Tag: advice

Chasing you? Nope that’s a hard pass!

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Disappointed is some thing I have become very familiar with. Just when you start to feel comfortable around people you find out that they are complete jerks. You want to try to do your best, you wanna to fit in but when you realize that you don’t, it’s doesn’t seem to matter as much. As I have gotten older I realize that I’m more comfortable in my skin. As time flows by I realize that the people that I want in my life, won’t ask to be in it. If you don’t want to be in my life, leave. I will never ask you to be in it. If you feel that you want to leave, I am not going to hold you back. I want you to be able to want to stay. I don’t want to be second place, I don’t wanna be the default choice I want to be the one that you choose. If you can’t do that, and if you feel like you’re missing out then by all means walk away. If you think that I’m going to sit here and beg you to stay, you’re wrong. I’m an extremely loyal person and if I can’t get that loyalty back, I don’t want you in my life. It’s not about making the wrong choices. It’s about knowing my worth and I know I am worthy of being loved and being happy. Surrounded by people that want to be with me. Surrounded by people that love me for me. Surrounded by people that accept me for me.

People are like seasons, in the summer you feel the heat of some peoples love. In the winter, you feel the chill and cold you see the real face of people that hide it so much to not show. In the spring, you might find the warmth of the sun that makes you think people can change. Like a rose that is blooming. But just like the autumn season, you see the beautiful colors of change and right before winter the leaves die, the flowers die, and everything dies right before the cold of winter. People are exactly the same way. You may never get to see their real cold side. You may never get to see the blooming rose in the spring and you may never feel the heat of summer, but you definitely get to feel the autumn right before the winter when everything has died.

Some things need to be let go of, I won’t hold you to your word. I won’t even try to win you back. I won’t even try to talk to you to reason with you. Because in the end I chose me. And my choice, I chose to walk away. Because in the end you are not worth fighting for. If you feel, I am not worth fighting for I think we are exactly where we are supposed to be. On the opposite of friendship. You make time for the people who mean something to you. Let this be a lesson to learn that letting go or walking away is more powerful than being surrounded by snakes.

I wish you the best always ~Emma~

Moody girl

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I woke up this morning in such a mood. As I went through the day I felt it was just progressively getting worse. As I sit here at 4:15 pm in the afternoon I can honestly say it’s gotten a lot better. Even earlier when I made my video for the day I said I wasn’t in a good mood. It was just one of those moody days.

I still woke up grateful and thanked God for the new day. Even after slamming my wrist into a window causing my wrist to swell up and see stars. I was able to get the internet to finally work with the help of the technician that came to the house. He helped me with hooking up my Mac book and everything. It was such a help on a day that was just not going well.

Even just chatting with the guy was helpful we spoke about Japan and how I should definitely go visit. 😂

So I say again just because your day might start out moody or crappy, be grateful. It is through the grateful heart that God changed my day.

I even was yelling at God this afternoon, after slamming my wrist. I was like oh it’s pick on Emma today. lol it was a joke and I really didn’t think it was going to change anything and yet here I am grateful for the better mood.

I think sometimes letting out your frustrations out to God as if He is there with you, even if you think He might not be listening, you find out soon enough He is always listening. So have a little faith and just chat with Him. Tell Him your frustrations, tell Him how you feel, let Him know everything and you might be surprised when He does answer.

I hope everyone has a beautiful blessed day.

YouTube

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Check out my new video on finding the path to peace on YouTube. Check the link below and subscribe to my channel to get all my latest videos.

https://youtu.be/w2uIqVUd8ts?si=5mPJKRulZ0XEJgpp

Deal with it

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Have you ever had surgery? What for?

Oh yeah I have had so many. Let’s see I have had a face lift, lip fillers, boob lift, butt lift liposuction but who hasn’t right? Nah I haven’t had any of that stuff done.

We have all had surgeries, life before surgery and life after surgery. Too many to name but probably the most painful one was my back surgery.

Probably it was because even after the surgery I still have a lot of pain. I have just learned to make myself stronger and deal with it. I don’t depend on drugs to take the pain away. Sometimes one just has to learn to tolerate the pain. Once it has become part of you the pain doesn’t overwhelm you.

I am not giving advice on to deal with your pain, I am merely saying how I deal with pain. Like the saying goes what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger.

It’s a big scary world out there filled with a lot of pain, hate, anger and just plain evil. You have to learn to be strong and better than that. You can do it my strength comes from God. I hope today you find your strength and don’t allow the world or aches and pains hold you down. Life is too short and beautiful to not embrace the beauty in life. Have a good one. ~Emma~

Always grateful

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Waking up in the morning, listening to the fan above my head spin and the air conditioning sound cool my room. I turn to the window the sun is really bright today. Well it’s summer and we are going through a heatwave so I guess sunshine is expected. Today I lay in bed a little longer for only I got to sleep in my bed. No dogs to share the sheets with just me.

The day is starting for me and soon another little puppy angel will be gracing us with her love later in the day.

As I look at the fan spin on the ceiling I say Thank You God. Today is new day and thank you for waking me up.

It might seem like a silly task to do daily but for me being grateful even for just waking up starts me off in a good mood. No matter what lies ahead in the day I prepare myself with thank you for life.

It might be a good day and hard day but either way I am alive to go through it.

Make sure to take time today and be grateful for the day. Not everyone gets the chance to wake up. Not everyone gets the chance to actually get out of bed. Having the right mind set to tackle the day sets you up to overcome whatever obstacles you will face.

