The worst feeling in the world is not having anyone on your side. Instead always having to defend yourself because you can’t comprehend how weak others are. It’s really not called “weakness” if you always give into others, it’s called “keeping the peace”. Until you realize you no longer have a voice because you have been silenced by the very people that pretend to be keeping the peace. Fk you I won’t be silenced by anyone!!!!! ~Emma~
Fear Death
Death is all I see
Death is all I smell
Death is all I taste
The vipers hanging from the well
Haunting and hissing making the rounds
Chasing me down
In my dreams
In my past
In my life
Death is all I feel when I look around
As daggers pierce my eyes
There is no love here
Never to be found
Death doesn’t pardon any one of us
Even the good ones
Faced stained with blood
Lips sown shut
Fears of darkness consuming all of us
Death to dust fighting time for every night
Close my eyes and see your face
Hallowed and empty you no longer play
Death found you months ago
Leaving a hole where in my soul
Death took you from me and I have no where to go
Written by: Emmanuelle-Rose Grace
NEW Podcast Episode
Quote
Madness surrounds me choking my every thought. It is who I am. ERG
Another day
I am grateful for the strength I have been given through my time of struggles. The world is a crazy chaotic mess and some people are just plain evil. Each time I am reminded of how mean people can be, I am also reminded how amazing life is. Life is short and it is precious. Many will cause you pain. Work can stress you out, daily activities can drive you nuts. But what I have found is, showing gratitude even for the smallest thing makes it worth fighting for. I have gone through a lot of tribulations in my life. I wake up each morning and thank God for another day. I know I have said this before but it is through His strength I am here. The point is finding things to be grateful for, even when you see nothing but darkness. Being kind, finding someone that was kind to you, maybe by holding the door open while you walked out the store. Waking up to breathe air and getting out of bed, these are things that might be small but always be grateful for. Old friends that make you smile. Laughing with your sister about a silly dog pooping in someone’s mouth. (By the way that’s an actual article she read to me today.) It is in those moments we must be grateful for. Let go of the weight of negativity, people that are mean, people that don’t appreciate you for being you. Find coping skills to help you find a better way to deal with the darkness. Being grateful, seeing the glass half full, try to find the silver lining, I know it’s hard. But you are worthy, find music to make you feel happy or sad. Sometimes a good cry helps. But always keep trying to fight the darkness that wants to bring you down. Going through any mental illness isn’t easy but keep fighting. And always remember you aren’t alone. God is there even if you don’t believe in Him, He believes in you. And I believe in you and I believe you can make it because I am a walking example of how you can get out of the dark and back into the light. It won’t be easy it will be hard. You will have to fight each and every single day but never give up. I am grateful today for my family, being able to get on this blog and write to you. One person might read this and I am okay with that. Because if that one person changes their outlook by reading my words than my job is done. I have been really busy but later today I will do one of my podcasts. It will just be me talking but I do believe it is important to continue reinforcing that mental health is a huge problem and it doesn’t get enough attention. I am grateful I woke up this morning and I am drinking my coffee. Hoping to share some positive thoughts to help or at least make you laugh. Before going through your day find something to be grateful. Grateful for shelter, grateful for a bed, grateful for another day, grateful for food. Check out the YouTube video I made, it’s a 3 min video with music and pictures. You can use it for praying, mediation or just sitting still and calming your thoughts that are trying to make you feel worthless. Start somewhere only you can decide to fight. Write down your thoughts, find the strength to keep moving forward. I can’t make you fight depression or any mental illness. Only you can scream to the heavens and beg for strength. But for now dwell in the knowledge I will be praying for all of you. Let us all wake up with grateful hearts. Have a beautiful day ~Emma~
Check out the link 👆🏻
Words to live by…
You can only shine when you learn to embrace the darkness & light within you. ~Emma~
Just a lucky girl showing how much she loves her mom…
Not everyone gets to have an amazing mom but I do. She is my rock, she is my world, without her I would have been lost long ago. She has never given up on me and still pushes me and my dreams forward. She can be unpredictable and she can be straight out scary mean. But more than anything she is a woman of pure love. I have done many things wrong in my life. I have also learned a valuable lesson you only get one mom and she won’t live forever. So, make sure you take the time to tell her how amazing she is. Show her how loved she is, how without her you wouldn’t be here. Mom’s get a day to celebrate. But the truth is they should be celebrated every day. Life is too short and we don’t live forever so make sure you hug her and kiss her and let her know she is the best thing you have ever had. I love you mom in so many ways words will never do justice. So, on this day I wanted to say thank you for being you. I love you ~~Always, Emma~~
Be better….
The last few days this has weighed on my mind so I thought I would share my thoughts. Queen Elizabeth II died a week ago which really does not impact me personally. But I have seen on twitter in the last few days and have read some of the vilest things any human should say. One I don’t care if you believe in God, that is a choice between you two. I don’t care if its higher power you believe in or whatever. There is no reason as a human being, should you when any person dies celebrate it with such glee. Whatever she did or didn’t do is not for you to be the judge and jury. You will one day answer for what you have said and done. Celebrating her death and hoping she burns in hell is just evil. It doesn’t prove some sort of point, nor does it make you look good in any shape, or form. She was a mother, a grandmother, a sister, a friend and a queen to many. So please instead of being the shitty people that fill the world with hate, try being kind. Why not try spreading some love into the world. Some forget one day we will all die and on that day, we will know for sure what is on the other side without a doubt. If you find yourself to be faced with God do you really want him to judge something you wrote on twitter because you thought it was cool. There is nothing cool about hate, there is nothing cool about taking joy in someone’s death. Try to be the change in the world without being the one destroying the world. Kindness, respect, compassion, love go a long way in showing what truly lives in your heart. Try to be a better version of the person you were yesterday. ~Emma~
🙂
Have a kind and wonderful weekend. Filled with love and many blessings. ~Emma~
New Poetry…
The Widow
Lying in bed with a broken heart trying to understand why I am the way I am
Looking to the right and staring at a blank wall with nothing to say
Looking to the left and staring at the pictures that once hung there
Happy faces and smiles from time shared gone bye
How do I escape the pain from not having you here?
How do I fill this empty bed where you use to lay?
I feel my throat closing as I try to breathe in the last scent of you
The sheets still hold the faint smell of us
How do I escape the touch I need so much?
How do I free my mind from the prison I sit in now?
Tears stain my red cheeks
Sadness grabs a hold of me
My breathing becomes labored
How can I get you back?
I stare at the ceiling the sun shines through the blinds
But all I feel is the pain of not having you by my side
Tell me how can I live in a world you no longer live in
How can I go on without you?
I will do anything to get you back
But I know the one place I cannot get you from is the one place you belong
I turn to the dark side of the bed and hold the pillows tight
Knowing in heaven you will be alright
Written by:
Emmanuelle-Rose Grace
Emma the Mizfit 