Written by Emmanuelle-Rose Grace
I scream
I yell
Still no one hears me
I shake my hands
I stomp my feet
Still no one hears me
I jump up
I jump down
Still no one sees me
I cry
I die
Still no one can hear or see me
Tag: alone
Christmas message
It’s the night for me before Christmas Eve. It should be one filled with joy and happiness. Unfortunately with me being sick most of the month I haven’t felt joyful to say the least. I have been reading this Bible plan which talks about Christmas and the true meaning and how much we have forgotten about what it truly means. I guess that’s why I am truly sad about. Christmas no longer is about Christ’s birth. No it’s about gifts and it’s about dinners and what to wear how to dress what to decorate. Today I worked my ass off decorating our family room making sure it is perfect for anyone coming over. As I did that my sister took off with my niece and brother. I guess it wouldn’t bother me so much but the fact that here I am trying to make it perfect for no one. Because the truth is no one cares. I cared and put all my effort into something no one will give a shit about. It broke my heart and made me super angry. Why do I continue the cycle of insanity of trying to make others happy even as I feel like complete crap? Why am I still freaking doing everything I can to make them happy when in the end you truly have no one that actually cares or is even willing to give you the time you want. This used to be my favorite season and I wish I could say it has been one thing that took that from me but it wasn’t. No it’s been a long month of crap that just stripped it all from me and it was today that I decided I don’t want any part of it. My sister and mother say it’s just me throwing my usual tantrum but they don’t get it. How hard it has been on me personally but the truth is they don’t care. No one cares how you feel or how your mind turns. They only care of themselves and what they are going through to actually care about others. They don’t care about you they say they do but the truth is when you feel the loneliest no one is there. So my my friends tonight might be my last post for a few days. But regardless of how my Christmas will be I do hope for you all to have a wonderful one. I wish I could give you a positive attitude but at this moment I am too down to actually be positive about anything. God is my strength and with him I will carry on. No matter how anyone makes me feel I will hold hope by holding his hand. And I hope for the rest of you that feel the way I do at this moment you do the same. Hope by holding the hand of God, you have nothing to lose by holding on to him for strength. That’s the only thing I can give you. Merry Christmas everyone. ~Emma~
New Poetry…
The Widow
Lying in bed with a broken heart trying to understand why I am the way I am
Looking to the right and staring at a blank wall with nothing to say
Looking to the left and staring at the pictures that once hung there
Happy faces and smiles from time shared gone bye
How do I escape the pain from not having you here?
How do I fill this empty bed where you use to lay?
I feel my throat closing as I try to breathe in the last scent of you
The sheets still hold the faint smell of us
How do I escape the touch I need so much?
How do I free my mind from the prison I sit in now?
Tears stain my red cheeks
Sadness grabs a hold of me
My breathing becomes labored
How can I get you back?
I stare at the ceiling the sun shines through the blinds
But all I feel is the pain of not having you by my side
Tell me how can I live in a world you no longer live in
How can I go on without you?
I will do anything to get you back
But I know the one place I cannot get you from is the one place you belong
I turn to the dark side of the bed and hold the pillows tight
Knowing in heaven you will be alright
Written by:
Emmanuelle-Rose Grace
Emma the Mizfit 