Last night was fun and today is peaceful. I am grateful to have my family that accepts me even at my worst. I knew the other day I lashed out it had been a while since I went so down so fast. Maybe it was being sick and down that drove to lose control so easily. But the truth is I still need to find better coping skills to keep me ahead of the twists and turns. Life is extremely unpredictable and I need to learn to cope with I can control which is myself. There will always be a trigger always something will change my moods. It’s learning and finding new ways to adapt to the chaos that I must learn to master in myself. I know I am not alone, I trust in God and I know somewhere someone else may be experiencing the same thing. It is through that I must learn to find ways to keep fighting. The mood swings can happen but learning to keep calm and being aware is something we must all learn. Learning to lean on those that support us is a good thing. Therapist, group therapy, God, family, friends whatever it is keep finding good coping skills to help you find the strength you have. I learned last night not only God gave me the strength but my family did also. It was through that support I have in place that gave me the chance to speak to them, to trust in them and allow myself to vulnerable with them. Having the conversation and being completely open with them helped me enjoy being in the moment with the whole family. It was truly an amazing night that I will remember for a long time. I hope your Christmas was blessed. As I said to everyone yesterday remember we celebrate Christmas because it was the gift that we got from God in Jesus Christ who came and died to save us. We celebrated His birth. You might not believe but this what I believe and I am willing to stand on that rock always. God has given me so much and Jesus isn’t just my king, he is my friend, the lover of my soul, He knows me in ways no one will ever know and it’s a comfort for me. To have trust and faith in someone I can feel in my heart. Without God I would not be here it is through his love and Grace that I am at peace tonight. I send you some of that peace that maybe you can have that inner peace starting this new week. Have a wonderful week, filled with many blessings. ~Emma~
Tag: coping skills
Written in the afternoon before Christmas Eve family gathering
Today wasn’t any better my mood spiked to further level of down. Sat on my bed crying for about an hour before trying to find something to wear. I wish I could say I felt better and I did this morning when I woke up. I got up and decided to try and smile and put myself to work doing different things to get excited. Unfortunately something triggered me into a downward spiral of just feeling like completely angered and out of control. The truth is I knew it was happening but couldn’t stop myself from just losing complete control. I did end up in my room pleading with God to help me, I cried as I laid in bed. I finally got up again and here I am getting dressed, trying to get excited for tonight and smile for everyone around. One of the most important things for me, is to know when I have lost control and try avoid things that will bring me into that state of mind. It’s one of my coping skills and asking God just for the strength to get up again is enough for me to get up. I did cry in a full blown crying fit and as I write this I am still not carefree. It’s a matter of knowing I will never be “normal” like others and learning to just be happy being myself. It’s not easy I wish I could say it is but it is not. It is something I must fight everyday, every single morning and throughout the day. If fighting bipolar was as easy as taking a pill and walking around happy everyone that suffers from it would be happy. Unfortunately reality is much more harsh than some dream pill to make you feel like you are normal. It’s a fight that you have to be willing to fight and if I can fight it so can you. So if you reading this right now and suffer from it or know someone that suffers from it. Just know you aren’t alone and it’s extremely hard but you can do it. And to all those whom hold the person that suffers from the illness don’t give up because they need you more than you will ever know. I do hope this Christmas is blessed for all of you. ~Emma~
Check out new video on YouTube
You know Nothing!!!
Today was a long day. Sitting here about to have a conversation with God and wanted to drop few lines. I finished reading the first Dune book. It was really good and I really enjoyed it. I am looking forward to the next book in the series. I watched the whole Tim Pool/Kayne thing last night. My heart goes out to Kayne. Unfortunately, the world is extremely cruel to ppl with a mental illness disorder. They don’t understand and they are extremely dismissive about anything coming from someone that has any mental health issue. I really do feel for him because unlike many others that assume to know how it feels or understand, you don’t. It’s not easy and you can be compassionate, understanding and love the person that suffers. But at the end of the day you have no clue how hard it is for them to fight to be heard. You have no idea how hard life is for them. You can watch all you like and judge however you like. But unless you are suffering and fighting every day with mental health problems you have no idea. So please do me a favor to all the ppl that think they know….shut up! You know nothing. What that person needs is love, kindness, compassion, understanding, to feel like they are heard and God. If you can’t be any of those things in that person’s life stfu and walk away. I have zero tolerance for ppl that pretend to know how it feels or how they think it is. You have no clue, so stop. My prayers go out to Kayne and all of you whom suffer from any mental disorder. It’s not an easy fight. You fight each and every day but don’t give up. You are not alone. Never forget you are not alone!!! I might be one but together we are many. Always, Emma~
Listening to music can be the most therapeutic thing for me at times
Narcissist by: Avery Anna
Out of touch with my feelings
I can’t help it if I’m happy or sad
Today I cried for no reason
Made me feel like a psychopath
I should hate you ’cause I love you
You should hate yourself for treating me like that
We both know you only love you
Did you know they have a name for that?
You say that I’m crazy
You say that you’re sorry
Won’t happen again
You say I’m dramatic
I’m overreacting
And maybe I am
And I know you’ll get over me
But can you get over yourself?
Before you go and love somebody else
You should probably get some help
My parents don’t like you
Why would they want to?
After they found me crying on the bathroom floor
I don’t even like me anymore
‘Cause you say that I’m crazy
You say that you’re sorry
Won’t happen again
You say I’m dramatic
I’m overreacting
And maybe I am
And I know you’ll get over me
But can you get over yourself?
Before you go and love somebody else
You should probably get some help
You lose your voice when you yell too much
Don’t say you love me until you mess up
Phone calls past twelve o’clock, wanting me back
Don’t you know that they got a name for that?
You say that I’m crazy
You say that you’re sorry
Won’t happen again
You say I’m dramatic
I’m overreacting
And maybe I am
And I know you’ll get over me
But can you get over yourself?
Before you go and love somebody else
You should probably get some help
The comings of tomorrow
So tomorrow I will finish putting up my Christmas decorations for the outside. I will probably start the inside but I am going to try and sneak in a podcast and tell y’all how the adventures of my vacation to florida were. But we shall see. Don’t forget I posted videos on TikTok and Instagram. Karen the Mïzfït also joined in on the fun so please check them out. We will be starting our Game of Thrones review and might even include our time watching Yellowstone. We shall give our input on that also. We might even speak about our trip so tune in this week we will have the episodes up. ~Emma~
Check out the new videos posted
Monday advice
Been busy running around like a chicken without a head. It’s all been messy and confusing and completely stressful. But I keep powering through. Its not easy and some days I want to quit. Yet here I am getting to bed at 3:01 in the morning because I hope to spread positive words to others starting their day. Life gets busy, time goes by, don’t forget to love each moment, to live in each moment and to be in the moment. Because you never know what tomorrow brings. But you can face the day with a smile and grateful heart. Thank you God for another day. Enjoy the week my friends, enjoy the day. Be blessed and don’t forget you are loved. ~Emma~
Mood right now…Fix You by Coldplay
Listening to Coldplay singing my heart out to Fix You.
When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above, or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try, you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face, and I
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face, and I
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Daily message
Happy Friday, I hope everyone has a beautiful day and a wonderful weekend. Remember to stay positive and don’t allow the negativity of the world get you down. You can’t change anyone, you can only control how you react. Stay strong and stay positive. ~Emma~
Emma the Mizfit 