So wake up grateful and thank God. I hope you all have a beautiful blessed day.

Journals

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Do you have any collections?

I have a collection of journals. I started to write in my first diary at the age of 12. My mom was the one that bought me this little purple diary with a lock on it. After that she would buy me one for Christmas if I asked for one. I would ask for them because it depends how much I wrote. I know right now I have about 24 books. I have also a prayer book, a poem book, dream book, and my love book.

Reminder: Mental Health Awareness

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As I have said before May is Mental Health Awareness Month. This is a list of things that have helped me. I hope they help you. You are not alone.

Also trying to be a better version of yourself doesn’t mean you are weak.

Learning to forgive others for what they have done for you, only makes you feel stronger.

Self care is something we all must do. If you don’t take care of yourself no one else will either.

Therapy is a tool to be used not ignored.

I want to encourage everyone that kindness goes a long away.

Coping skills are there to remind you, how to deal with issues.

Praying is one of the greatest ways to heal and find true peace.

Working out helps to make you feel good and give you the confidence you need.

Healthy eating is a way for you to take out the food that makes you feel down. Don’t eat anything that will make you feel sluggish. Don’t eat anything that will make you feel regret. Only eat and drink things that will help you to feel good about yourself. Not to mention that when eating healthy foods you also gain clarity. Stay away from junk food.

Remember journaling is way to put your thoughts down on paper. Even if it feels pointless the thought has been written and maybe now you can let it go.

If you experience any thoughts about self deleting please call for help or ask for help. People are not mind readers and don’t know what is going on. So please do seek help because you are not alone.

Last but not least remember God isn’t just the Creator. He can be your partner, your friend, your guide, your anchor through your life. If you truly need someone always there God is the perfect companion for you.

Mother’s Day

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It’s Mother’s Day again and here I am about to tell you all how amazing my mother is. But before I do that I must remind everyone that having a mom is privilege and I know how lucky I am to have her in my life.

My mother has sacrificed so much for all her kids but when you ask her she wouldn’t change any of it. I can never understand that kind of love because I don’t have kids and probably never will.

It’s a love that is profound and not every single woman that has a child is like my mom. She can be my biggest cheerleader and my harshest critic. She can be my anchor and also that one kills my dreams in a second.

She is beautiful and only gets more beautiful as she gets older. With each year passing by my mother shows me how to love more.

During my sickness my mother was there for me far beyond anyone on this planet. She saw me at my worst and loved me harder each time. The sicker I got the more she tried to pull me back.

Though my childhood was stolen from me and my memories taken. The pain I saw on my mother talking about what I went through broke my heart. Because even though I went through it I don’t remember it, but she does. I love my mother more than words can ever express. She isn’t just my mom, she is my best friend.

I don’t know if you have a mom like that or not but if you do remember these words. Love her, cherish her, let her know how much you love her. Because life is short and mom won’t always be around, so let her know today and every day how amazing she truly is. Mami thank you for showing me love. For showing me strength, for loving me regardless of flaws, for never leaving my side. You are my hero and one of kind. I dedicate this day and everyday to the most precious amazing woman I will ever know. I love Mami~always your daughter~

Life is nothing but a dream

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Today I went through one of my journals. It’s funny the things we don’t remember and the things we choose to remember. In this specific book was a letter to my niece. Now the interesting part is I refer to another journal to her in this letter. I wrote it in 2012 and speak of the other journal that I assume I wrote during my time being sick.

I speak of asking her to read the journals of my life to truly understand what I have been through. I even speak about a memory I don’t have in my mind. But the memory was written in the journal at the time. I tell her of the specific memory about a night that it was raining and thundering hard and she said let us pray. “Let us ask God to stop the rain and thunder.” Apparently that’s exactly what we did, and sure enough it had stopped raining and thundering. She tells me “let’s pray again and thank God for stopping the rain and thunder.”

I speak about the memory and reference to it as how close we were and go on about my sickness.

The actual reason I speak about it now, while reading that I thought to myself how much was my choice to not remember. It’s clear I was in the right mind in that particular letter. Yet the memory isn’t there of me ever writing this letter. How weird is it as humans we experience so much but don’t remember so many of the things we experience. We tell the same stories but without remembering all the details of the stories.

In this letter I beg her to read from one of the many journals I have of my life. I tell her to read the brown journal because in that journal I speak about her so much. It’s weird when all your memories are gone and you go back to read things you don’t remember writing.

I am extremely grateful that even though I lost so many of my memories, my journals are my archive. Maybe one day I will write a book completely based on those journals. It seems there are so many things that I experienced and don’t know about. I guess that was always the purpose behind journaling. You write what you feel in the moment. Years later that moment is gone but the memories, the pain, the thoughts you had are there written for you to see again.

I believe I was 12 years old when my mom gave me my first journal. I never thought my life would take so many turns. I am just grateful that it’s written in books I can go back to. Even if the memories aren’t there, I can still read them as if they were. Like going back in time I feel the memory like it’s just a dream.

Feeling down?

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When you feel down get on your knees and pray to God. When you are drowning in pain, get on your knees and pray to God. When all hope is so lost you can’t find your way, get on your knees and pray to God. I know it might seem silly. If you have to plead and yell and scream talk to God.

I know it might seem hopeless and pointless. I have one thing in life that has consistently given me the strength to keep going, that is God. I hope when you read this, you take these words to heart. Remember God is with you. Have a good night~Emma~