things have changed. I spend more time in prayer, more time writing, more time in self-reflection, learning more about myself, and learning to grow from my past mistakes.

It is in this waiting season that I have learned that God has stripped away a lot of distractions from my life. Things that I held onto that I didn’t even think were distractions, but they were. They were distractions from me, developing a relationship with God and for me developing into a better individual for myself, for my family, for society, and for God.

It is in this waiting season that I have learned to let go of things that don’t matter. I have learned to forgive those that hurt me in the past. I have learned that the most important thing in life is to cherish each and every single moment you are alive.

I have learned to embrace each and every single moment. Whether it’s spending a Sunday cleaning with my niece, nephew, my sister, my mom, my dad and my brother, in the garage hanging up Christmas lights. Whether it’s spending Sabbath with my family and drinking cappuccinos with the new Nespresso machine. It’s in those little moments that we’re making memories that will last a lifetime. It’s in those moments that we are truly living life.

I don’t know what tomorrow might bring but I definitely know. I trust God to bring me through tomorrow.

So has God answered my dangerous prayer? The answer to that is yes and no. He is definitely answering the prayer. I just haven’t gotten to the end yet.

I did ask for more than just becoming closer to God. That was my main prayer and still my main objective. But there’s one little part of that prayer that I’m waiting for. I have constantly waited, and God has referred to this moment as the waiting season.

Sometimes we become impatient during the waiting season, but we have to remember that when you ask for something from God he’s going to deliver. Whether it’s through a dangerous prayer like I said before or just a prayer he will answer.

I know a lot of people don’t believe in dangerous prayers. But I can tell you based on my own history dangerous prayers are real just be careful and be ready for the consequences of asking such prayers. It’s all about trust baby. It’s all about trust and having faith in Jesus Christ to answer your prayer.

Remember, God always answers in his time not our own. 

I hope this is a lesson for you to learn and I hope you have a wonderful, beautiful blessed week. Love always, Emma. 

Absolutely!!!

Do you trust your instincts?

I absolutely trust my instincts without a doubt. I was one that used to doubt myself and my own instincts. But as I got older and more aware of how people behave it became extremely clear.

We all meet people the kind of people that don’t sit right with us. It’s not judging them without knowing them or anything like that. It’s more like something inside you is telling you, something about this person gives off this strange vibe.

We write it off as being paranoid or just thinking about it too much. Later on we find out boom the person wasn’t trust worthy, and completely backstabbed you.

I used to a be a firm believer give everyone a chance. If I am kind and loving they will be the same. Instead I lost a lot of time on people that didn’t deserve to be in my life. I even lost myself for a time, chasing after a bunch of losers I thought were friends. They weren’t friends, they were users.

You know the kind of people that use you for a time and then turn their back on you like if you meant nothing.

That is because you meant nothing to them. You were replaced with someone else. People like this don’t deserve to be in your life. Even if they have changed and you meet again wish them luck and move on.

I feel strongly that our basic instincts are God given and Him speaking to us. But we are so used to thinking that can’t be true. I strongly believe and feel that your instincts turn out right because it was God warning you. So instead of not listening to our instincts we need to learn to trust them. Because there is a reason God gave us this gift. Learn to use it to protect yourself.

I have learned many lessons the older I got and the first lesson was always trust my instincts. Because every single time it has been right. Hope you all have a beautiful day.

The Twins

The twins came by, being around them always makes me happy. I will never understand how women can say they will be happy without having kids. I mean I know I have no choice in the matter and many women face that reality every day. But for those that actively seek to not have kids I will never understand.

I remember when the twins were born what it was like holding them. Having them napping on top of me was the best feeling in the world. Even watching them grow up is a joy. When they took their first steps to talking, they are some of the best memories I have.

For me it’s even better because I don’t remember my past. So when the twins were born it was like the first time I got to hold my niece or nephew. Now that isn’t true because I have an older niece but the truth is I don’t remember the memories with her.

Though I don’t remember them I know she was extremely important to me. I have heard stories of how close we were but the illness took that all from me.

Being with the twins even for an hour or two reminds me each day is precious. We may never get another chance to enjoy being around the ones we love. Life is extremely short and goes by so fast. The best moments are just being able to enjoy sharing silly moments with each other.

Even if that’s trying on different wigs or playing GTA, for me those are the best moments. ~Emma~

I am good!

What alternative career paths have you considered or are interested in?

I am a writer, dog sitter and content creator. So I think I have chosen my alternative career. I once worked in the business world and now I get to do what I want. I don’t think there is anything better than that.

No one

When you think of the word “successful,” who’s the first person that comes to mind and why?

I guess it would depend on what I feel true success looks like. For instance I believe successful for me would be to have gotten married, had kids, raised those kids, taking care of my parents and family while also having a good strong relationship with my husband and God. Now have I gotten that no. But I have been successful in overcoming the obstacles that were in my way of life. I know many people that are successful in different areas but for me one person does not come to mind because my view of “success” no one has reached.

Buttons pushed

When you are surrounded by people that are constantly shutting you down maybe you need space from them. If they can’t accept you the way you are, they don’t deserve you. Walk away for your own mental health. Staying positive and having negative experiences isn’t good. So just walk away from them. Even if they are family. Simply learn to keep space and learn to not engage. Hopefully the situation will get better with you learning to just walk away from them.