List five things you do for fun.
Write, read, workout, watch my Japanese and Korean shows and playing games.
No regrets
If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?
If I could make my pet understand one thing it would probably be how much I will miss them when they are gone. The life of a dog is so short and time flies right by. They go from pups to old dogs so fast. It’s hard to love someone knowing it will not last but still you love them with all your heart. It’s like when I said in my vlog, I tell people how I feel about them. If I love you, I will say it because I don’t ever want to live with regrets. Life happens so fast and quickly you can be here and gone tomorrow. It’s better to have said your thoughts today because tomorrow isn’t promised. I loved my dog Spencer with all my heart losing him last year was a big blow. But I don’t regret loving him. I won’t regret loving another dog because in the end even the short time shared with them, is worth it.
Write about your first name: its meaning, significance, etymology, etc.
I feel this question has been asked before.
Fighting
It’s been a struggle for me the last few months with the ups and downs of the bipolar. I have decided again to try and find another therapist and try to find another group therapy to get into. I know I was doing much better during that time period but the program was cut because of funds. Ofc as we know mental health is the first program that get cut in the health industry. Especially when the state is making decisions as to where money goes. It’s been something I have struggled with for the last 2 years mainly because of the fact that my psychiatrist of many years died in 2020 and my therapist died two years ago. Bipolar ppl don’t deal good with changes and this year losing my another good therapist due to funding in hospital program along with my group therapy that I attended weekly. Adding the loss of my dog, uncle and losing friends. So for a few months the lack of therapy has definitely taken a toll and finally I have no choice but to try and find myself both. Without any therapy I will end up spiraling completely out of control so I know I must get back to the basics and find another. Unfortunately it’s not easy and exhausting to constantly look for another group or even just a good therapist. I write this blog to vent my frustrations with just the whole process and lack of help that is out there for myself and ppl like me. People wonder why there is such a crisis when it comes to mental health, I don’t. I know the main problems but unfortunately I cannot solve them. I have tried endlessly to speak out but no one actually wants to help the mental health community or the effects it has on people. They just don’t care. As in life we must choose to either get ourselves up or let life devour us. I know my story seems silly but unfortunately it’s the truth. I at least have my faith in God which is unwavering. So I know in the end I still hold onto hope. I hope if you read this and have no hope you find some strength inside yourself, ask God for help but do ask for help. hope you have a blessed weekend.
Bear my feelings
Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?
I have a Winnie the Pooh bear that was given to me I believe it was my first boyfriend but I don’t really remember who gave it to me. Regardless during my sickness and my darkest time Winnie was always there with me. Every night I went to bed he slept next to me. When I was hospitalized, when I traveled Winnie was always with me. It’s been a couple of years since he has slept with me hugging him but he still is in my room. I think he was my security blanket. When I had horrible dreams he was the one I held tight to. He was my comfort, he is so old and worn from being washed his colors have faded but he is still my favorite bear. When I am down I will still hug him to make myself feel better.
Be the light
What is your mission?
To find the path God wants me on. I want to be an explain of His love and His patience. He has given me so much I want to repay that by showing what He had done for me. I want to be the light He gave me in my darkest moments. Also to bring awareness to the mental health issues and how is the only answer.
Long life
What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?
As long you live a full life it doesn’t matter for how long you live for.
Greatest gift…
What is the greatest gift someone could give you?
Love me the way I am. Accept me the way I am. Be with me regardless of the chaos that I am. Stand strong with me and hold me up when I can’t. That would be the greatest gift for me.
All fun and games
Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?
Play games yes it’s my time to kind of just relax. I take care of dogs I guess you can consider playtime with me chasing them. But playtime I think isn’t important as long as you have fun whatever it may be. Anything that makes you laugh till your belly hurts or you can’t breathe is a good sign you are having a beautiful moment. Enjoy it and cherish it.
By Olivia Rodrigo
“traitor”
Brown guilty eyes and little white lies
Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew
That you talked to her, maybe did even worse
I kept quiet so I could keep you
And ain’t it funny
How you ran to her
The second that we called it quits?
And ain’t it funny
How you said you were friends?
Now it sure as hell don’t look like it
You betrayed me
And I know that you’ll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah
You talked to her
When we were together
Loved you at your worst
But that didn’t matter
It took you two weeks
To go off and date her
Guess you didn’t cheat
But you’re still a traitor
Now you bring her around
Just to shut me down
Show her off like she’s a new trophy
And I know if you were true
There’s no damn way that you
Could fall in love with somebody that quickly
Ain’t it funny
All the twisted games
All the questions you used to avoid?
Ain’t it funny?
Remember I brought her up
And you told me I was paranoid
You betrayed me
And I know that you’ll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah
You talked to her
When we were together
Loved you at your worst
But that didn’t matter
It took you two weeks
To go off and date her
Guess you didn’t cheat
But you’re still a traitor
God, I wish that you had thought this through
Before I went and fell in love with you
When she’s sleeping in the bed we made
Don’t you dare forget about the way
You betrayed me
‘Cause I know that you’ll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah
You talked to her
When we were together
You gave me your word
But that didn’t matter
It took you two weeks
To go off and date her
Guess you didn’t cheat
But you’re still
You’re still a traitor
Yeah, you’re still a traitor
God, I wish that you had thought this through
Before I went and fell in love with you
Emma the Mizfit 