It’s been a super moody day for me. I am in such a bad mood, I have tried all my coping strategies to try and change it. Nothing has worked so far unfortunately. Maybe it was the whole weekend I don’t know. I just don’t know what to do about it. I walked this morning with the dogs, played with them, played the game, it’s this sour moody cloud over me that has set in. It has made me just unbearable. Everything is pissing me off, especially things that wouldn’t piss me off usually are definitely pissing me off. I am trying to be the positive person that doesn’t want to get too upset or too down on myself. This morning seemed fine but I quickly turned. I think the problem is me and it’s always been me. I invest so much of my energy to others that I forget about myself. I don’t even know why I do it. It’s like complete insanity yet I still do it. I know just another rant about my thoughts. I hope your weekend was better than mine. I am still grateful for the small victories. It’s just this cloud over me doesn’t feel good right now and I feel I am to blame somehow. As if I was the one that set myself up to fall into the pit. I end this Sunday blog with a small victory for me today. The team(game team) I am currently playing with locked with a seat of power. It really isn’t a big deal, wasn’t even a big seat of power but the amazing feeling of getting that sop brought me back to my first big clan I joined. And when we first locked with our first 3 star. We were so excited about it, from that point on it was a fight every weekend. Took months of hard work but we finally found ourselves holding everything. I bring it up because it was definitely the highlight of the day and it brought me back to a time that was so much simpler. So even in the midst of darkness God shines his light to remind me things will get better. I hope today is a blessed day for you all. ~Emma~
Tag: dogs
Am I the problem
Last night I got into a fight with someone. He is a friend or I would like to think we are friends. Sometimes I wonder if he even considers me a friend or just someone that annoys him. I was upset because I don’t have many friends so after the death of my beloved Spencer last Friday I was feeling really down and depressed. I spent an hour crying and after crying I got super mad. Maybe I pointed the anger the wrong way which I can admit but it also made me wonder why this person didn’t even reach out to see if I am okay. We spoke several times through the day but not once did he ask. Maybe I am wrong to have expected anything from anyone only setting myself for disappointment. But I truly believed it was different with us that our friendship was genuine and true. But maybe the only fool was me for actually believing that we were friends. Or maybe I thought of the relationship as more than it was. I really don’t want to believe that but then again I have been told I am delusional, chaotic and a drama queen. So adding to that growing list, clueless and stupid wouldn’t be that far out there. I wanted to end this on a positive note so I will finish with this. After telling this person I was mad at them, would not talk to them because I was pissed that they didn’t even reach out. I was told that it was my choice to not speak to them and when I do decide to speak to them they won’t be around. Which brings me back to my main concern which is am I the problem and was it my fault that caused the situation. Am I the one who is being unreasonable with just expecting someone to just reach out to see if I am okay. Or am I just dumb to even think of us as friends? I leave the question to you hopefully you can answer me. It’s clear his answer will be nothing but crickets so I do hope someone can give me some good advice. Maybe I am delusional but I don’t know what to do. I keep giving my heart in these friendships and I am constantly abandoned by the same people that say they will be there. Maybe I am seeing something that isn’t there. Am I the problem? ~Emma~
Lost my best friend today
Spencer greatest Frenchie ever!!!!
Today I found out I need to put my baby boy (dog) Spencer to sleep. I wish I could be more joyful but unfortunately this post won’t be joyful just sad. This little Frenchie came into my life 10 years ago. He was a whirlwind of just love and energy. He slept on my bed on his pillow that I had given him with his sheets. The sheets consisted of a pink playboy blanket that was super soft that he loved. On top of him he had a Tinkerbell blanket or the Dallas Cowboys blanket. He loved sleeping with them because my room was cold. We used to go for walks in the park and he loved walking. As he got older he would get more tired but he still loved walking even if he could hardly breathe on our walks. My sister lost her dog two years after I got Spencer. While she was grieving her loss I would let Spencer comfort her. It did cause a bit of struggle between us because she basically took ownership of him. But Spencer in the end had two mothers that loved him more than life itself. He continues to fight so I just pray that God have mercy and put him to rest. It will be painful to live without him but I wouldn’t trade one moment with him for not having this pain. The pain in my heart just reminds me how much I love him. In the end it is all worth the sadness and grief. So my message on this warm night is to be present in life and enjoy each moment for nothing last forever but the love we give each other. Have a beautiful day/night. ~Emma~
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What animals make the best/worst pets?
Dogs are the best pet. The only downside of dogs is their life is extremely short. So when you lose them it’s truly heartbreaking. Dogs are like kids but they never grow up which is good and bad. Good because they always will rely on you for everything. They are toddlers that never age. The bad side is they never grow up so they will need you and it’s extremely expensive for their healthcare the older they get. But totally worth the experience of having loved a dog. No matter how many have passed over the rainbow bridge I never hesitate to get another one. Because it is truly unconditional love you give them and you receive from them. They might be a tiny moment in your long life but for them you are the only world they know. That for me is absolutely priceless.
Emma the Mizfit 