If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?
If I could change my name it would be the sea and sun. Why because that would be awesome.
Tag: blessed
Bury Sh*t!
I had this friend, who I thought was a friend that completely turned his back on me. Turns out he wasn’t a friend, he was a user. The moment I no longer became useful he tossed me like garbage. Now this person used to say how loyal he was and all this fake 💩. The truth is I should have known he was fake. I should have known he was a liar. I should have known everything he spoke about was lies. Regardless of him cutting me out I had hoped we would reconcile but I no longer want to reconcile. I have mourned the relationship between us. Today I put the final nail in the coffin. I have moved on and thought I would like to be the better person and wish him luck. I have to be honest I literally don’t give a 💩 what happens to him. It’s not about bitterness or anything I just don’t care. A person can wish well and hope for the best but once you cross the line to where they no longer care. It’s gone nothing you do matters nothing you say matters you are dead to them. And he is dead to me. Mourn the loss of the people that have done you wrong and after that let it go. No use holding on to grudges or even any feelings for them. After you have mourned their death you can move forward never looking back. It’s the best way to heal yourself.
Memorial Day Weekend
As we go forth this Memorial Day weekend on the many bbq around in the States, with everyone enjoying time with the fam. Don’t forget to take time out to remember the men and women that have died for this great country.
I know many may feel that America is on a decline. This might be true morally, our country has been invaded by this Marxist ideology being pushed in schools and pretty much everywhere.
With that said I still have hope for this beautiful country. I pray God will hear the prayers of the patriots that pray for the healing of this great nation. That we can come together as Americans in the belief like our founders did. Give me freedom or give me death.
So on this weekend as you celebrate please remember those that did just that. To give you freedom they faced death. Shedding their blood for the American people, for the American dream. No matter what the color of your skin, no matter that background anyone can make it. May God bless the members that have lost family fighting for our freedom. Bless the men and women that have all paid the ultimate price to give us the freedoms we take for granted.
On reflection I hope many will think about what we take for granted. Freedom isn’t free it is purchased by the sacrifice of someone else.
Jesus Christ died for our freedom from this life and paid with His blood. The men and woman that died for our freedom in America paid with their lives. Never forget that.
I hope it is a blessed weekend and safe one.
God Bless the USA 🇺🇸
~Emma~
Reminder: Mental Health Awareness
As I have said before May is Mental Health Awareness Month. This is a list of things that have helped me. I hope they help you. You are not alone.
Also trying to be a better version of yourself doesn’t mean you are weak.
Learning to forgive others for what they have done for you, only makes you feel stronger.
Self care is something we all must do. If you don’t take care of yourself no one else will either.
Therapy is a tool to be used not ignored.
I want to encourage everyone that kindness goes a long away.
Coping skills are there to remind you, how to deal with issues.
Praying is one of the greatest ways to heal and find true peace.
Working out helps to make you feel good and give you the confidence you need.
Healthy eating is a way for you to take out the food that makes you feel down. Don’t eat anything that will make you feel sluggish. Don’t eat anything that will make you feel regret. Only eat and drink things that will help you to feel good about yourself. Not to mention that when eating healthy foods you also gain clarity. Stay away from junk food.
Remember journaling is way to put your thoughts down on paper. Even if it feels pointless the thought has been written and maybe now you can let it go.
If you experience any thoughts about self deleting please call for help or ask for help. People are not mind readers and don’t know what is going on. So please do seek help because you are not alone.
Last but not least remember God isn’t just the Creator. He can be your partner, your friend, your guide, your anchor through your life. If you truly need someone always there God is the perfect companion for you.
Love it
How do you feel about cold weather?
I absolutely love the cold. I not only sleep better in the winter but in the summer my room has to be 60 degrees while also using two fans. I want it cold, I want to be under my blankets so I can feel cozy. That is the best way to sleep so for me it’s the best.
Sabbath and reset
How do you balance work and home life?
It’s extremely exhausting but it must be done. If you work all the time and never take time for home life you will burn out. Home life is just as important as work life. Working from home I find that learning to make time for things around the house or even time for myself can be extremely hard. But it is something we all must learn to do and find balance. Saturday which is the Sabbath day, is my day to rest. From Friday night to Saturday night I turn off twitter and every single social media app. It helps me to focus on just being in the moment, spending time with God, reading scripture and listening to Christian music like Family Radio. I also enjoy playing with my team on the game. We play together, I listen to them on Voice Chat and it helps me to just not worry about what is happening outside in the world. Again I focus on resting and not stressing myself out. Though to some it might be waste of time but for me it absolutely resets me for the week. If I have a dog that is staying he chills with me. It is something that I feel really is something that everyone should do. No tv no social media just music to relax to. Listening to soft music praying reflecting being in that moment living in that moment. It truly feels good. But hey that’s just me.
