Tag: family

Surrounded

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Even while sitting by people whom you love doesn’t change the fact they don’t see you. Doesn’t matter how many times you have spoken to them you are still invisible.

I am used to people being this way around me. Doesn’t change how much it still hurts. While also making me stronger for each and every single encounter that comes along.

People surround themselves with people just to stop the silence. But I find in the silence I am more comfortable. Is that good thing? I don’t really have the answer for that. I do it makes me more comfortable in who I am and not whom others expect me to be.

It’s extremely important to learn about yourself while also learning to be comfortable around others. Life is never going to go your way. So it’s best to learn how much you care and how much you don’t.

That doesn’t mean closing everyone off. We need people in our lives. We are built for community. So learning to be alone and learning to be comfortable around others in silence is also good.

One must learn that sometimes just being there can be a blessing. Never stop being the person God made you. Never stop growing and learning from the life He has given you. Smile and filled with gratitude always. ~Emma~

Hope

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It should never shock me how cruel people can be but somehow it always shocks me. In the times we live in, it’s extremely easy to become complacent with our environment. One can become completely desensitized at every thing around them. No matter how evil or horrific the stories we hear, we still live our lives unchanged. Getting up each morning, and moving through life like it’s just another day.

Each morning I create a vlog. I post it on YouTube, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook. To everyone else it seems dumb and stupid to post the same greeting each time. It goes “Good morning you wonderful amazing beautiful people I hope you woke up thanking God for the wonderful day He has bestowed on upon you.”

Each day it’s the same I change it up but it’s mostly the same greeting each day. I just want to spread words of comfort to anyone who may come across my story. I don’t care if they subscribe, like, or even care about me. I want them to remember to thank God for the beautiful day of life God has given them.

No matter how cruel and evil the world we might live in. I want everyone to start the day with a grateful heart. No matter how small it might be, it will always make a difference in someone else’s day. I might not be the biggest person on TikTok, YouTube or any other platform but for me making those videos not only helps me, they help to speak to others.

Just a simple post to remind others you are not alone. You might feel alone. You might feel lost. You might feel like complete 💩. You might feel helpless. You might feel hopeless. I once felt that way and with each post I hope anyone that comes across them feels my hope. I know I can’t change the world but hopefully they can feel my hope through the screen.

So as I write this I pray that whoever may come across this may find God. God is my hope without Him I would be nothing. He gave me hope when I felt nothing. He gave me hope when I had given up. He gave hope when I declared that my life was worth nothing. He gave me hope and I pray He bestows every single person that comes across my videos or this post, with HOPE.

Times may not always be good but with God there is always hope. So even if every one is cruel and evil, hope for better day. ~Emma~

Scary moment today

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Today the scariest thing happened. I was eating across from my mom and she suddenly started turning white. I immediately ran over to her grabbed her hands and asked her what was wrong. She wasn’t answering me. It’s like she was staring at me but like nothing I said she could hear. Of course in full panic I tried again, mom what is wrong please tell me? Are you having a stroke please mom tell me? Tears running down my eyes I kept grabbing her hands and face asking please tell me what is wrong? I started saying please just breathe calm down.

Mom, just breathe take deep breaths. I gave her water and she started drinking it. It seems she was chocking and she didn’t even know. She was able to swallow what was in her throat with the water. I was so scared the panic in her eyes the panic that overtook me was absolutely frightening.

I know one day my mom won’t be here and my dad won’t be here. I just pray that’s not anytime soon. Today was such a scary event and I just I was so scared. I know I’m extremely lucky but I still have both my parents when so many don’t. I’m just not ready to let them go not yet. And I pray to God that time doesn’t come anytime soon because that really scares me.

Thank God everything worked out and she’s fine but it really did scare me. I am so grateful to God that I could hug my mom tonight, smell her hair, hold her in my arms, kiss her and say good night.

Just a friendly reminder to live each day like it’s your last. To love like you will never love again. And cherish each moment because you will never know when that moment becomes a memory. ~Always Emma.~

Parents

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Who are your favorite people to be around?

My favorite people to be around is my mom, my sister and my dad. I love hanging around my parents. As they get older, you start to realize that they’re not gonna be around here forever. So you start to treasure the beautiful moments you still have with them they might not last, but at least they’ll be more memories forever.

I know one day it will just be me and my sister, but for now I get to enjoy having the pleasure of both my parents still being around. Though we might fight, and we might disagree on a lot of things. The older they get, they turn into stubborn toddlers. I love them so much and I wouldn’t change them for the world.

Being rich isn’t just a monetary action. I consider myself lucky, and I consider myself extremely rich in the blessings of life. Though it has not always been an easy walk in the park and though we may struggle with the economics in life. Our home is filled with love. Our home is filled with memories. Our home is filled with the joy and laughter that we share together as a family. I know I’m lucky and I thank God every single day when I wake up.

Letting you in

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What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

The thing I am scared to do the most is to allow people into my heart. Time after time, I have a lot of people in my heart, but never really given my heart away. I built this wall around myself. I know it’s been there. Maybe it’s protecting myself from the bad things that I have experienced.

But as I’ve grown more comfortable being myself, I’ve also learned that in order to truly have a good relationship with another person, you open yourself and be willing to get hurt.

As the years have gone by, I’ve learned to understand what I like about a man while also learning to be more open, act like a grownup and learning a relationship is a partnership you give and take but always have each other’s backs. I wanna be honest, I wanna connect intellectually. I want to feel more than just a connection.

I want him to teach me new things while also learning how to grow together as one. This has been a scary thought for many years. I have thought I had fallen but the truth is I always hid a piece of myself and was never really honest. I hope the day comes I can find someone to be myself around.

Can’t sleep

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I am writing this at three in the morning. Today was a really good day. I can’t complain, but I can’t sleep. I worked out, went to PT, did acupuncture, it really was a good day. I mean every day that you’re alive is a good day isn’t it?

Unfortunately sleeping is my biggest problem right now. My dreams have been filled with nightmares of darkness. I get the same ones over and over.

Most of my dreams are centered around seeing things I shouldn’t see. I am usually walking in the city. There are flames and fires everywhere, there are dead bodies all over the place. Everything is destroyed in that and there I am just walking in the midst of all that chaos and destruction. It’s a dream that I’ve had over and over again. I don’t know why I have it yet I dream it over and over again.

Sometimes I wonder if they will ever stop. Right after I start thinking that I get like five dreams in a row crazy dreams. It’s funny because so many people I ask “do you dream” and their answer is always “no”. When I go to bed the moment I fall asleep I am dreaming all night from dream to dream to dream. Hopefully tonight I get to sleep, even if it’s dream and dream and dream.

I hope tonight you have wonderful dreams always ~Emma~

Mom

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Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

Being around my mom I have always felt loved. Even when I disappointed her. Even when I fought with her. Even when I was rebellious teen she never stop loving me. She has showed me what unconditional love means.

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Think back on your most memorable road trip.

Driving down to Florida . We have been there many times having it just be my mom, my dad and sister was pretty awesome. It’s a long drive but the ride is kind of fun. Stop in each state hearing how people from the south talk it’s just so beautiful. Memories that will live forever in our hearts.

Happy New Year

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I am praying everyone has a beautiful blessed new year. May God bless you all with love, joyous moments with the people you love, and a healthy year ahead. Stay well my darlings. ~Emma~

Mom

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What relationships have a positive impact on you?

The relationship between me and my mom has always had a positive impact on me. Even though we have had our differences and fought many times my mother is my guiding light. She is strong, far stronger than I think I will ever be.

I have seen what she has been able to accomplish throughout her life, raising a family, being a wife, being a grandmother, a role model for her daughters. She would work a full-time job come home and cook a three course meal. My mom always worked. It didn’t matter if she retired. She was always working.

She fights with you but she’s also quick to forgive you. She can be extremely dismissive, but also very attentive. She just is full of absolute love. Like I said she has always been and will always be a positive in my life.