Dream
Had a dream the other night. Saw a man and woman standing in front of me. Beside me I can hear a male voice. He whispered in my ear Star Dust over and over again. I looked to see but saw no one there. The woman and man wore white. Above the sky was gold stars they weren’t just yellow stars they were gold by the way they glittered. Again I heard the voice star dust, star dust. What it meant have no clue. Maybe I will find the meaning soon enough.
Mother’s Day
It’s Mother’s Day again and here I am about to tell you all how amazing my mother is. But before I do that I must remind everyone that having a mom is privilege and I know how lucky I am to have her in my life.
My mother has sacrificed so much for all her kids but when you ask her she wouldn’t change any of it. I can never understand that kind of love because I don’t have kids and probably never will.
It’s a love that is profound and not every single woman that has a child is like my mom. She can be my biggest cheerleader and my harshest critic. She can be my anchor and also that one kills my dreams in a second.
She is beautiful and only gets more beautiful as she gets older. With each year passing by my mother shows me how to love more.
During my sickness my mother was there for me far beyond anyone on this planet. She saw me at my worst and loved me harder each time. The sicker I got the more she tried to pull me back.
Though my childhood was stolen from me and my memories taken. The pain I saw on my mother talking about what I went through broke my heart. Because even though I went through it I don’t remember it, but she does. I love my mother more than words can ever express. She isn’t just my mom, she is my best friend.
I don’t know if you have a mom like that or not but if you do remember these words. Love her, cherish her, let her know how much you love her. Because life is short and mom won’t always be around, so let her know today and every day how amazing she truly is. Mami thank you for showing me love. For showing me strength, for loving me regardless of flaws, for never leaving my side. You are my hero and one of kind. I dedicate this day and everyday to the most precious amazing woman I will ever know. I love Mami~always your daughter~
Life is nothing but a dream
Today I went through one of my journals. It’s funny the things we don’t remember and the things we choose to remember. In this specific book was a letter to my niece. Now the interesting part is I refer to another journal to her in this letter. I wrote it in 2012 and speak of the other journal that I assume I wrote during my time being sick.
I speak of asking her to read the journals of my life to truly understand what I have been through. I even speak about a memory I don’t have in my mind. But the memory was written in the journal at the time. I tell her of the specific memory about a night that it was raining and thundering hard and she said let us pray. “Let us ask God to stop the rain and thunder.” Apparently that’s exactly what we did, and sure enough it had stopped raining and thundering. She tells me “let’s pray again and thank God for stopping the rain and thunder.”
I speak about the memory and reference to it as how close we were and go on about my sickness.
The actual reason I speak about it now, while reading that I thought to myself how much was my choice to not remember. It’s clear I was in the right mind in that particular letter. Yet the memory isn’t there of me ever writing this letter. How weird is it as humans we experience so much but don’t remember so many of the things we experience. We tell the same stories but without remembering all the details of the stories.
In this letter I beg her to read from one of the many journals I have of my life. I tell her to read the brown journal because in that journal I speak about her so much. It’s weird when all your memories are gone and you go back to read things you don’t remember writing.
I am extremely grateful that even though I lost so many of my memories, my journals are my archive. Maybe one day I will write a book completely based on those journals. It seems there are so many things that I experienced and don’t know about. I guess that was always the purpose behind journaling. You write what you feel in the moment. Years later that moment is gone but the memories, the pain, the thoughts you had are there written for you to see again.
I believe I was 12 years old when my mom gave me my first journal. I never thought my life would take so many turns. I am just grateful that it’s written in books I can go back to. Even if the memories aren’t there, I can still read them as if they were. Like going back in time I feel the memory like it’s just a dream.
Live Show in Atlantic City
What was the last live performance you saw?
Well it depends on what you consider live performance. Last time I was in Atlantic City I saw a live band. They are not famous. They weren’t this huge group, but it was really good. It was very entertaining. The music was wonderful. They were playing like older music by other artists but it was so good. It was live and everybody was having fun and it was so good to watch and enjoy the music. So I would definitely say that was the last live performance that I saw.
Emma the Mizfit 